How the hell am i back in this situation. I relapsed 9 days ago after going 148 days clean. I felt confident that it wouldnt happen again and i was really gutted that i gambled after so long but i didnt lose any money so i tried to learn a lesson. The exact opposite happened and the last 9 days since that relapse have been hell. Having almost ВЈ650 saved from not gambling the last four months i started overspending last weekend on going out and other stuff bringing the balance down to £350. This started eating away at me thinking i want to get my money back. Those 148 gamble free days where i was confident my blocks were up and i would never gamble again seem like a dream i was living because the last 7 days have had me returning to the compulsive gambler.
On tuesday i spent £50 on the lottery and now this evening after having gambling on my mind since tuesday i have just blown the rest on another casino website i found.
I'm finding it so hard to figure out why 10 days ago i was loving my life with money in the bank and now i've blown 4 months hard saving in 10 minutes.
Wow, Just Wow. This feel like a living nightmare.
Actually worried about telling my partner about this but i know i need too because my blocks need to become so strict from now on. why i trusted myself with my new card i dont know.
Sorry for ranting guys but i just cant seem to accept whats happening to me at the moment. The last four months have been amazing and now im left with nothing. Its a very hard pill to swallow.
Dear embracingthestruggle,
What a blow, to slip back into gambling again. You have made excellent progress though. Your four months gamble-free is still a great acheivement. It looks like you have learned from this lapse and intend to put stronger blocks in place to stop it happening again, which is a positive that has come from this experience.
If you'd like any support in putting blocks in place, or with any aspect of probem gambling, feel free to give us a call on the Freephone HelpLine on 0808 8020 133, or chat to us on the NetLine. We're here 8am til midnight every day.
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
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