My Story

Hello Everyone

I have been reading forums on here for a while contemplating whether to share my story, perhaps hesitant as it would all begin to feel real, and writing this it does to be honest.

I am a 25 year old female, who has been addicted to gambling for around five years (give or take), and only recently really realised that the addicition is bigger than me and I need some help to overcome the problem. I used to be very into my sports and had a keen interest in football, horse racing and golf and started gambling around 18 on football matched and races, rarely betting more than £15 a month - something id say was a perfectly normal habit.

I led an increidbly social life, and due to personal circumstances in my life including my health, I suffered with bout of depression when i was 20. The time that I would normally be out sociailising or at university, I used to spend indoors as I would rarely fee like leaving my bed. I was incredibly bored, and thats where I started playing online gambling games and got particuarly addicted to the roulette wheel. I had worked incredibly hard whilst studying which mean I had £2,000 in savings at this point. I got to a point where i had made £4,000 profit on my money and was sure that I had control and could always win. Within the next few months my £4,000 profit turned into £8,000 debt and I had to sort a debt management plan out to repay the various loans I took out, but felt completely hooked to the online games.

I have become increasingly socially isolated, and still struggle with this (particularly now, as Im trying to quit for good), as im used to having my mind so preocuppied by gambling always thinking about what I was going to do next. I paid the Debt off when i was 22, and didnt gamble for 6 months, but slowly the habit has returned and though i have excluded myself from every site possible (I hope!), I have been going into betting shops in town as I live only two minutes walk away. I have slowly accuulated £20,000 worth of debt from loans, friends and family and have had to arrange another debt management plan. My partner has been so supportive through this, but cannot help but feel that I am only one slip away from it all ending. This is something that frightens me a lot, as my partner is my rock and a big part of my happiness in life despite all of the above.

My partner has helped my taking control of my money, and helping arrange the plan and also encouraged me to tell some members of my family, so they are able to support me also. Every day I am thinking of gambling and wonder whether this will ever go away? I cant help but feel i need to speak to someone, and wondered if anybody had any advice as to the best places to go to?

It feels bizarre sharing this sory as I feel like im almost alone being a young female gambler suffering from anxiety also (probably stemmed form the gambling), but suspect there are others within this category with the same problem - it would be particularly good to hear from someone in this category but would appreciate anybodies tips/help.

I am super keen to get my recovery in progress, and turn my life around. I am a business professional and currently working full time and studying my 2nd and final year of a masters degree, which is taking a fair bit of balancing.

Have a good day everyone, i hope to hear from you soon