So here i am again.....for the past 5 years i have let fixed odds betting machines ruin my life.
This time yesterday i was a confident guy who was beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. 5 hours of pure madness has changed all that. I lost all my savings i had saved this past year and now i have nothing. I am not in debt but still have achieved nothing. I am employed but work is tough and obviously am going to stuggle with just basic day to day tasks after this relapse.
The pain and sickness i am feeling right now i wish i could harness and remind myself in future when i even think about gambling. I spent some time in councilling last year and really thought i was over this. I feel completely numb inside at what have i done.
I dont like counting days from when i last gambled as i kind of feel it builds up inside and almost becomes a reason to have a flutter, instead i want to just try and learn from it and move on however scared i am about the future, i suffer anxiety and worry about the smallest things which obviously effects me.
Fingers crossed i can start again.
Been there done that and relapsed again and again. FOBT's as you well know are highly addictive by nature. It's about taking small steps. Many people have been in your position and worse but have recovered their lives. You have to remain positive and keep trying.
I too have relapsed again and again. Remaining positive the more times you do this gets harder and harder i find but yes keep trying. Regret is one of that hardest things to overcome once we do these things.
Yes mate the guilt and regret of what you could've spent the money on. No matter how much I won it didn't matter, I still wanted to keep going and that invariably meant I lost the lot and more chasing. I realised that winning was pointless as it just fed my habit and kept me going!
Absolutely, I spent alot of time thinking about what to buy with savings and without buying anything i can in the space of an hour lose the lot, its frightening. You are absolutely right the fact we seem to want to keep going and not see an end to even the wins is why we lose. I think many times i won only because the bookies was closing or the casino was filling up with saturday night crowd and i was up.
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