OK - this post could come across as really arrogant and condescending and that is the last thing I want, so please understand my intentions. I've finally reached a stage with this new year where I can honestly say that except for two minor slip ups I have been gamble free for nearly 4 years.
I'm telling you this because over the past 3 and some years this forum has been a massive help to me. I'm not sure I could've done it without the people on here keeping me real when I felt tempted. So I just wanted to say thank you and I'm now logging off, gone, left, goodbye.
I'm saying this to give hope to any one who reads this in the depth of their anger and despair - it really DOES get easier and better if you stop. The first month back in 09 was hell for me. But then it slowly got easier as I found other things to do with my time. Not easy at all, in fact harder than giving up smoking. But gradually it got easier.
It occurred to me today that I haven't felt an uncontrollable urge to gamble for a long while, just a twinge, a 'what if' minor feeling a few months back for first time in ages, but I rode the storm for twenty minutes and it passed.
I've been reading some of the posts on here and suddenly realised I'm no longer connecting with them, I don't feel or associate myself with what's being said. So it's time I left, otherwise I'll just read posts out of habit, or worse out of pity.
What I'm trying to say with this, my last post, is if I can do it, anyone can. My New Year's wish is that you all do it too. Gambling for me is the sneakiest of all addictions - it creeps upside my head when I feel too happy, it taps me on the shoulder when I'm feeling down, it loves me when I'm feeling bored, etc. But ignoring it and poking it in the eye when it tempts me, and coming on here to remind myself where that 'cheeky innocent bet' will lead, has helped me remember who is in control of MY life.
Stay strong, have a genuinely happy new year. It really does get better if you want it to, if you choose to make it so and have the strength to commit to it.
Be well and thanks for all the advice over the last few years. Goodbye and (in the nicest possible way, I hope I never have need to come on here ever again.
Molehole x
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Thanks Robert, I'm glad my post was taken the right way, I was worried it might come across as complacent.
I'll keep checking in to read posts if I feel tempted again to gamble, but if, fingers crossed, I don't then I want to see this whole gambling thing as something in my past, and to keep on reading others posts almost keeps the whole gambling thing in the forefront of my mind.
There comes a point in my (or anyone's?) recovery where I have to move on and not keep dwelling or reminding myself of the past, as it's unhelpful, even if it may help others to read 'success stories'. Hope you understand my need to be selfish on this. (although I'm not sure any of my previous posts really helped anyone, as I usually posted out of frustration).
Either way, my honest best wishes to anyone who finds themselves as low as I did back in 09 with the Roulette monkey on their back - I wouldn't wish it even on my worst enemy.
Right, that really is me off now... 🙂
Molehole x
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Great post, Molehole - thank you.
All best wishes for the future.
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