Relearning the value of money - Ways you have found works for you

I’m interested in this too. This is my next step in my recovery. I had gone from gambling to then spending frivolously! I have just started reigning it in and budgeting 

Yes, ive always struggled with seeing the value of money. Like you say, when in action its just like gambling tokens. When in action I spend nothing on myself and when I do its through clenched teeth. In the moment it seems like such a waste... such is the power of my addiction. For me it doesn't matter whether its cash or numbers on a screen, it has no value when in action. In fact cash probably gets me even more excited than numbers on a screen

I only really see the value of money when I haven't got any and my bank balance says £8.63 when i may have 3 weeks till pay day, with no access to any other money. That's when it truly dawns and that's when the shock sets in.

For me part of the answer is yes, treating yourself, both with instant gratification (take away etc) but mainly with something physical and long lasting, like a new jacket, nice top, something for the home, new running trainers. For me I might struggle to spend that money initially but after a few days i start to "feel" its value, it just takes a little longer.

Interesting topic guys. Ever since I can remember I've not been good with money. I remember being on holiday with my parents and brother who is 13 months younger, by the middle of the week my pocket money would be running out and my parents would be making it last for me my brother would still have nearly all his. When we were teenagers he never spent his allowance I never had any left he would lend to me but I had to sign his book to say how much I'd borrowed. When I started work I never had money and then I started with credit cards and if I wanted a dress etc to go out and I didn't have the money I would get it on credit. You can see how my life has gone 2 Ivas and compulsive gambling and my brother ?? Only debt he's ever had is mortgage and we were both brought up the same way in a house 2 parents who saved up for things that were needed. Now aged 55years I'm finally in recovery tackling my relationship with money. The fact that my husband is in control of the finances is a must, I can't mess up again but I'm also learning. I see nice differences already I had money for Christmas and birthday and I still have it to spend when retail opens up and I've made a plan of what I can get with my money. Last year I would have put it in the bank gambled it and lied about it said I was short of shopping money and had to use my present money........shameful ..,.but I'm changing I'm leaving that version of me behind finally. But why are people brought up the same so different from a young age? It's food for thought.

Hi natural.

You are searching for a peace of mind to live again so its how money fits into that process.

The system we live under has built up money to define who we are. Its a man made concept and a vulgar concept when you really analyse it.

You have to try and break free. Does your money define who you really are? You have to learn not to fear it and also not to love it too much We are taught to be slaves to money and shown images of untold wealth. Its no wonder we get ill with it and tend to crave more.

We also have to look at our relationship with stuff. In my younger days I was buying everything like fancy SLR cameras and video 8 recorders and barely using them...I liked the idea of buying stuff more than the practical use of owning it...I was soon bored of it and looking at the next new item. I did this with cars, clothes and everything...jackets I never wore!

My spiritual and love life was non existant so I tended to substitute stuff for real happiness...perhaps that is one reason why I became jaded with stuff/money and was always prone to gambling

I think I now have the relaxation of buying things I really want and will get some serious use out of. I tend to buy things I think carefully about and would rather keep money in my rainy day fund. However I can still have a tech treat when I fancy one and Im not scared of wanting a nice bit of kit.

I used to tell myself I couldnt afford treats and then go and gamble away five times as much....a crazy addiction and illness!

I stopped gambling and started learning about the value of money again from the basics. The smile on the face of someone I had bought an ice cream for. The joy that even a pound can bring. Infact a pound is a lot of money and I started looking at that way. I used to waste that every two seconds on the devils machines.

So what you ask is a very deep question I have only touched on. You will use your own thought processes to deal with it.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

When I put all the blocks in place from gambling I created savings pots in Monzo and titled them with things I would like to buy and save money towards them.

Being over a year gamble free, I’ve managed to save and buy the things I wanted, I learnt that gambling may bring a £1.5k win on a £10 acca but you’ve lost £5k prior to that big win.

I realised by not gambling just seeing your money accumulate in your bank account was a buzz... I like seeing a positive balance and not being in an overdraft, paying a loan off of clearing a credit card. I’m now able to have money for me, buy what I want, invested in precious metals, book holidays, make home improvements etc.. the every day things.

Look at the bigger picture. Don’t get sucked into the buzz whilst sat on your phone gambling for hours on end and feeling like rubbish after losing everything, waiting for the next pay day which is 4 weeks away and worrying about how you’re gonna pay your bills.

@debsy371 

Thanks for input @debsy371 very cool, lol yea we defo need to catch up as recovering gambling addicts, after all that lack of spending on yourself/normal /basic things, really cool your normalising/sorting an attack plan/budgeting grabbing it by the horns.... no more head in the sand/computer screen for us 🙂

@s-687

Really good to hear how you like to treat yourself, and the similarities thankyou @s-687

@charlieboy

Hey @charlieboy yea i have x1 brother and x1 sister.

my sister was similar /is always been amazing with money, i was always a bit pants to be honest to,

kinda lived day to day/spent what i had/earnt when i was younger/pocket money,

and had to much of a sweet tooth too lol still have.

yea the basics of how we learnt regarding is very interesting, real good angle to investigate.. cool.

one of the biggest problems i found was living a life on finance 

between that and gambling it was virtually impossible to have any respect for money or its value because i didn't really own anything 

at my worst in my early 20's  i would get paid 1,200 a month from my office job and around 800 of that would be swallowed up the next day to bills and creditors the remainder would have to cover fuel , food , and socialising etc 

i justified that i was in so deep it wouldn't really matter if i went deeper ......which fed into the gambling 

very difficult period of my life and not one i wish to ever return too but i survived

it was only when i went insolvent and lost the safety net of the credit did i start to respect money again 

slowly but surely i paid my debt made some good investments and built up a strong financial buffer 

probably lost 3 inches off my hairline in the process but i got there 

think a lot of people live their lives within a credit bubble that could realistically pop at any time 

@joydivider

Hey thankyou @joydivider very in-depth

Really Glad your finding a way that you can rebalance your mind regarding money,

very interesting to hear..

and in the greater societal function/who we are/how others feel about us// success etc.

can be quite a large subject matter definitely , the 1 pound is yea a very good basis start... 

@thejollyman88

hey @thejollyman88,

thankyou Man, i'll defo look into the monzo account sounds good.

@maxmaher

Hi @maxmaher

Thankyou, so you had to proper go through the ringer jasus, three inches of hairline hahaha brilliant.

to come out the other side realising the importance and creating stability 

so cool man, powerful as really good to read your achievement, i hope i get somewhere near would be very cool... hopefully hairline stays ok though hehe, very stimulating .

Recently paying off my debt has had a profound effect on me.

As though a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. 

It feels a bit surreal but good.

Aum ?

I feel this is one I have a big problem doing - spending money (when not gambling) 🙂

having gambled an average of £2000 every month for 4 years between 2013 to 2017, and being in debt after it, I have now paid and built up some savings to over £40,000 (I don’t know how, I only earn £25k a year)...but it’s just sat in the bank.

There was me thinking when I was losing money or was sad thinking about all I lost ‘I could have paid for many trips to Florida’, ‘I could have bought a house with that (a decent one too in Scotland)’, ‘I could go out more and to restaurants’ - not done any of those things or thought about a house deposit.