Well, I have only one advice to give that helped me. Give all financial access to your wife, and have 0 access to money online.
Hi
Well done for admitting and opening up. What has worked for me in the last 33 days may or may not work for you. i attend a GA meeting every week, the feeling of talking and sharing your story with people who have the same illness aswell as listening and learning from others is something i look forward to weekly. My other suggestion is hand over all finances and liabilities to your partner. It is not nice at first but it sounds like you are at rock bottom and need to do something to change it and you need to rebuild the trust at home. i recognise this as you are now 'ready' to change. By that i mean the bigger picture no more race days with the lads (best day out of the year) no more lottery, no more sports bets and no more horses/dogs.
​My doctor prescribed me some anti depressant tablets, he made me take my partner in the next day for another appointment and collect the prescription (just making sure partners are aware and we are upfront. this was a great help)
Apart from that keep strong and get your head down at work i lost my job over this so i am the same as you but with no currnet income!!
Best of luck you can do this you don't need it anymore.
Billy
Having been in your wife's position my view is you ought to be doing and offering more.
Full financial control including access to every credit report out there and blockers and passwords set by her to your devices as a start. Look into counselling to establish what's driving the compulsion and plan to attend GA now and going forward. Don't pressure her about trust. She won't and indeed shouldn't trust you for a very long time to come. She will need to see action not the hear the words she's heard countless times before. Has she got support for herself? It would be a very good idea for her to get that wherever she can whether via formal groups like Gamanon or via friends and family.
HI Ayoadeade (hope thats right),
You've had some excellent advice above bou now it is up to you and where you go with it. The first issue for me is your debt and if that is dragging you down then get in touch with stepchange. They will be able to help you to make more manageable payments so that you are not struggle every month to get by. It may affect your credit rating but no more than you missing payments or getting more credit.
As with most people on here your focus is centred on the money you have lost and how to get it back. What about the time lost sitting gambling that you could be spending with your wife and son….that’s got to be more important right?
If you are really ready to stop then you will start to make the choices that give the best chance of that happening. Telling your partner is good but if she finds out there is more it will be 10x worse believe me. Get yourself along to GA/Counselling. Some people say is not for them but what harm is it to give it a go? Its not going to make things worse is it? That’s not to say it’s the only way to go about it but maybe it could turn out to be the best way for you.
Whatever choices you make I really hope that it goes well for you.
Damo
Hello Ayoadeade1
Welcome to the forum.
Blocking the gambling websites and opening to your wife about your debt and giving her access to your accounts are positive steps. There is some great advice from other forum members here and would echo what has been said with regards to finances. Asking you wife to handle the finances for a time can be helpful while you start address your problem gambling.There is help for you here with Gamcare there is free counselling available across the UK and the counselling is face to face please see here for details. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-treatment/free-treatment
There is also group support with Gambler Anonymous and meetings are also across the Uk https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/
We have a helpline and Netline where you can speak with an adviser and they will listen to your concerns the helpline is open 8am -midnight every day. The contact number is 0808 8020 133 please see here for netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
You also say that you are looking at a possible debt management plan. Please see here a list of non-profit agencies who can give you free independent money advice. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/finance-and-debt-management#.VBwEDvldXww
You are not alone please keep posting
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