I want to share with you my journey so far. It's been a long emotional roller coaster which I'm sure many people have been on themselves. I started gambling properly when I was 18, at the start I enjoyed gambling, the buzz, quick money and it soon took over my life both mentally and physically. I used to gamble on pretty much everything but now my main problem is the roulette machines in the bookies. I've done some stupid things over the past 8 years such as getting a 4000 overdraft, 5000 loan to pay this off but gambling it and doubling my debt, gambling other people's money etc. I've also hurt the people closest to me with the constant lies which I will go into later, despite all this my girlfriend has stuck by me somehow so I owe to her to change and build our future together.
In the past ive tried GA and councelling but when I think back I'm not sure I put 100% into it and whether I just wanted to look as if I was doing something about it. Pretty perfectic really but I was of the mindset that I can't gamble to pay off my debts and live comfortably. In actual fact I've just lost more money, continued to lie and hurt people and it's changed me as person into someone I don't want to be anymore. I've barred myself from bookies, casino, online, got rid of iPhone for a phone with no internet access, no cards etc but as a gambler there's always a way, I need not to want to look at these avenues as I really 100% want to stop and get my life back on track. Luckily I've got a decent job so the debt can be paid and can look to the future positively and gamble free.
i need to share a recent horrible experience with you. My mum and dad know I gamble and have a problem but it's seems they don't help me, only make things worse. I certainly don't blame anyone else for my addiction I just believe living at home with my parents is a bad environment for me which I will explain. Firstly on Friday I gambled and lost a lot of money as ever. I stupidly asked my dad to borrow some money, he said no problem and left his bank card for me. After losing that money my eyes lit up and took 400 pound to try and win my money back and as you can guess lost it all. It really did knock me sick as what right did I have to take his money but why would anyone knowing that someone has a gambling addiction give you there card and offer you that temptation. Again I don't blame him but things like this do not help the situation. That's not all, later that night to my horror my dad called me and said your mums cut her arms. I was horrified and the next day she said to me if that doesn't make you stop gambling. Again I felt sick that I did have a hand in this, also the drink didn't help. But really is this the type of support I get, if she's ends her life or hurts herself I'll stop. I was in absolute shock and scared. Any advise and comments would be great
this is my second day gamble free and I know it's going to be hard but I'm going to take each day as it comes and get my life back on track and build for an exciting gamble free future
curly
Hi Curly I have only just recently stopped gambling and just read your post. I am currently doing a day at a time. I think one thing that has put me off gambling is someone said to me (a close friend and mentor) that when I win whose money is it I have won. I replied the bookies. I was told I was wrong that I have won other people's losses which now makes me detest gambling as I do not want to win other people's losses that have caused destruction to their lives. I think it is a good way of looking at it to deter you from gambling.
Good luck
Hi Wakka
Thought I would check in with you, to say that NOT gambling gets to be a habit, just like gambling did. My first bit of advice, which worked for me, is commiting yourself to a post or two a day. Vent your frustrations, share your thoughts and engage with other members.
I personally tried to avoid reading posts by those who are still gambling, as it keeps you at the same level. I read posts by those who were stronger than me, the ones who were doing well and gave me strength. I took up a hobby and let that become my focus, now that it has I don't even think about gambling.
I read somewhere, that it takes 21 days to form a habit...
Good luck with your journey, it's even better without gambling. You will see 🙂
Hi Paul thanks for your advice.
I am very confident that I am over my problem which I know is arrogant to say when its only been a few weeks. However I am very disciplined when I put my mind to something and I believe my purpose now is to turn this into a positive and help others. Thanks again Paul
Hi wakka, that is a good way of looking at it and at the end of the day you never see a broke bookie do you. I really am positive though and in a good frame of mind. Have you put your journey so far on here?
paul I disagree with your comment personally. When I do get a year on or whatever without gambling I will still be reading new posts to help others and shares my stories. I personally could think of no better feeling than helping others in there recovery and even in the early stages of recovery I believe you can help others at the same stages though ideas and experiences
No but I will do.
My Journey
It potentially started from a stag do at a casino and also having a family member who did football accumulators. From there I started to attend casino's daily to play the roulette. At the beginning I had some good wins of a couple of hundred. I then developed strategies of beating the roulette wheel after studying it during my long periods of time in the casino. I could be in the casino from 9pm till 6am the next day that is how bad I was. I was betting up to 100 or 200 quid and always chasing to win it back hence the reason I was there all evening till the early hours of the morning. Overall I would say I lost about two thousand pounds. I was then introduced to horse racing and started using tipsters. I backed horses instead of using the roulette however later started gambling online on the roulette until eventually I stopped. I cannot explain it but I looked at my kids and wife and thought I'm neglecting them because I was always tired due to being on the laptop spinning the roulette for hours or putting on horses. My attention was away from my family all in the aim of winning my money back. I was never bothered anymore about being in profit just winning back what I had lost in order to please myself and wife. I decided after all my lies and checking up on the symptoms I had that enough was enough. The final straw for me was when I was told I am winning other people's money and I know this is someone's opinion but it worked for me. So now I have unsubscribed from all tipsters, roulette online and self excluded from casinos. In some ways I am grateful to learn what it feels like to have an addiction as now I truly believe I can help others and that is now my mission from now on.
Sorry for the confusion curly, I meant that I didn't read posts from those still gambling at the start of my recovery. Now I do, and I try to share some of my own experiences, and give advice that has worked for me that may help someone else to kick gambling in to touch.
I suppose what works for one person, doesn't necessarily work for someone else. Good luck you guys.
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