Hi, I'm just 20 years old girl but I think I'm in serious gambling problem. Few years ago I've started to play poker. I didn't bet big amout of money and until I kept with bankroll managment everything was ok but last year I started to bet more money because I hoped to win money for holidays. I can't believe I was so stupid. Of course I realized my mistake many months ago but as I have gambling problem I could not stop and now I will be late with my rent again and I had to ask my dad for money. I was even thinking about solving my financial troubles with prostitution but thanks god I didnt do it. I think I need to talk about it with someone but I'm to scared to tell to my family.
Hi BellaBennet, welcome to the Forum and well done for posting what you have here - it is a very positive step my friend.
The problem with Poker is that it inspires false confidence; you have a good "run", and you, like most compuslive gamblers, believe that it will continue.
The reality is that it is virtually impossible to make money over a sustained period of time; the amount of players who turn a profit over five or ten years is almost non-existent - you have to ask yourself whether it is worth devoting so much time to something where you will end up a loser.
What you have experienced is ok, it is fine; you have discovered something in your life that you are effectively "mentally allergic" to - the key is to recognize that as a painful, but ultimately useful life lesson, and not turn it into something that blights the best years of your life, or something that blights your entire life as it has for a lot of people here (I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago).
The worst thing you can do right now is to bury your head in the sand - you need to take fast, proactive action my friend. Your best way forward at the moment is thus:
1) Install gambling blocking software on your PC/Laptop as a priority; there are some good ones out there like K9, Gamblock & Betfilter
2) Work out a plan to handle your financial situation. It doesn't matter how long it takes, it doesn't matter how deep you are in, the main thing is to get it down on paper and make sure you do everything you can to stick with it.
3) Analyze yourself very deeply - what drives you to gambling? Is it boredom? You mentioned about winning money for holidays - winning that money won't make you stop my friend; all it will do is make you crave more of the same.
You are not stupid, and you are not a bad person my friend. Obsession is a very powerful thing - it makes us say and do things that are completely out of character; you recognize that now and you have done exactly the right thing by coming here - you should be very proud of yourself for that. The next step is to not ignore the problem, tackle it head-on and do everything you need to do to get through it.
The urges will lessen in time, take it slowly, one day at a time my friend. Look at this as an opportunity to take a different path in life - there are many open doors at 20 years of age; think about doing something which adds to your life and gives you happiness and fulfillment that gambling never could. What you experience through winning money is based on a lie - it based on false hope that you can stop and walk away; don't allow yourself to believe in something that isn't true my friend - you are better than that.
JamesP
Well done for taking the first step and admitting you have a problem. There are lots of good people on here who can help you. We all start in the same place and the early days are so hard. Try not to focus on your debts too much, try to make a plan to pay them off gradually. Get a gambling blocking program on your computer and find someone to control your finances to make it harder for you to gamble. Try setting up a diary on here as this helps and I would recommend you take a look at the 2014 challenge as this is helping so many of us.
Look forward to reading more posts from you and this is the best place to be if you want to give up gambling!
I used to convince myself I could make money from poker, I won some tournaments with a few nice payouts but no matter how good you are at it there's always a large amount of luck involved, especially online where your AA will get beaten by some mug playing 27 off, time and time again. My problem was that even when I won I would end up blitzing it all in the casino so I had to give it up all together, if you're having problems I suggest trying to stop asap as things will only ever get worse.
On a positive note you're still young and gambling hasn't caused you any permanent problems yet so try and get out now when you still can, I wish I could go back to 20 years old and choose never to gamble again. Some people can gamble sensibly and enjoy it but we're not all that lucky and if you feel you may be a compulsive gambler then completely stop straight away as the other path is one full of misery and bad times
Try to self exclude from all poker sites (hard to do I know as there are thousands these days), it's a positive step and you'll feel great afterwards. There's even blocking software you can use to stop you gambling online, things are tough at first but it does get easier over time
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