Telling Work Colleagues

Hi dave.im 3 weeks gf and not yet told anyone at work.i feel ashamed and dont want people knowing my business.im just scared of the reaction and would rather not take the risk

Hi Dave :)) . 

Firstly congratulations on being gamble free since September buddy , great achievement my friend :)) 

In answer to your question I'm self employed so Billy no mates on the work colleagues and the work outing's can be a little quiet but I've spoken with may people , friend's and customers in my shop and occasionally betting and addiction has raised it's ugly face. 

I think people can obviously be suprised at such an admission of your past exploits but I've been equally taken aback by the fact that when you do share something that personal how they themselves open up about an episode in their life , it doesn't have to be gambling but I find most have had some issues at one time or another . 

To be honest I think it's how you feel about sharing ? , if your comfortable with letting others know then fine and equally you feel that shared knowledge won't harm you in any way ...well why not ? .

Maybe just judge the situation ? . 

For the first year or so of being gamble free , I told who I felt needed to know really then found a great feeling of strength from opening up > ........ Some will always be judgmental but that's their problem not your's really. :)) 

Take it  easy my friend 

Alan  

Alan,

Thanks for your reply and kind comment, I attend GA meetings so they are really helping with my recovery.

Yeah I work in a work place of about 150 people, but like you have said I think it will really help me people knowing as it does my head in when people call me tight because I don't buy a raffle ticket etc.

But I agree hopefully people will then open up to me as I know there are at least 4 others at work in my view have serious gambling addictions so hopefully if I admitted my addiction they will also and seek help like I have.

Dave 

One or two know as I needed a friend.other than that no it's my mess.

I have told one person, because I was at an all time low over my gambling and knew I had to tell someone. I chose one person in work and she has been brilliant, really trying to help, asking how I am, how I’m getting on etc. She hasn’t told anyone else and wouldn’t.

I don’t intend on telling anyone else though, it’s my business and no one needs to know as far as I am concerned with mine.

good luck x

Hi

I did not tell people  at work in case it affected my prospects for my future working life.

Sadly because of my low self worth and low self esteem when ever I was asked in to the office I assumed that I had done some thing wrong.

My boss once commented Dave why do you always assume you have done some thing wrong.

It was because of lack of my confidence that I was never sure of if what I did had any value.

This low self worth did not start in my working life.

It started because of redicule in my child hood.

Being in recovery for some time I now have a certain pride of myself.

I am not only willing to learn I am also willing to take on new challenges.

To try and learn new skills.

Before my recovery I use to wish my life away.

Now there are not enough hours in the day.

Being productive having my daily lists of my needs wants and of course my new goals in my life.

Helps me stay focused on new healthy habits.

There was a person who once said that he was glad he was a compulsive Gambler.

My instant reaction to his comments that he was a nut job.

Then he explained that if it was not for his addiction and the recovery program he would never have found out how unhealthy he was.

Not only that he found out that in his recovery he found out how much more he could do with life and his new healthy relationships.

It is very important to stick with like mined people who not only want to be healthier people but they also find new peeks in their new healthy skills and healthy challenges.

For certain being in the recovery program my work life became much easier and I was able to do the job with a much clearer mind.

My wording changed in my working life, no more of I have to do things, it was more about what is a healthy need thing or what was a healthy want to do thing.

I have to implied that my thinking was not healthy and that my thinking was obsessive.

I do hope that you take your recovery seriously.

You will get so much from your efforts in your recovery.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

No right or wrong answer here what ever you feel comfortable with. 

I kept it quite for the first few months but since then I tell anyone who wants to listen. I find it’s one of my biggest blocks. I used to lend money of people at work to gamble now they no I won’t ask, with my mates they all know if I’m out with them no way would they let me gamble. 

As u said it’s upto you I used to be ashamed of it but now I’m proud of what I’ve done to address it so no shame in telling people. 

KTF

Hi

My advice is that the work environment is not the right place to give out information about a gambling addiction or recovery.

This is because most people put their jobs first and that sort of information could be harmful to you. To some people it will be a warning sign that you were not in control. An obvious example is if you are a trusted keyholder at work or do any of the finances. You could be seen as a weak character and its ammo against you when things go wrong at work

Active gamblers dont want to hear about addiction and non gamblers will tend to think you have just been silly and greedy for money.Its information that can be used against you.

Its also a false environment in which some mates are not really mates when it boils down to it. Some will take the mickey because thats all they know how to do. 

So in my experience you can be open about it at GA meetings and with close family and friends. Its best to leave work out of that loop. Its not dishonesty...its just better to keep that sort of information private.

Best wishes

Agree with JD.

Confiding in colleagues leaves you open to all sorts. Where does the finger get pointed next time the till's short? It's a need to know basis IMO and colleagues/managers don't need to know. Mr L gets his support from GA. It's a safer space.

Hi

Your new found honesty will empower you and help you avoid being deceptive or dishonest.

What is done which is not healthy can not be unknown.

Please keep being honest with your self.

That kind of honesty empowers you.

Our honesty also helps reduce our fears.

By opening up and talking of our vulnerability helps us in many way.

By attending meetings you are saying I am no longer want to be unhealthy and self destructive.

By being in the recovery program you have every chance of saving your self any more pains.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham