My Story

Hi guys,

I thought I would take some time to give you details about my story, and how I have ended up where I am now - a gambling addict. I find the word "addict" tough to say to myself and to others, probably due to the social stigma we attach to addiction. I admit here and now that I am indeed a gambling addict.

The good news is that things are improving, slowly but surely. Here is my story.....

It all started about 10 years ago, when I was only 20 years old. I was unemployed at the the time and was consumed by boredom, loneliness, and isolation. Out of pure curiosity, I placed £100 deposit on the 8*8.com website and played Roulette all night - turning my £100 into a healthy £5,0000. Wow, I thought, this is incredible. That was probably the biggest mistake of my life because it formed the foundations of what today is a very complex and serious problerm for me. About 72 hours after accumulating the £5,0000 I ended up losing the lot, as most of you could probably have guessed. I didn't think much of it at the time - after all, all I had really lost was £100. I quickly played more and more, though at this stage it wasn't about chasing my loses, more about experiencing something new and exciting.

Back then, even though I had lost substantial sums of money, the gambling wasn't an issue for me. The urges, feelings, and compulsion didn't exist back then. Today it is a very different story. For some unknown reason I started gambling again late 2012/early 2013, and things have been getting progressivley worse. It's not about the money....it's just about satisfying those urges and the overwhelming compulsion that has developed.

In total, I have lost about £50,000 of my own cash. This does not include money that I have won and then subsequently gambled back. I have struggled to pay my tax bill so have had to take out a loan with my building society to cover this, which is really annoying. If it wasn't for the gambling, then the payment of my tax bill wouldn't be a problem. The bad news is that I am about £14,000 in debt and this is causing me stress and anxiety; the good news is that I do have savings of around £15,000 so do have assets to counteract the debt. It's still not a healthy picture financially though. I live at home with family and they all think I have stacks of cash saved.......how wrong could they be!

Slot machines are my problem to be honest....I am ***, 30 years old, and feel depressed, lonely, and isolated. I also struggle to form new friendships and relationships with people and find it difficult to socialise with others. I guess I see slot machines as a way of escaping from all of these other issues, and continue to do it despite being fully aware of the destructive nature.

What really gets me is why??? Why has a compulsion developed that causes me to gamble to the point where I have very little or no self control? I don't understand why this has happened to me. The fact that urges and a compulsion has developed is highly regrettable, to say the least.

I have been making some progress though, and am determined to beat this problem. Here is what I have done:

1) Installed blocking software on my laptop so I no longer can access gambling/betting websites

2) Deleted my online banking apps from my smartphone - this way access to my money is more restricted

3) I only leave a certain amount of cash in my current account so if I do gamble what I lose is very limited

4) I have self excluded from atleast 100 different gambling venues in my region, here where I live in the UK

5) I am trying to find a way of hiding some of my credit/debit card details from myself so I cannot make online purchases. Thinking of simply using a marker pen or something to block out the CCV code or something

6) I have tried hynosis. It worked great, but the affects were only transient - about 4 - 6 weeks. I plan to try this again, but with a different provider

7) I am going to start attending GA meetings so I can offer support to people, and get support for myself

8) I have written to all of the head offices of all the UK leading bookmakers to request national and permanent self exclusion. I realise that the practical issue surrounding this makes it highly unlikely that any of them will honour my request; however, the gambling industry DOES have to take responsibility for the fact that people develop problems and addictions. Some form of national exclusion scheme would be very useful for problem gamblers, show that the gambling industry is being proactive, and show that gambling establishments are taking responsible gambling measure seriously and are happy to shoulder some of the responsibility for it!

Even though I firmly advocate the gambling industry take responsibility for problem gambling, this is not to say individuals should not take responsibility for themselves. We have a personal responsiboiliy too, and must put barriers and things in place to counteract our gambling problem/addiction.

Every time a problem gambler gambles money it does two things:

1) It perpetulates the problem: If you lose, you gamble more money to try and win back your losses; if you win, it encourages you to continue gambling because you want a repeat of that high or buzz.

2) It acts as a self abuse mechanism. Even though we know the probablities, we still do it! Do we play to win, or to lose? There comes a point in the addiction where money is not the issue and winning or losing simply doesn't matter to the problem gambler - this all depends on how far the problem/addiction has progressed.

Please note that I have used the term "problem/addiction" because of the subjectivity involved. What one person classifies as a gambling addiction won't always apply to others.

I am still in the process of self-excluding from some places, and that's what I am spending most of the weekend doing! Thanks for taking the time to read guys 🙂

Thanks, and all the best for 2015 to you all!