I am a gambling addict of 8 years, and I recently relapsed very badly - despite having been in a very comfortable financial position. I now have no money, again.
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Back in March 2021 I chose to make one of the best decisions by applying GamBan for online gambling. It prevented me relapsing on many occasions, however...
Around 2 weeks ago (when the World Cup kicked off), I had a serious urge to gamble online. I knew that using my own name would flag up and deny me access - and then very wrongfully I tried to create an account under my partner's name, but still believing I wouldn't be able to actually gamble without necessary information, but when I added my own personal card details I was very surprised to find that the gambling site would let me deposit my own money from my bank, despite the fact my name (which is banned on gambling sites) has been used from the bank details.
This is my own choice and responsibility to 'smartly' beat the system in place, and as much as I am angry that these gambling sites didn't pick up on this, I am mostly angry at myself knowing it was a one way street to big problems again.
I have virtually used all of my money on across 4-5 gambling companies (as each company requested to chat to me on the phone to check-in after I had kept depositing large sums in a short time). I feel stuck and I don't know where to turn.
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I am due to pay my rent in 2 days time, alongside my car finance in 3 days - in which neither of them I will have enough money for now. So here is where I am currently at:
-I have spoken to my bank about applying for an arranged overdraft...they rejected me and weren't very helpful, although offered lots of condolences.
-I can access a small amount of money on my credit card that I haven't spent on, but this won't cover my financial requirements right now - and I am sceptical of whether this is the right choice or not?
-My family and partner are all financially unstable currently, and so I cannot lean on them in this situation.
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If there is anyone out there who could offer me some of their experience or advice if they have been in a similar position then I would really appreciate it.
I just want to be able to pay my rent, my car and have a small amount of money ready for Christmas - as I am self-employed and my next set of income will likely be early January in 3 weeks time.
Hi @azzabazza thank you for your post on the forum and well done for reaching out today.
It is important that you do reach out for support and help for the relapse that happened as well as support for the financial situation you find yourself in currently. Please do reach out to us on the helpline, we are here for your 24/7, and we can support your with your relapse and gambling, as well as signpost you to services that can support and advise you with your rent and financial situation. Please do no go through this alone, you can always contact us on 0808 8020 133.
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/
We are always here for you.
Kind regards,
Forum Admin
Fearghal
Hi @azzabazza thank you for your post on the forum and well done for reaching out today.
It is important that you do reach out for support and help for the relapse that happened as well as support for the financial situation you find yourself in currently. Please do reach out to us on the helpline, we are here for your 24/7, and we can support your with your relapse and gambling, as well as signpost you to services that can support and advise you with your rent and financial situation. Please do no go through this alone, you can always contact us on 0808 8020 133.
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/
We are always here for you.
Kind regards,
Forum Admin
Fearghal
Thank you Admin.
I have setup counselling sessions with Breakeven again, as they have proven really supportive and helpful in my recovery previously.
And so far I have also reached out to Citizen’s Advice regarding what other options I may be able to choose in my financial situation.
I also plan to log into the chat room at 8pm to seek fellow support from the wonderful community here.
thanks
I would say the most important bill is your rent, speak to your landlord asap and try to come to an agreement on this. As for car finance ,with cost of living crisis most companies will offer some help if only 1 missed payment.
Main thing is to stop to prevent this happening again. Put all blocks in place, order new card and remove the last 3 digits was good advice on here. Try to eliminate all risks while you get the help.
I was in a bad place and i am on day 10 now gamble free, my mind is clear and focused. You can do it and the financial aspect will be fixed as long as you dont gamble again. Best way ibe found is dont burry head in sand speak to these people asap to take the stress of it, with a plan you more likely to sort things out at a quicker pace.
For me car finance is a luxury very few can afford , its become popular in the UK as everyone wants to be seen to be driving the latest model with all the bells and whistles
It costs an absolute fortune and is a huge drain on resources
Here is my advice
There is one company called Cazoo that will buy the car off you with the finance on it providing their valuation is higher than the remaining debt
If this is the case you can get rid of the car and potentially have a couple of hundred / thousand spare
I obviously don't know the exact details or if this would work but at the moment it is the only option i can think off especially with Christmas quickly approaching
I would then get on the phone to the landlord and plead poverty because of the time of year you might just get a sympathetic ear
You then work your bollAx off in january to get square again
whatever you do DO NOT go down the route of payday loans/ loansharks
You are far better off walking / getting the bus to work and it will teach you the hardship gambling causes
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I was in a similar situation many moons ago but i was young very young and i had little responsibility other than getting to work everyday , sometimes i had to sneak on trains and stuff to be able to afford food
It can quickly become a case of "by any means necessary"
Good luck with it and do not even think about digging the hole any deeper !
Azzabazza,
Here's what every CG doesn't want to hear. Imagine the bank granted you an overdraft, in who's name would you open up your next gambling account ?. Look long term, look at the route of the problem & own your addiction ( IT IS YOUR ADDICTION ) or keep looking for a short term fix until the next time you're in trouble. This may sound harsh but there are many of us fighting addiction & the last thing in this world we need is an education on how to get around blocks.
What your post shows is the end result of trying to get around blocks, the inevitable where there's nowhere to run & facing the ugly truth which is painful, yet the reality check every CG needs. Come clean, tell your partner the truth & contact the landlord & car finance company in advance and warn them you can't pay. You are heading for many more similar situations where SAME OLD I GAMBLED DESPITE EXCLUDING crises.
Recovery is commitment, buying into the idea that not gambling is a life time commitment, accepting the addiction is more powerful than yourself & there's no ducking, diving & looking for shortcuts. Are you ready for this ?. Have you ever attended a GA meeting, considered handing your finances over to someone else ?. I understand the pressure you feel but putting a sticking a plaster on an infected wound doesn't work.
Best Wishes
AL
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