The circle of addiction

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(@pontefract-pigeon)
Posts: 20
Topic starter
 

Imagine doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. That’s how betting feels to me.

Each week I feel like having a bet will be fun (deposit limits in place) but then win, lose or break even I get the same feeling of stress and guilt for betting. Fast forward a week and the same routine. 

I’ve used GamStop in the past and feel it’s time to put measures in place again. It’s not the financial side but more the amount of time I’m mentally distracted instead of enjoying being present with my family. 

But as many will know on this chat, the first step to put blocks in place is always the hardest. 

 
Posted : 8th April 2024 12:17 pm
(@j2nxf0khgl)
Posts: 24
 

Dear Pontefract pigeon, very recognizable for me! As if my mind keeps telling me 'you enjoy this, you like doing this, you should gamble, it's fun!'

But when I gamble there is that anxious en restless feeling, and then there are the losses and then there comes the sick feeling as well. 

 

 
Posted : 8th April 2024 5:13 pm
(@pontefract-pigeon)
Posts: 20
Topic starter
 

@j2nxf0khgl you have summed up my situation perfectly.

I also feel inner shame that I can’t control my urges. I would also never want to tell anyone that I have a problem. 

 
Posted : 8th April 2024 6:16 pm
(@j2nxf0khgl)
Posts: 24
 

I can totally relate. I feel shame, and also disappointed in my own 'not-being-able-to-control-my-urges'. Yes, disappointment is also there a lot towards myself when I gamble again. It seems as if I can't trust myself at this point.

About the urges. When I have lost a lot, I can feel a few days true hate towards gambling and not wanting to gamble. But then, after a few days, my thoughts go back to all stupid "happy" thoughts about it. It's terrible to fight against to. While I DO know the other feelings I have written above, the stress, restlessness and anxiety. 

 
Posted : 8th April 2024 7:05 pm
(@pontefract-pigeon)
Posts: 20
Topic starter
 

My first weekend gamble free in a long time.

Still felt anxious at times but believe that was the fears of not gambling. I’m sure the thoughts will become easier over time.

I will try to update this chat with how I get on. 

 
Posted : 22nd April 2024 7:16 am
(@j2nxf0khgl)
Posts: 24
 

Dear Pontefract pigeon,

How are you doing? Well done for not having gambled despite the anxious feelings that you have had! 

My day 1 again, and the struggle is really bad. I will have to cut this cycle again by not gambling.

Best wishes 

 
Posted : 26th April 2024 10:34 am
(@pontefract-pigeon)
Posts: 20
Topic starter
 

Hi xcharlotte, I had another week without gambling. So 14 days so far.

I had moments where I really wanted to gamble (even looking at betting websites) but stopped myself. 

I’ve still got a long way to go but one day at a time. 

Good luck with your journey 👍

 
Posted : 29th April 2024 8:07 am
(@j2nxf0khgl)
Posts: 24
 

@pontefract-pigeon very well done and congratulations, that's already over two weeks now for you!! 🙂 

I hope I can manage as well. All the best

 
Posted : 1st May 2024 12:37 pm
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