Naltrexone and the problem gambling clinic in London

Dear @canterbury100 ,

sorry to hear your difficulties around getting the medication you felt was really making a difference, and sorry to hear you are feeling you might be going back to dark places without it. 

It is sometimes difficult to let go of something we've put so much hope into and where we've felt it was making things better. But it can also be an opportunity sometimes to discover that all the work that we have put in also contributed to the positives we've achieved. Have you considered that your 6 months gamble free and all the positives that happened in this time wasn't just the medication but all your efforts as well?

I am wondering if the GP has offered any alternative medication as a treatment for your depression, it might be worth checking with him if that is an option. If you are feeling that the suicidal thoughts are getting stronger, he needs to be aware of this.

We are also very happy to offer you additional support in this time of challenge and transition. You can call our Helpline or Netline any time, and we can also discuss 1-2-1 treatment support. You are not alone, and all of this has not been in vain, this is a foundation you can build on.

Wishing you all the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Hi Eva,

Thank you for your reply. I'm 43 and first went to GA at the age of 30.Since then I have stopped gambling 6 times up to 6 months. Every time, the reason for relapse was my depression. I have been on anti-depressants for over 20 years, have been to psychiatrists, counsellors, read every self-help book under the sun, joined the church, undertaken many many voluntary jobs etc. I can honestly say that at my age, I have tried everything and that's probably why men of around the age of 40 commit suicide. Firstly, I will say I was feeling very emotional when I made the post. I went home and got drunk and considered suicide. The next day I was determined to fight back. Over the last 6 weeks I've been seeing a CBT counsellor one-to-one. She has given me new ways of dealing with my self-destructive, negative thoughts and that snapped me out of what could have been a suicide attempt. I don't want to sound like a drama queen but my death isn't a big deal. However, there is a side of me that is determined to keep trying until things become  too much for me. The one thing that has made me stronger is going to the gym. I can be feeling very low but after a session in the gym, I'm feeling better. This has been a revelation. My past experience with gambling tells me I will relapse again and will be in crisis. I honestly can't deal with that happening. I feel let down by the NHS but I understand the strain they're under. At Christmas I was in crisis and was taking two anti-depressants at the same time. That tells me they are not the solution. I must change the way I think but when things go wrong in my life I become self-destructive. The good news is, I haven't gambled in almost 6 months which is coming up to the longest I haven't gambled since I was 11. There is a lot of positivity in my life. Maybe I'm doomed? Maybe I've exhausted all avenues and the result for my irresponsible actions is an early death? 

This will be my last post on  here. Keep up the good work Eva.

Stuart

Hello Stuart,

I'm sorry to see that you have been having a challenging time, after your difficulty with obtaining prescriptions for the medication that you found helpful. 

At the same time it is also heartening to read about some of the positive experiences you've had in recent months including a good experience of CBT, and the benefit you've found from exercising at the gym.  It seems that remaining sober, exercising regularly and practising CBT techniques have all proved worthwhile in countering your depression and supporting your recovery from problem gambling. 

Our forum members sometimes post that 'Recovery must be enjoyable to be sustainable', so it is good that you have discovered that you enjoy the benefits of physical exercise.  Some say that recovery isn't just about subtracting gambling from your life, it can include developing better ways of relating to your thoughts and feelings,  responding in ways that can be more compassionate.  It sounds like your CBT is helping you to entertain more helpful thoughts, and perhaps to talk to yourself differently, although at times your recent experience has been challenging.

You are welcome to continue posting on the forum if you change your mind about not posting.  Your posts come across as open and sincere and I imagine many forum members benefit from reading them, but also the process of writing them might have some value for your own recovery.  Reading back over old posts can also sometimes offer useful reminders of previous learning.

Please call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or netline if you feel like talking.  We are online everyday 8am to midnight.  For the early hours of the morning, there is always the Samaritans freephone 116 123.  Although you have felt some frustration with the NHS recently, please do continue to use their support for your wellbeing.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Thank you. I will use your site if I start going downhill. In the meantime, I will keep using the CBT techniques when times get tough as I'm sure they will eventually.

Kind regards,

Stuart