So today i walk into bet fred with £80 within half an hour i was up to £1074 on roulette, doing 5 6 7 8 9 10 pound numbers, i was on a high! So thought i would use, the £74 and get out. But that never happened, i lost the lot and walked out with nothing, i just could not stop!! Im devastated lol, last week i done similar, won £700 online, banked it... As soon as that cash hit my account 2 days later, i lost it all!! Why can't i take these decent wins!!? I used to take decent wins like that and put the money to good use, but since my brother comitted suicide its like i dont care anymore and keep chasing that feeling of euphoria, that feeling when the ball lands in your number makes you forget about all your problems, now im not in any major debt or anything like that but my stakes are going up and basically all i think about is winning money, as soon as i get payed i can't wait to bet... I try to set limits but i can't stick to it ffs, if i lose the money i set as a limit, i chase... My gf dont know the half of it, neither do my parents, i hate being weak...
Hi Anton
I read your post and saw the lol comment, it confused me. Then I read about your brothers suicide
which is heartbreaking to read and what you describe is escapism gambling.
Can you talk to someone close about what you are doing to gather some support
in what is a a very dangerous field to be playing in.
You are not weak, the trauma of what has happened I would think that counselling would be
advantageous to you.
Dont hide, keep posting. My heart goes out to you
i have done this so many times aswell mate its an unbeliavble feeling when the ball lands on your number that high is nothing better but i also could never print a receipt or would blow the winnings the day after and the guilt kicks in and the lows last much longer than the highs sorry to hear about your brother
Thanks for the replys people, im still sick about the loss but have talked to my gf about it and have agreed to try harder to set limits, im not ready to stop, but think i can be strong, set limits and learn from these mistakes i keep making!
Hi Anton
It becomes about escape and something to hide behind. Its complex but the process of playing becomes what drives you and not the money. I fully understand as Ive been unable to leave despite thinking time to go now. I was playing for the highs and the lows...any emotion but the numb feeling of walking round town or sitting in my flat
You need to be fully aware that you may think you can put a small amount in but it will grip you again and again. It will grip you at any time when you are least expecting it. You need to talk to your girlfiend again and have some blocking measures while she controls the finances.
Youve been honest in that you are not ready to stop. However you may think you can exercise control until the next time youve cleaned your bank balance out or got a pay day loan and gambled that away.
I will just say at this stage that you must not be complacent that it all stops with a click of the fingers. Its a mind confusion zone you see. You will trigger at the thought of previous takings and at the same time your mind is thinking play play play because it likes the chemical feelings and zoning out.
Its all sorts of things including a cry for help. I was making no sense of life and life was getting me down. I wasnt seeing things clearly and I will be deadly honest in that I havent seen things clearly for 40 years. Your recent bad news will have triggered depression in you which is quite natural. gambling is not an escape from those feelings though and just makes everything worse
Being gamble free allowed me to face myself. It can be scary and enlightening at the same time. I had been in cloud cuckoo land the way I saw work and relationships. I have now focused on the real issues and no matter what happens I needed to focus on the real issues in my life.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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