My name is Jen and I am not exactly new here but I have not posted in a long time
not a new member or new to gambling or new to trying to quit.!
I have tried to quit many times before. Lately I have realize I'm not ready to quit, even though I'm sure I should. I am trying to work on controlling my gambling instead since I won't give it up, which has actually been more successful approach for me. I know many will say that that is not possible, but I've even had counselors tell me that some people can control their gambling it just depends. I used to be an alcoholic and I am now for many years able to control my drinking in fact I rarely drink and when I do I am able to stop at just one or two so I guess I am kind of a rarity in that way.
Anyhow I've been trying to work on approaches of controlling my gambling such as spending more time looking at my finances and other goals to keep my motivation strong, taking only certain amounts of money set aside for gambling, and actually budgeting myself a small amount for gambling so I feel as if I can have a certain amount but keep it in perspective instead of just getting into my whole account $20 at a time. And working on thinking skills such as when the budgeted amount for gambling i.e. that is for leisure is gone it's gone. And that you don't get in the bill money. Because I used to. And reading/learning online 'tips for responsible gambling'.
This is actually working better as I think One of my roadblocks to trying to quit before us I really don't want to quit. I enjoy it too much. But I really did not have good limits or know how to gamble responsibly.
Am looking for some support and words of encouragement from anyone else who may have taken a similar approach. I know many people believe that we all must stop completely, but as I said I am trying to try this approach first. I really would like to try to see if I can learn to gamble responsibly so I can enjoy it and limited amounts and also achieve other goals in life, not just have only gambling in my life and spend too much on gambling. As I had to learn to drink responsibly , after a period of not knowing how to do that , I'm going to try to do this with gambling. Please be kind and offer your opinion & some words of support. If you don't agree that it is possible to gamble responsibly for a problem gambler you can say that, but please don't attack me . Thank you!! Looking for support.
Jen hi there ...!!! I also am trying to control... What I did find was... Introducing a set limit or trying to at first gradually became a reality as at first I did not succeed with the set limit but once it eventually clicked into place... And believe me it takes a lot of learning self control to achieve this feeling which includes self worth and confidence... But you must try to remember the G takes you to places where you will be tested and we are never quite in total control all of the time... But if you slowly decrease your limits then any mistakes you make are of a lesser significance, and you do less damage to your finances... Also remember to be thoughtful when it comes to your own feelings towards yourself... I hope I have made some sense ...!
You have made sense. And these are The types of thoughts and tips I was looking for. It seems like you understand exactly what I am trying to do. I do understand that I am more at risk for slip ups than somebody who learned how to gamble responsibly in the first place.
I should mention that my favorite thing is casinos and slot machines. I love going to the casino, I enjoy the experience.
The funny thing about my gambling is I actually know the chances of me winning are small I don't even always count on winning although I always hope for. I understand the odds are against me but I still want to go, I am an escape gambler.
I have been reading about this and I realize I am an escape gambler. And the things that led me to gamble in the first place need to be dealt with by me. And the addiction part just kind of crept up on me.
By learning about it I have also recognize the need to deal with my feelings. And to develop a more well-rounded life. I want to be happy and more in control!!!
I really appreciate any efforts anyone has taken / will take to answer me ; am looking forward to talking to anyone more about this. As I feel like talking through it helps me think of ideas of how to get myself under control.
Because I do love gambling, and I want to continue it. But I do want it to be a small piece of my life and more in control, not my whole life anymore and not ruining my life anymore.
Hello Jenilee. There are success stories based on your approach and I wish you all the best with it.
Thank you. I have in the past week reached a couple of milestones in resisting urges to go on days that I had not budgeted for myself to go as I've budgeted only one day a weekend with a set amount of money. I do for once have money in my pocket and the urges to go extra times are there because of that; but I resisted them! I understand it's always something to work on ; building these new healthy controlled habits and working hard at it; and it's too soon for me to get cocky that I've learned to control this LOL !! it's an ongoing battle.! But I've had some success that I can do this so I'm encouraged.
Personally I think people who are addicted who say they can control their gambling are just continuing their delusion but we are all entitled to our opinions and I maybe be wrong.
Totally disagree with the last comment but like you said we are all entitled to our own opinions
As for the last two post with their opposing viewpoints, I also believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And I am not 100% sure I will be able to control this, I am trying to learn how though, as I tend to agree more with Mark in the last post .
But also to the prior post who thinks it is impossible, please consider that they also say that about alcoholics and drinking and I was an alcoholic for years and did eventually learn to control it , successfully , for many years now. I currently drink very rarely, and when I do have a drink , I stop at one or two. And so I HAVE learned how to drink responsibly again and my many years of being able to do this prove that I've been successful at it. So sometimes maybe we should question What they say is impossible!
To the poster that said is eager to see how I do and wants me to keep an update up here on my progress it will be a challenge tonight because tonight is my budgeted night to go to the casino I actually I'm not budgeting myself any real cash, that's correct, zero dollars of real cash to play. Because I was I heavy gambler in the past I have $100 of free play on my card. My goal is to go and play with it and if I actually do get any wins which, I know I might not get any big wins lol, I might just go through The $100 and not win anything. But if I do have any wins to bring the real cash home. Wish me luck. Also my secondary goal is to just enjoy myself and have fun and enjoy being able to go and when the money is gone that is the comp free play money is gone it's gone and I leave. I'll keep you guys posted. I'm not saying this is the approach for everyone. But it might be the approach for me, time will tell.
as for the suggestion to fill up my calendar with other activities, like joining a gym, I really really need to join a gym I am way out of shape. But I am not ready to as I'm still working up to getting healthy again and joining gym is way beyond something I would do. But one other goal I've been having us to reconnect with friends so I was thinking of trying to make plans with family member or friend at least two times a week besides from my gambling night out. As a start. Which is a good way to reconnect with them . Any further feedback is welcome, as every single one of your post have given me support in different ways!
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