Self exlusion pointless

hi bob,

i understand your frustration, I tried to self exclude from everywhere i could, (shops and internet sites) and it is so easy to re-open an account or i find the shops simply turn a blind eye, or like you say,there is always new places opening up.

you have to remember, the bookies are interested in one thing MAKING MONEY, and they dont care what damage they do to an individual in the process.

in my view, gambling is a stronger and more damaging addiction than any drugs, it totally destroys a person, takes everything they have got.

we as problem gamblers have to be strong and realise that gambling of any sort will only end up in misery.

i wish you well my friend.

I've found self-exclusion really empowering and what helped me nip my problem in the bud. Truth be told though, all our problems vary, some are hooked on fobts, some on poker, some on bingo etc. And that temptation to play will sometimes linger after you self-exclude, which may result in you wandering to another bookies or to another site online. I've done this myself, so know from experience. Try your best to to take each day as it comes. Every day your free of gambling makes it less likely you'll gamble again. It gets easier down the road of time. It can be a battle, but if you can do a day, you can do a week, then a month and so on.

Forget these machine, as hard as it'll be, and forget those losses, which is as equally hard to begin with.

Just focus on you and your recovery from what has obviously become a psychological addiction to gambling.

Wish you the best

Alex

I could not disagree with the title of this thread more!!

Self-exclusion is a two way thing in that you sign to say you won't go into the shop for a period of time and they commit to asking you to leave if you do. I would be very surprised if they knew people had self-excluded and still allowed them to stand there mindlessly and stupidly feeding money into a machine.

I am not aiming this at anyone in particular but the trouble with some on this site is they are not prepared to put a decent effort into stopping themselves gambling, nothing is ever their fault and they will find any excuse as the one they need to justify gambling their money away.

If new shops open, and open they will, there is nothing stopping anybody self-excluding on the day the shop opens. Carry a supply of pictures of yourself and you can self-exclude instantly.

Of course you cannot and do not need to self-exclude from every shop in the world, it is mostly required for those shops you live close to or can easily travel to so when temptation comes along the option is closed off immediately as you cannot go in.

If anyone is finding they have self-excluded but are knowingly being allowed on the premises then email the chief executive of the retailer concerned with evidence of times and places and see what happens. The only drawback will be that you will may look a bit weak as you signed to say you would not go in but still did!

As ATK said self-exclusion is very empowering and I must say it also helped me nip the problem in the bud once and for all.

Regards

Dave

@dave

surely you must realise that being a pathological gambler will mean you ultimately want to stop but are not able to do so,

if it was as easy as simply self excluding from a few local shops then there would not be a problem.

maybe you havent experienced gambling problem to the extent that you will go to quite extreme lengths to overcome any hurdle.

and yes, self exclusion will for some cases make the individual be more determined to gamble.

look for example at what holland are doing to kerb drunks, they are giving them alcohol! crazy as that may seem, for they know to put a hurdle in place will only make them drink more!

self exclusion does not work for everyone, for some, it is more damaging,

but i do appreciate this simple means will be the answer for a good many.

self exclusion from local areas will stop the initial urge, but5 for the most ardent of addict, they will then only travel further afield and in that case place higher bets to justify their time and effort,

but as was said earlier, each gambler is individual, the way we act , the things we bet on, and ultimately the strategies to make us stop.

Hey - I'm fairly new to the forum and also early in my recovery.......but even from a logical standpoint, can I just raise a point here.......?

Self exclusion is just one of a number of barriers we can create to prevent us gambling. Whether it be on line or on the high street. If you are really determined to gamble then one way or another you will. However, the higher you build your walls, the more difficult it is to get through them, over them or around them. Restricting access to money, handing over finances and bank/credit cards to someone else, changing bank accounts etc. are all methods I've had to deploy to prevent myself gambling.........not cure, but prevent. As with the gambler who is determined to gamble, the gambler who is determined to stop, regardless of state/mindset/depth of illness etc. would surely build barriers so high that they would be extremely difficult to penetrate.

I agree Gonzo that recovery is bespoke, but that being the case, from the tools we have all read about on this forum that are available to us to put in our bespoke toolbags, surely a suite of things can be pulled together to I've yourself a fighting chance? It may take multiple attempts, but again, with that determination and learning from slips, if you are truly motivated to stop you will create a way.

Anyway, maybe naive or ignorant rambles over, just a tuppence worth.

Mr Brightside

There's two elements to self-exclusion - 1) practical and 2) mental.

On the practical side - it does raise a barrier, but someone who is completely determined to gamble will get around it. But the point is, it at least makes it more difficult and creates a delay - which may provide just enough thinking and reflection time to get off that path.

On the mental side I think it is extremely useful. It is a public admission of the problem and more importantly an admission to yourself. Yes it might be a bit embarrassing but do you know what - that's no bad thing. It makes it real, it makes you realise your pathological gambling behaviour was NOT normal or right and needs to stop. It takes you to the source of your problem and makes you say - this is not OK for me. That's a very good thing indeed.

Thanks to all who have replied so far.

I take on board all that has been said and have reassessed my position on self exclusion. If I self exclude from three or four other local shops then it may be beneficial on certain occasions.

May I also add that it is my belief you can only self exclude from three shops owned by the same company. Can any of you good people confirm or deny this. Certain companies have eight or more shops in my city.

Anyhow, I strongly believe that it should somehow be possible and practical to be banned from all shops. Does technology not allow this to happen?

If a person has over indulged in alcohol then the licenced premises is legaly obliged to refuse service. However I have stood in a bookmakers shop clearly distressed. Scarlet in the face, sweating profusely, shouting and swearing and pulling at my hair. Do they monitor their CCTV footage? Are their staff instructed to ignore the distress and continue to take debit card transactions until the punters bank account is empty?

I have a responsibility in all of this, of course I do. Surely the bookmaking companies need to stand up and take some as well.

Bob.

Hi Bob,

I've just looked out the 4 self exclusions that I went through with the major high street players - look at my diary thread for clues as to what ones.

Each one of them has space on the form for anything from 3 to 5 additional shops to be specified at the time of excluding, however, all of them have space for a contact number to be left or a customer care number to call should you wish to be excluded from more shops in the area.

Ross makes a really important point about the mental barrier it puts up - again, read my diary for how this helped me even as recently as Friday just past. For me, I could not face the humiliation of being thrown out by a member of staff, as slim or big a chance as it may be, so would simply not want to put myself in that position. It certainly makes me think.......plus also liberates me to move about my local town without fear of being sucked in to one of these hell holes.

Stay strong fella - you can win this.

Mr Brightside

Im a manager of one high street shop and you can self excludefrom six shops max, unless you go through customer relations.reason it is so limited is so that it can be managed properly. There is a big focus on machines at the mo and responsible gambling. Some of the sights I see are heartbreaking but sometimes I dont know how to help. Also it hasnt stopped me getting a bit stupid on machines myself lately,and I should know better. Today is my first day of being gambling free. Not giving anymore of my hard earned money to the machines.

Hi Stanley 10 and thanks for your feedback.

As a shop manager, you could be a wonderful asset on this site.

You will obviously have attended management meetings and have targets to meet. You must also have regular visits from your area manager.

It would be facinating to know just how brutal these people are in pursuit of bonuses.

Do they genuinely not care if people are distressed? Are counter staff instructed to blank out distress and simply continue to empty the addicts bank account?

I am not stupid, I am well aware that companies are out to maxamise profit. However this should not exclude ethical and moral practices. Ruining peoples lives is neither ethical nor moral.

Bob