Hi world,
My name is Lee, 27 year old male from the UK. I have read many of your posts and must admit they have given me great inspration throughout time, I never thought I would be able to interact with others regarding my problem however now I feel I have to.
I have gambled for approximately 5 years where I would consider it to have spiralled, particularly within the past 2 years which led to the demise of my previous relationship. I have a very toxic relationship with horse racing, beginning in April 2015 at a race meet, unfortunately this is where the problem really begain to escalate. I have found myself since losing upwards of £1000 everyday on a single horse bet, including yesterday evening bringing me to finally sign up to the forums in order to confide in others who have the same experiences. My partner who I have been with for a year now is aware of my situation, only because I left myself completely broke after my payday and I hadn't cleared my bills. If this hadn't been the case I would have probably lied to her and kept my secret hidden - a blessing in disguise. My family too are aware of my problems although I am not sure they understand the extent of my misery. Credit card/payday loans and overdrafts have led me into a viscious debt cycle of approximately £17,000.
Within my social circle I am considered very outgoing and confident, deep down I am severely depressed and long for a happier life one day, with my partner who I truly adore. I have a reasonably well paid job compared to those around me however my spiralling interest charges and debts leave me with less each month.
I am determined to break this cycle, please help. Any advice or positive talk to share experiences through this harsh and lonely addiction would be greatly appreciated.
X
Leeroy32
You are not alone buddy!!!!
Reading your story, felt like it was about me.
I know exactly what you are going through right now. I'm in a similar situation my girlfriend and family have just found out that i have been gambling again and got myself into a serious amount of debt and close to losing everything i have worked hard for.
Here's my life story.........
I'm a 28 year old male. I have been gambling for about 10 years.
Last week i was at rock bottom. I was in a horrible lonely place. It felt like everything around me was falling apart. I had stupidly got myself into £110k worth of debt from online gambling. I was surviving and hiding this massive weight on my shoulders by living off credit cards. But i new the money will run out and i new i couldn't carry on ignoring the debts.
My girlfriend clocked that i was using multiple credit cards. i lied and lied trying to convince her that everything was fine. I think i was trying to convince myself. After a couple of days she contacted my Dad telling him hkw worried she was about my finances.
My dad asked to see my bank account. I refused for days but i new i couldn't deal with this alone.
2 days ago i wrote down all my debts. It made me feel ill. I hadnt gambled for over 1 year and in 3 months i had got myself in £110k worth of debt.
I have a house with a mortgage, an amazing girlfriend and a well paid job. I am close to losing it all.
I could crawl into a corner and and cry but that wont make the debt go away. i have to stand up and face the truth. i have got myself into thjs situation and with the support and help availble i know i can get myself recovered and my life back on track.
I have booked up to attend councelling next week. I am planning on attending local GA meetings.
This is the second time i have got myself into debt from gambling. Last year i got myself into £60k worth of debt. I was lucky enough that my family could help me financially. But i thought i could get rid of the addition without professional help and support. I didnt gamble for 14months.
Now im back in the situation i was in 14 months ago but worse.
My biggest regret is not seeking help for my addition all those months ago. I convinced myself i could recover and not gamble again without help.
Maybe if i got help the first time i wouldnt be in the position i am now.
Stay strong, be honest, dont lie to yourself and use all the help and tools available.
Dave
Hi Leeroy,
When we hit rick bottom, the debts we have built up are usually our focus but we learn that this is just money which will get repleced over time. Money is not the issue, when we dig deep enough gambling is not even the issue, the issue is ourselves and the ability or lack of to deal with life's stresses and anxieties. Gambling offers us an escape which gives us a buzz to make us feel good, but we cannot get enough of it and cannot stop.
Get to your nearest GA meeting, start opening up to others, be completely honest with yourself, fmaily, loved ones and fellow Compulsive Gamblers. Put your energy into the 12 step recovery program in GA and you will turn your life around.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
