Relapse prevention

Hi Zulu13,

Thank you for posting this. I've read it with great interest. I can't really add much to your comments apart from what happened in my case. I want to mention what can trigger someone off into relapse mode.

I'd managed to give up gambling mainly on horses and football with a small amount of roulette thrown in. I'd stayed clean for about four years and then gambling disaster struck. The "trigger" in my case was stress caused by an ongoing family crisis. In order to escape from horrible reality i started to gamble again mostly online. The crisis has subsided and with it I began to come to my senses again. I self excluded and blocked all online gambling. It's very much one day at a time and I do the 2015 Challenge on here (35 Days clean). I am determined not to gamble again whatever happens now. I'll do this by recognising the "trigger mechanism" and not acting on it. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way sometimes, I guess.

i suppose stress could be added to your list of Relapse reasons. In the past I have used gambling as an "antidote" to work/life pressures with predictable results (eventual large losses).

You may win the odd battle with the bookmaker but never the entire war.

Thanks for reading this.

Hi Zulu, thanks for taking the time to put together your post on the common denominators. I have read it a couple of times now and keep coming back to it. For me it describes it so well. I am on Day 255 and after a long period of no urges, I am itching to gamble again. Even your name reminds me of a slot game. A shape on minecraft reminded me of another bingo side game. My head is full of gambling thoughts. Reading your post describes where my head is at right now but I know how important it is to recognise this before a relapse. If we can see it coming, we can prevent it. I will do the things in the second half of your mail and wait it out until the bad times pass as they surely will. Yes we all have different recoveries but your post has really helped me this weekend. Thanks again, Suzy

Thanks Mr Stop,

Stress is certainly a major trigger to a relapse and everyone has different ways of reacting to stress, a gambler or one trying to recover from gambling will be tempted to return to gambling during a stressful time.

I guess what concerns me most is how easily it can be to get sucked into this addiction after long periods of absinence. I often am told that a relapse or two is all part of the process and obviously not to dwell on it but learn from it and move on, I am not saying this is bad advise but if more people can be helped before going down that path then that could only be a good thing.

With gambling being the 'hidden addiction' it can so easily go from being a relapse into full blown addiction again. While doing my own research on relapse prevention I discoverd lots of information on why people relapse and as mentioned in my previous post found some common areas. I guess like all addictions we all have different reasons and triggers that led us down that road to begin with and I suppose there are different reasons and answers why we relapse.

If I am honest what led me to do the research was me questioning my own recovery. The fact that I would have been 1year gamble free yesterday if I had not of relapsed in the last year annoyed me slightly. I know I need to look at the positives and see that I have had long periods of abstinence which demonstrates my ability and determination to succeed in recovery if I apply myself. Deep down I was hoping there was something that I missed or there was some new revelation that could prevent me from faulting. The reality is only hard work and self awareness will give me a fighting chance.

Take care,

Hi Suzy,

I am glad that you have got something positive out of my post. 255 Days is a massive achievement and I applaude your determination. To me relapse prevention needs to be looked at more in gambling recovery programes. It is a big part of substance misuse programes.

Counselling was a massive help during my initial recovery, however once counselling finishes, it is like there is a gap. I kept trying to remember the things I discovered during counselling the further away I got the less I remembered. I tried GA and as a woman struggled with the boys club atmosphere. I would see people come through the door in absolute pain only to be told 'we know when some one is going to make it or not'. I enjoy reading posts on this site because if some one does relapse they are offered words of encouragement and support mostly.

I often think if only there was more support availible for those in recovery to stay in recovery. A structured support that was tailored for a modern society and modern gambling culture where women as well as young people of all genders make up a large part of the numbers.

Recovery is about self awareness and self repair but there is something uplifting and motivating in sharing with others and avoiding the isolation that leads us back to destruction. It can be a major contributing factor in avoiding a relapse. Which is why being a memebr on this site is so invaluble to me.

Thanks

Splendid post.
This one especially caught my attention

- - Working towards realistic manageable goals and rewarding ourselves positively for achieving them - -

A very good technique, letting you perceive the recovery path as a positive and enjoyable experience and therefore turning "keep recovering" into the default option.

Hi again,

I keep going back to your original post and mulling it over. Then I went to Suzy L's post and noted 255 days free. Now I'm on 36 days and still some way behind her achievement. As I post these comments I have absolutely no intention of ever gambling again. I have had urges and thought nice things about the exciting wins I've had over the years. These thoughts have not been sufficiently powerful enough to make me relapse.

If I had a crystal ball and could fast forward to say Day 200 of my hopefully gambling free journey, how will I react then to urges and nice thoughts about my previous wins ? Maybe a kind of fatigue factor will have set in (even subconciously) and thus will make me more prone to relapsing.I'm only human after all not a robot. Now I find myself standing in the betting shop studying the form and before I know it the bet's on. I know I shouldn't have and I'm feeling very bad with myself plus a huge dose of guilt. By now I actually hope my bet loses because if it wins I'm hooked again.

It's not a scenario I view with relish so I need to prevent it from actually happening. How ?

The way I feel I would resist an almost overwhelming gambling urge at some point in the future is to challenge the urge by reminding myself of what the consequences of placing an actual bet could be. In my case I have had a severe nervous breakdown and spent some time in a mental health unit. This was due to the "fallout" from my years of gambling and the hell of that experience may be just enough to put me off bet placement. This hopefully preventative measure would be really just the thought process equating gambling with pain. Visualising some of the horrible events associated with the breakdown may do the trick.

Would it definitely work for me ? I Don't know. Until or if I ever get such a strong urge. I would have to wait and see.

The above method may not be everyone's cup of tea but it's the only one I can come up with for me.

In the meantime I'll continue to do what I'm doing. Plenty of which I've mentioned elsewhere on the Forum.

Thanks

Thanks Again Mr Stop,

Your story and motivation re-emphazises the last point in my initial email of things that might help. That is accepting reality and seeking the possitive out of a bad expierience. If visualising some of those horrible events possitively stops you from gambling then that is a very positive thing and may keep you from a relapse which is fantastic.

There are no hard and fast rules to success in recovery we can share whats working for us and what has worked for other people. Yet it is up to each of us what we choose to take and apply in our lives, as long as we manage to stay gamble free then something is working which is great. Mr Stop you sound like a determined man who probably will never relapse and I sincerely hope you do not.

Like all posts on this forum mine was only an objective overview of common denominators which may contribute towards a relapse, not be the sole cause of one nor offering any deffinate lasting solutions. It concerns me of how many posts I read of people retuning after periods abstinance only to find that they have relapsed and some in a bad way. I researched the subject because I had a specific interest in relapsing as I had had a few myself, and could see others suffering. If one person finds something useful in it then great. If not then so be it I have found something useful in it.

Thanks

Something I wrote a while ago and was thinking of putting it up again to remind myself and others.

Hey Zulu ,

Great diary and definitely taking some of the ideas that you shared here. You spoke like a true counsellor bring on the uni degree 🙂

Sars

Wow this will certainly help me I'm 21 days game free