Student Gambler

Hi Adam,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling but congratulations on facing up to the problem. I graduated about 3 years ago so I can understand your situation. Whilst I didn't gamble a huge amount at uni, it really does put a strain on things particularly given the shoestring budget you're on anyway as a student. So you're definitely doing the right thing before it gets worse - trust me when you start earning money these problems only get worse.

I would self exclude yourself from all the other bookies in the area to start with. Whilst it might be a bit awkward as you work in one, speak to your boss. They have a responsibility as your employer, particularly in such a sector, to look after your well being. I'd recommend coming clean to your parents - honesty is always the best policy. I've recently come clean to my old man and it was horrible, but he really was fantastic about it. I live about 2hrs away from him so just put all my thoughts down in an email then sent him a message asking him to read it and call me when he's ready. At the end of the day they are your parents and will want to help, even if they are a little surprised and disappointed.

Hope that might be of some use.

Hi Adam

I think you should tell your parents. I am a bit hypocritical on that front as I never told mine. However, I told my partner and the reason I would advocate telling someone is that, with me, it turned into a massive turning point. The two key things I did was to log on here and start a diary (and to generally read a lot on this site) and to tell my partner. That was in Feb 2013 and I haven't gambled since.

It was a really hard thing telling my partner, I was very nervous as I'd never told anyone before. We'd only been seeing each other for a year and I was worried that her view on me would fundamentally change for the worse. As it happens she was great about it. Its added another layer of security for me.

So assuming your parents are decent people and love you, which I'm sure they are and do, then you should definitely tell them. Just blurt it out, it doesn't really matter how it comes out. The great thing is that you have recognised this at a relatively young age so it need not plague your adult life too much.

Best of luck and let me know how you get on

Hello Adam,

If I were you, I would take my advice. I'm not usually so forthright but I think it's important you listen. I was in your position a few years ago. I'm 26 now and I still currently work in a betting shop. I started working there whilst at university and to be honest, it is easy money. We don't necessarily do much but eventually you fall into a pit. If you look at your colleagues they must feel the same with never ending dreams of a new, better job. When I started I had all these ideas that I would go on to bigger and better things but with leaving uni and not having a home to go back to I had to keep my job to pay my rent and bills. I've gambler near enough throughout, started off small like everyone else and turned to more and more, then less, then different ways of gambling. It wasn't to self destruct mode all of the time is go months with betting small but I was just feeding the habit but thinking I had it under control and was just doing it for a bit of fun. It was only when I won big that I turned to oblivion again. All I'm saying is, is that if I could turn back the time and got a job elsewhere then I would do. I could still change jobs now, but there's always something in the way of it. At the moment it's waiting on my shares maturing and I need the money. There is no real room for progression past manager and they aren't on much, so there's no point in looking in that direction. You may get lured into the easy money after finishing uni if you can't get your dream job, but as I said, you will fall into a pit. It's easy to stay as you can move to any location as more often than not there will be another bookies within your company that you can transfer to etc. We know that everyone loses but sometimes we do it because we have an interest in football/sport etc and try to make the shifts interesting so will put in a small bet. I would then get sucked in etc and be immersed by it all. I would say, in the long run, you should get a new job as soon as possible and put it in the past. It may be easy money and easy to catch up on uni work as it's hardly strenuous work, but long term, it will only cause you harm. I felt like I was going to set the world alight when I was your age, going to get the best job etc and now I've come down to earth with a thud, and working in a betting shop has been the main reason for that. It's taken away my confidence, it's out me in a rut etc, don't let it do it to you, Jez

Plus, self exclude as others have said from bookies, online and get gambling blockers. Tell your parents, and remind yourself that you don't want to do this is years to come when you have a partner etc and have the possibility to lie about your gambling, as you've kept it from your parents, you may eventually do it in worse scenarios, these are the things that can happen, Jez

Hi Adam,

Just a short little post from me,

I'm 21, I graduated last year from a University in Leeds, and gambled throughout University, routinely losing silly amounts of money during my time there. I hardly ever socialised as I would always lose any income I got before it had even reached my bank, and I'm in a position now where I am pretty lonely, have no real friends, and no recollection of 'fun times' whilst at Uni. I ended up graduating, but with a hefty bank loan as well as a sizeable pay day loan to my name.

But you are a wise lad. You have admitted you have got a problem at a really early and crucial time, and come to one of the best places for help. Please take the advice that is being given to you by the people above me. I have a recovery diary of my own which details my problem, but in short, I have always been too afraid to tell my parents as I had massive debts and did not want to be 'kicked out'. If you are in a position where you can do, please speak to a parent about the problem you are facing. It may also be worthwhile contacting Gamcare and arranging counselling sessions (they aren't anywhere near as daunting as they may seem, I've been having them for almost 10 months now, and they are really helping me), as well as possibly attending GA meetings if there are any near you (again, it may be daunting at first, I was a nervous wreck, but you will soon discover that you are in a room full of people that are experiencing the same problem, and can truely understand what you are going through, and give you some great advice).

Again, well done for reaching out to this forum, keep us up to date on how you are doing buddy, I'm looking out for you.

Best wishes,

-Ryan

Good advice from Ryan, I agree that you've done well to recognise it early. I did as well but continued. Thinking I could change my habits and it be ok etc.

As said, it can be daunting telling parent and going to counselling, but I highly recommend it. If you can't tell your parents then tell someone you trust implicitly, just so you don't have to deal with it by yourself. Counselling is great as there may be something deep down that has caused you to feel the need to win money etc. plus they will give you good advice to fight the urges etc. These are all reason to help but to bleet on, my main advice is to get a new job, other compulsive gamblers that haven't worked in the industry do no know what it's like. As you said, you see people lose and win, you know ultimately you won't win overall but continue to do it anyway, maybe out of boredom or because you would like extra money, you may say to yourself, 'I won't do it when I have a better job and have more money' but unfortunately the seed has been planted, I've seen so many customers that in some form or another have worked in a betting environment. And it's stuck with them until they were old. I've been where you are, I thought I could deal with it and get a new job etc but it's harder when you need the money etc. anyway, I've gone on enough but I can't stress it enough, get out whilst you can! Jez