THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL...

Hi everyboby,

I'm back again after a long battle with my gambling demons.

For once I'm not here to pour my heart and soul out of desperation with suicidal feelings but strong and happier that i have been in a long time for the simple reason that since january 16th 2014 i haven't gambled since!

Many of you might think is a very little time to sing Victory and i surely agree as i know very well the evil of gambling..too well unfortunately!

Even though i haven't gambled for nearly 6 month and i will always be a gambler inside i decided 6 month ago that i do not want to be part of this sad word , made of isolation, tears and deception.

In December i was already broke inside and totally lost , after working so hard and spent every penny i worked for, i decided to run away in holiday and come back in January new. I went alone , two weeks with my thoughts a diary and my books.

i came back thinking i could have made it on my own.

i wrong was i????? The very same day of my return i gambled everything, my Christmas bonus, the money i didn't want to spend in Holiday thinking i was going to start saving again ( delusional) and my rent and everything in my account. This time i broke down , i broke down in so many levels that i felt i could only give up my life or give up gambling for good.

And so after telling my brother ( the only person close to me that knew my problem ) that i gambled again , i call Game care and booked an appointment.

i have try in the past to attend meetings but never realy went anywhere, i would stop and then start gambling again, never really committed to it.

This time was different, this time i wanted really to be helped ,but most of all this time i wanted gambling to go away .For my soul, but from my dreams and from my life.

It has been a long journey and i'm not gonna lie , it has been hard , coming at the meeting every single time and pour my heart to someone i never met in my life...they were long silences, buckets if tears , sad flash back and more than anything else eveytime i was going to the meeting i felt a little lighter.

i was always very sceptical about programs and rehabs, but slowly i start to understand the gap i was trying to void for so many years.

When my meeting came to an end i felt very happy and a bit sad .

The time flew, 6 months after i found myself like a new person ! i don't have anything to hide anymore, i managed to pay all my debts,and i saved lot of money, i have booked two holidays and i wake up free!

I haven't felt once the urge to gamble since i started my meetings , i think is due the determination i had this time. When i went last time i wasn't only sad but i was furious with the gambling industry ! i didnt want this evils to steal my money and my soul!

And i feel extremely happy to have gained my common sense back. I'm obviously terrified to made one simple mistake as it happened in the past , i do feel ever the need but i can promise u i'll try my very best to fight it if it ever comes back.

This post is for who thinks there is not way out, that is all lost and not light at the end.

THERE IS LIGHT!!! open your heart to someone you love, you don't have to make a big noise but opening is the first step, and honesty!

trying to win the money back is impossible! i can promise you that , i have spent years gambling my wages and my life with it!

Today I'm free and nothing taste like freedom! free to live my life to the full!

You are stronger than gambling and when you start to love yourself again you will look back and don't even understand to the fullest why u have done that to your soul! SEEK FOR HELP, COS WHEN U WANT TO BE HELPED , HELP ARRIVES IN EVERY SHAPE AND FORM!

I WANTED TO SAY GOOD LUCK , BUT I DO NOT WANT TO USE THIS WORD AGAIN IN MY LIFE AS I MAKE MY OWN LUCK!

WISH U A GOOD LIFE!