I knew I was heading for a final fall after spending more and more time on fruit machines and live poker lately.....i won a lttle bit here and a little bit there and thought I was fine but deep down I knew there would be a day where I was in the wrong frame of mind and in the wrong place with access to cash. So today I went out and spent ninety five pounds solely on a fruit machine...i could have spent more I could have spent less and now and in the future I hope I can spend none. I never usually chase a loss but today I did. I finally think its the last straw. Ive been on here two years and have put some vital blocks in place however if I have cash theres allways an outlet in a pub to fritter away cash. So I start again as usual very low and desperate to right my wrongs. I'll hand over my finances to my parents again and give myself limited cash to spend. So plan one work fourteen days in a row starting Monday to earn extra money to pay back what I owe. Ive had many words of encouragement and many words of critism over the two years but I've tried my best and this is a very difficult thing to beat.. So the plan is join sense program for self exclusion from all casinos.... The I'm excluded from everything apart from pubs. Then hand over all money each month to parents... It will take two months to get back on track financially and I will then feel better about myself....
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So I've read some diarys tonight and can see some similarities there... What's come across is the advice that's given is very good its motivating, harsh but fair at times but allways true. Its not the people that struggle like myself don't take the advice on board its just that gambling takes many forms and to beat it is not only difficult but a life long journey that never ends. One diary stood out as they had been doing it for longer than me, I truly want to see a change , ive been on here two years so id like to see a positive two years again. I cant gamble online, I cant gamble in bookmakers, next ill join the sense scheme for casinos and only go to pubs with friends as when I'm on my own I allways gamble
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Ad, you know all the advice...You can figure this out but you prob need outside support from somewhere.
Find a way, dont throw anymore of your life away.
Adam
You know the score so am i going to give you one piece of advice.
Dont look too far into the future. As it says above. One day at a time.
Beat wishes
Thanks for the advice most welcome. Here I am on day one
, done a hell of a lot of thinking yesterday and I think I need to keep it simple over the next week, simply stay in and not gamble
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