Relapse

@clairebear79 It sounds like you did a lot really well so there’s a couple of things I’d advise but I also have a question too.

As far as what’s happened, put it down to experience, learn from it and carry on. There are very few people, even with professional or structured help, who don’t relapse. The key to it though is to learn from it. Financially it hasn’t hurt, it’s now about how you feel. It you can keep that feeling that might help next time you are tempted.

Your gambling might be at the point where it’s not necessarily about the gambling. One saying in GA is that gambling isn’t the problem, you’re the problem, gambling is the symptom. If you put in the blocks you did but didn’t change anything about yourself, eventually when something in life comes along that you feel unable to deal with, gambling becomes your go to place.Never forget that you are an addict and the addiction will wait until you are vulnerable.

It took me many years to change my behaviour traits and change how I acted. I was gambling free for over three years a long while ago and something happened which I couldn’t deal with and I was back gambling within days. I didn’t know that though, I didn’t know that my gambling was a reaction to life and not wanting to face whatever it was. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! Through GA I worked a 12 step recovery program of change. That, along with GA meetings, has helped me deal with whatever might be happening and stay off that first bet. You could also get some CBT to try and change your mindset.

A question though? If you installed Gamban, how did you gamble? Finally, if you can’t change yourself, you can change your environment. How about putting a gambling block on your bank account?

I’d be interested to hear back.

Chris.

Hi

For me Gambling is a very unhealthy habit.

In time I would understand that the gambling addiction and my obsessions was just the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable, the emotional triggers indicated that I was vulnerable and reacted in some very unhealthy ways.

Each time I went back to gambling was a lesson I could learn from.

Being aware of when I was emotional vulnerable and understood my emotional triggers, I would reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I had no control over.

Today I understand my emotional triggers are where my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, my feelings of loneliness and boredom.

Why did I last gamble, what was my last emotional trigger and how can I learn from it?

By me facing my last emotional trigger I would learn how to process my feelings in a much healthier way.

My anger was due to be my pains not healed, my fears not faced, and my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

For me I could be outward angry, and I could also be suppressive aggressive.

Being in recovery I would have an understanding my unhealthy reactions caused me many pains.

Being in recovery I would understand that my healthy conscience was based up on healthy spiritual values.

Love healing and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

@chris-uk Hi Chris, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m actually really ashamed to say, but I used my partners iPad and email etc to set up a new account. He was completely aware that I was doing it, but he doesn’t know about the gambling and I honestly could never tell him, so i have to make sure that I don’t ever try that again, I have Gamban on my iPad and phone. I was also getting CBT help online, but I didn’t complete it as I very stupidly thought I could manage. Again thank you for reply and advice. 

@gadaveuk Good evening, thank you for replying. I am going to contact the online course I think where I was getting CBT help, I didn’t carry in with it as thought I was ok. I honestly feel like I had no trigger, I was quite happily relaxing last night after work , when I saw something on tv  and I was sure I would get a big win and had the strongest urge to gamble. I’m just fed up of it all I really am, I want so much to change. 

Hi Clairebear79 

I'm Claire too.

I did all that too.. After a few wines I was very clever I'd break Any gambling stop or exclusions etc.

My life changed due to My partner nearly dying so I stopped everything though I've had a couple of blips.  Drunk Claire finds a way haha. Im still needing support 3 years on. feel free to contact me if you need support x

I also used my partners accounts! It stung me when he wanted to add a few quid for the grand national on coral! Had to admit I'd used his account and put a £10 a day limit on it  embarrassing!!

@clairemc2018 Hi Claire, that’s really kind of you thank you so much, I hope your partner is ok. Now? All I’ve done all day is try to figure out what made me do it, I wasn’t thinking of gambling or anything and then just bang, I couldn’t help myself. I am furious I lost the 20 pounds but also happy it wasn’t 200. I’m really disappointed in myself, I work so hard for my wages and then behave like an absolute idiot. Thank you again for replying, it means a lot.

@clairebear79 

Thanks for asking! He had a heart attack and bypass. Since then we started a business which is very successful. 3 years and I didn't think about it until 2 months ago when one evening upstairs on my own I had too many wines and decided to sign up to some dodgy casino. I know its a scam. I won a lot of money and they wouldn't let me claim it or put deposit limit on my account. Not good! I am just about in control at the moment but trying to stay in control! 

Sounds like we're on the same page x