Reporting a Casino preying on the weak

Bit of background:

I suspect my story will be similar to most in here.  I grew up in the pub scene with my mates (Im 39 now).  I didnt go to Uni I just followed my friends there for the party scene.

I was asked to move out Friday by my wife after I gambled most of my wages away on an online casino which meant most DD’s remain unpaid (with the exception of the Mortgage and Council Tax).  I already have £50k of debts, not all from gambling just poor budgeting from my last job where I would rack up expenses in a month and be short so when I was paid them back to my account I would use that to fund the shortfall.

I have two kids 7 & 9 and I am genuinely lost without them.  I have just had a CBT referral through so hoping that will have a bearing.

My addiction’s problem be it alcohol, drugs or gambling, I use it as respite I guess, an outlet if you will and in the case of gambling a means to transform our lives and fix things, though it really does have the opposite effect.  I watched this recently (<a href=" removed link "> removed link ) and can sadly resonate with this 100%, I have won on many occasions but I am happy to up the stakes and risk it all in a heart beat it then becomes the chase to win it back, how can I win it back, how can I get the funds to do it I ask myself.  I cant explain just how easy my brain switches off all warning indicators and ploughs ahead, if I go into it with a limit that’s quickly put aside, then the next limit and so on. 

I have felt so vested in winning it back that it is almost a means for self-harm, I know I shouldn’t but I kid myself I have restraint. If I lost heavily I would get angry and self-exclude from a site in a tantrum but either later on or the next day I would simply find another site.  I signed up for Gamstop last year and that booted me out of the many, many accounts I have had.  ***  I told myself, one more hurrah….you can guess where this got me.

I earn a fantastic wage and yet every month WITHOUT FAIL, I am out of money, sometimes very early on.

I guess the lead up to this was my last job where entertainment was riff and cards were being thrown around paying bills.  Whilst many were paid for by the company when I was short at the end of the month I would simply not transfer the money back from expenses to the card and use that to get me by, this built up, to around £10k or so, in fact I couldn’t tell you how much as to me it had become just another payment out of my account.  It felt like every pay rise I got I wasn’t feeling the benefits it would just tighten the noose and if a little daylight got between it I would load it up again. 

Things got really nervy when my anxiety began to prevent me from doing my job or in some case my social life.  There were many times I was just not able to get on a train, in a car and most certainly a meeting room.  A few people at work knew I was struggling and so protected me so I could seek help.  That’s when detox number one came in.

The company was bought out which really made me nervous as my supporting team where all jumping ship but I knew I wouldn’t be able to as any interview I just wouldn’t be able to make through pure fear and anxiety, I would often be sick with it. I have all this to pay back and my health is giving me all the signs that I am done and will be found out for being a burden.  Yet I need to pay the bills I am too young to retire and certainly too in debt.  Sleep is tricky because of it, all day I think of it and when I lay there are night it keeps me up, I guess alcohol was my means of tranquilising myself out cold.

Everyone says call if you need anything but no one understands it, they just say stop, its really not that easy and I am not blaming them after all I am supposedly a grown man.  Its like the Sirens from Greek mythology, a constant call to disrupt normal life.  The challenge with my addictions is just how readily accessible they are, C*****e I can get in the same time it takes to get a takeaway, gambling online is in your pocket and Alcohol is just, well, everywhere.

Depression over shadows this through-out the day, constant regrets and the worry of being a failure to people if they knew.  I use these addictions to take me away from that feeling albeit temporally and once you come out of it you have simply grown the problem.

Recent months I have really been, well a d**k, I have had no respect for those close to me.  I mope around all day feeling sorry for myself (I genuinely wish I could snap out it) and I’m just an a*sehole to be around.  I want to be nice and happy and bouncy but this black cloud over me of mounting debts just bring back the idiot that put me there ‘try and win it back’ it says.  Endless routine of making it all worse.  But the worst thing of it all is my previously honest and considerate self has turned into a lying selfish piece of s**t.   I hate lying and yet all I do is layer another one on as not to have confrontation. STUPID.  This is not going away, its too big for sweeping under the carpet.  I am simply scared. 

Well tonight despite all this my folks wired me £1000 to settle the bills I have failed to pay and well you guess it, within 30 minutes it was all gone.

I am at my wits end, I didn’t want to do it, in fact I said no in my head but I ploughed it all into a casino that I have asked for my account to be closed 3 times. 

What I am after:

I am on Gamstop but this Casino is preying on the weak and always delays the closure and offers a few quid to try again and before you know it your chucking more in.

Is there a way t report this behaviour as I do feel they are irresponsible?  I know that sounds like a bad loser but I truly believe it’s a poorly run casino.  Example, 21 days to get your withdrawal, max £500 per day to withdraw with a £2000 weekly limit and no way to stop reversing withdrawals…. I mean that’s just setting addicts up to fail right?

Your advice appreciated.

Peace to all those struggling, there is light at the end of the tunnel - debt is debt but life is worth fighting for even when your down and out and thats coming from me.  Its ok to feel ashamed, people love you out there even if you say they wont.  Hang in there folks!