Hi all,
I have made the decision today to stop gambling and I am very worried I will not be able to do it alone. I am not able to tell friends or family so have decided to join this forum in the hope that it will help me with this process.
Here is the background:
I started gambling online by playing instant win games on the lottery website. Then i moved onto online slots. that was about 9 years ago and it's got steadily worse since. I am truely at an all time low today and I hate writing what I am about to write as I am so very ashamed of what i've done I can barely say it but here goes...... My grandad died and he left me some money. I used it to pay off all my credit card and pay day loan debts which were pretty much all down to gambling online. I was then left with enough to pay off my overdraft and have £1000 in savings. As of today, a week later, I have lost the whole £1000 in savings and spent £750 of my overdraft. I am disgusted with myself. I have now followed instructions on websites and excluded myself from every website I can think of without the option to reopen accounts.
The problem is I live on my own and I am so in the habit of coming home from work and playing slots while I watch TV etc. I don't really go out and do anything else! I am now going to try and think of some things I can enjoy doing with my time to keep my mind away from gambling. I really hope things get better. I have worked out I will now need to live on a very small budget in order to 'pay back' the money I have lost and reinstate the legacy my grandad left.
I know there are lots of you out there in similar positions and I hope that there is some support out there. I know what i've done is terrible and I hope you all won't judge me too harshly. I just so desperately want to stop. I'm sick of borrowing money, not having enough to go out and do anything or buy groceries. It's just not a life I want to lead anymore. well, it's not a life I can keep living! It's pathetic at my age to have to rely on other people.
Any suggestions on how I can move forward from this point would be greatfully appreciated. Thank you so much in advance.
For what it's worth you're not alone izzym. I did exactly the same thing back in 2009. My nan died and left me some money, not a huge amount of money, but she was never rich. I got the money and spunked it on roulette the evening of her funeral. Of course I lost.
That did a number on my head more than gambling 100x my own money.
But I got over it. I remembered that my Nan loved me and would understand my weakness. I promised her I'd never do it again. But I did about three times more before I reached such a personal all-time low that I knew I had to stop or risk losing my self respect. Money comes and comes - but there comes a point where if you lose your self respect then you're really in trouble.
I reached that point.
Now, each time I get the trigger urge to gamble I remember that.
It doesn't always work but 99% of the time since 2009 it has. I'd recommed earning some money from hard work then buying a watch or ring or something, anything that reminds you of your granddad, then using it as a aide memoire to remind you next time you feel an urge.
Best wishes,
Mx
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