Hi,
So i'm new to all this forum posting and general expressing of feelings in terms of gambling, As a lot of people on here i'm a young male (24 Years of Age) Who suffers with a gambling addiction, It sounds daft even saying that even to outsiders who have no idea or clue to what it feels like to crave the dopamine release and feeling the suspense of a ball spinning on a roulette wheel and you can see where it's going to land and to finally hit that big win, There's no bigger feeling right? You feel ontop of the world.
I've gambled the majority of my teenage years, even through school playing cards iand little daft games. I find myself at 24 years old no money, moved back home due to gambling all my money away, Online was a big problem for me but after finding myself self excluded on every site i can think of it moved to FOBTs and Casinos. One of my worst demons is that i'm a facts and figures person, I know how much the FOBTs make a week, I know the odds of winning and i know the overall statistics of gambling and how much people lose yet i still do it. Maybe it was the thrill of beating the odds and hitting the outrageous wins.
I recently confessed to my girlfriend that I am severely addicted to gambling, this come after last Wednesday I went into the casino and spent my entire wage of £3500 within probably a hour on roulette. I come home on Thursday morning finding myself in the deepeest darkest place possible, sat on our local fishing pond wondering whether the pain, guilt, helplessness and selfishness was worth it. I actually text my partner what i'd done and for some reason at 4:30AM she woke up and messaged me, comforted me and for this i'm eternally greatful because if she didn't I don't know what would have happened personally.
I think admitting to myself being a problem gambler and openly admitting to my partner, Who i recently got engaged to in June so need to make drastic changes, Has helped me massively.
I spoke to GamCare on the phone and that was the first step and honestly I felt instantly relieved and a massive realisation has hit me and to be honest I've not even gambled or thought about trying to obtain money since I lost my wage.
I've read through a lot of forum posts on here and my situation is equally the same to many others and can see the dark rabbit hole that is swallowing people up.
One of my main triggers was poker, I would go and play poker at a casino and then find i'd lost £500/£600 on the roulette and then have no mental focus to play poker. I've now completely cut this out my life.
I've found that if i keep myself occupied I don't even think of it I just think of the positives in life and plan what I'm going to save for, Setting myself a goal to purchase something has kept me going over the last 9 days to not consider it. I am going to make 365 days gamble free and when I do, I'll be back to post my success.
I wish everyone the best with their journeys in refraining from gambling whatever the hurdle is, You can overcome it. There is a way and there is a mean and purpose for everything in life, unfortunately we guys have been given the short straw but we can do this together.
Sorry for the long post and the fact that it's all mixed up and in bits and bats but I hope some can make sense from it 🙂
Regards
M
Hey. ..just wanted to say hi and welcome....you'll get loads of support on here from all ages....
May I kindly suggest that you read stories on here ...come here often....especially in the early days....and just take one day at a time....might not sound like much but each day you don't gamble is a day forward....I'm sure some of the lads will soon be along with loads of tips and advice....I'm just one of the old girls on here who likes to give some tlc ....lol
Good luck...stay strong...stay here x
Loxxie wrote: Hey. ..just wanted to say hi and welcome....you'll get loads of support on here from all ages.... May I kindly suggest that you read stories on here ...come here often....especially in the early days....and just take one day at a time....might not sound like much but each day you don't gamble is a day forward....I'm sure some of the lads will soon be along with loads of tips and advice....I'm just one of the old girls on here who likes to give some tlc ....lol Good luck...stay strong...stay here x
Hey,
Thanks for that 🙂 I've read a lot to be honest and it's quite eye opening. I can only imagine the satisfaction GamCare get when they know they help people succeed, Quite motivating to be honest with you.
I honestly don't have any drive to gamble right now, Going to attend a GA or couneselling session to cement it in stone and plan my future i think 🙂
Thanks again
Hi Micheal and Welcome to the forum .
Great first post and one that I can relate to greatly as just coming up for a year ago I was exactly where you are now , my downfall was also the Fobt's in the bookies and Roulette at the casino and I'm horrified looking back how it just became one big cycle of destruction but also such a normal part of my everyday life .
The money means nothing to us and any winnings if you can call them that, probably a better term would be borrowings ? are just gambling tokens allowing us to continue the same path .
Great that your partner knows as our addiction thrives on secrecy , it was one of the hardest things for me to do telling my loved ones the state my life was in but also along with letting go of my losses key in allowing me to reach almost a year gamble free .
I wish you well my friend and welcome to recovery
Alan
ALAN 135 wrote:
Hi Micheal and Welcome to the forum .
Great first post and one that I can relate to greatly as just coming up for a year ago I was exactly where you are now , my downfall was also the Fobt's in the bookies and Roulette at the casino and I'm horrified looking back how it just became one big cycle of destruction but also such a normal part of my everyday life .
The money means nothing to us and any winnings if you can call them that, probably a better term would be borrowings ? are just gambling tokens allowing us to continue the same path .
Great that your partner knows as our addiction thrives on secrecy , it was one of the hardest things for me to do telling my loved ones the state my life was in but also along with letting go of my losses key in allowing me to reach almost a year gamble free .
I wish you well my friend and welcome to recovery
Alan
Absolutely borrowing, I think one of the biggest problems with us gamblers is the mental reality of money,
Now when I speak about gambling I'm given a circle chip in return for my winnings, doesn't feel physically real unless it's cold hard cash, When i'm entering my 16 digit card number and 3 numbers on the back depositing £100 doesn't feel real as it's only plastic so mentally your not grasping that your losing.
NOW IF I WENT TO THE TABLE AND STUCK £200 COLD HARD CASH ON THE TABLE NOW THIS MY FRIEND WOULD GET MY GEARS TURNING!!!
I think this is when i finally realise that money is something you need, it's a fuel to life but not a fuel to fund the already fat cats sat in the ivory towers looking down laughig at us.
I'm understanding more and more through life the value of money and this is helping me stay away from betting and losing i believe.
All the best
Hi Michael welcome aboard. Well done for admitting you have a problem and actually doing something about it and well done to your missus for being there for you sounds like she's a keeper 😉 I totally know where your coming from regarding "it's not real money" it's only tokens or digits going up and down but then the cold hard realisation kicks in when you see your bank account. I have tried a few times to stop,I would've said loads of times but in truth I was only cutting down but this time I'm going to stop! I think the last time I tried I felt quite euphoric and that it was easy (mostly because I hadn't been paid yet) however after my relapse I feel more sombre serious and realise it's a slow process one day at a time. I admire your honesty and intentions to give this your best shot. I wish you well 🙂
New beginning wrote:
Hi Michael welcome aboard. Well done for admitting you have a problem and actually doing something about it and well done to your missus for being there for you sounds like she's a keeper 😉 I totally know where your coming from regarding "it's not real money" it's only tokens or digits going up and down but then the cold hard realisation kicks in when you see your bank account. I have tried a few times to stop,I would've said loads of times but in truth I was only cutting down but this time I'm going to stop! I think the last time I tried I felt quite euphoric and that it was easy (mostly because I hadn't been paid yet) however after my relapse I feel more sombre serious and realise it's a slow process one day at a time. I admire your honesty and intentions to give this your best shot. I wish you well 🙂
Look here, There is nothing more demoralising than looking at your balance £1,000,054 .. Available £54.04 and you know you've hit rock bottom again. This is the worst gut wrenching feeling ever. We've all been there and done it, I've told myself nb that i've quit yet i'll buy scratchcards walk past the bookies and quickly going in then WHAM it spiralls down from there but you can do this. Honestly you can do this. The biggest downfall for us is when payday hits and that's when the true temptation hits and it gets so hard to do resist and i know on the 23rd of September this is going to hit me like an absolute meteorite. But with the support of my partner and my willingness to stop I can do this, I know I can if I can't then i don't believe i deserve to control money.
I'm sat in work now, I've been given my commission statement as I work in sales and earned £1708 this month in commission so i'm thinking why am i grinding my absolute backside off to lose it in a hour. Absolutely not and i'm not doing this no more!
Regards
Yeah I slipped up on payday so I can sympathise with you. Maybe you should give someone else your cards? Anyway good on you keep that focused attitude and you'll get there 🙂
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