We CAN and we WILL - Join the 100 day and 2017 Challenges!

[Please refer to next post - duplicated]

Thank you Change. As our most successful member, that means a lot.

Actually, it reminds me. When I was a kid, along with football stickers, and marbles, conkers was the game to play. If you won a game, your conker would add to its total the sum of all the conkers the one you had beaten had won. If you lost, your conker went down to 0 - disastrous.

This is the same. You are on Day 153 - am I right? - Change, so your 'conker' is up to 153.

Let's all get our conkers nice and high!

Trust me... I am not successful in this battle. I am one day away and have been on that day many many times. I'm a novice. I just pray that I can get over this addiction. I've always wanted to follow recovery with a group of others but i've let so many others down along the way that they have passed me and move on to better place while I remain struggling. I really like your approach. You'll come across negativity but what i like is that you take it in your stride... it's sad but it's life. Stick with what you're doing and if I can stick with you I'll be all the better for it. Loves

Change wrote:

Trust me... I am not successful in this battle. I am one day away and have been on that day many many times. I'm a novice. I just pray that I can get over this addiction. I've always wanted to follow recovery with a group of others but i've let so many others down along the way that they have passed me and move on to better place while I remain struggling. I really like your approach. You'll come across negativity but what i like is that you take it in your stride... it's sad but it's life. Stick with what you're doing and if I can stick with you I'll be all the better for it. Loves

Change, thank you for this. We are all acutely aware we are one day from disaster. But we are not going to buckle. Yes it's tough, tell me, tell all of us about it. But this is different somehow, isn't it. A group all rallying behind each other. This is different, Change. We are all behind you! And do NOT want to see your conker down to 0. EVER.

P.S. I dont care if I come across negatively. Couldn't give a rats chuff. Truly; I know you can tell. We are results driven - whatever it takes, as far as we are concerned!

You're blazing the trail Mixer!

On a side note... please elaborate on the username of Mixer? Are you in the cement game?

No, not into cement lol! Let's just say I shake things up a bit, whatever I do 🙂

Strength in numbers my friends....strength in numbers!

M x

WCAWW

YES, SC, exactly 🙂 WCAWW

Morning,

Negativity not intended but do you all have your time money location triangles habitually broken? Barriers alone aren't the answer but they help ride out the urge. They're tools, they make up few threads in a thick rope. As do positivity and mutual support.

Long term, it's about stirring the deeps, looking at what was wrong that gambling seemed to make better and looking at personal growth and maturity. IMO, there's no substitute for counselling and GA.

You might use the mutual support to help with the more difficult things that really do make the difference. At least, they have in our family.

Wish you well,

CW

Hi CW,

Thank you; you are right to remind us that for us to stay at our destination requires not only determination from ourselves and on this forum, but other tools too.

I fully subscribe to the simple and very effective triangle model.

And in case anyone on here isn't aware of it, here it is.

Gambling requires three things to happen. Time to do it, money to spend on it, and an opportunity, e.g. A computer, bookies in proximity etc.

Take away one of these and the triangle collapses and you can't gamble!

I apologise to everyone who knows about this already, but some might not know and it's always worth repeating.

I couldn't agree more about the counselling that's provided by the Gamcare or the GA. I myself am undergoing my first sessions (yesterday completed No.2 of 13).

Without betraying confidences,my counsellor has given me notice that the hard work is really going to begin now as she starts to dig deep, as you've said CW, and work out precisely why I've been doing this destructive folly for so long.

As you rightly say CW, the counselling is about getting into our skin and helping us to gain that self-awareness to cast this devil out.

I implore everyone in our group, any one reading this,to take the extra steps and attend a GA meeting or counselling organised by Gamcare.

To keep us at our destination make require us to seek the extra support we need. Even if we think we've cracked this, it well worth a conselling top-up.

Don't feel it's a weakness to seek out the extra support; actually, it's a sign of strength.

Here's a thought.

Sometimes, gambling takes advantage of our immaturity. What, you may be thinking. I mean, I'm 47, for example. Am I immature?

In some ways, I believe I am. Let's take a step back. I mean, I've been deceiving my partner and acting irrationally because of gambling. Seriously, how immature is that?

If we all stick together, seek help when we need it, we will emerge as better, more mature citizens, friends, partners.

The upsides for not gambling, choosing life over misery, are plentiful!

Sorry my post has rambled somewhat and thank you CW for the inspiration.

Hi CW, I am working on the money. I live alone, so am responsible for my own finances, but have separated my accounts, so salary and bills all come out of one account. In another I make a transfer for weekly spends, have set up a standing order. A friend has access to my statements. I no longer carry my debit cards. I limit cash in my purse to £50. I know that I have been using both medication and slots to stop me feeling....unfortunately they have numbed not only the bad, but good feelings too. Day 8 today, and determined to maintain control.

Hi Rhoda,

You are dong great, removing one of the sides of the triangle. Yes, I agree this is emotionally tough. But stick with it. And don't be afraid to seek out the extra help that is but a phone call away.

Confessing gambling to partners, family and friends can feel emasculating or weak.

However, done in the right way, in the right spirit, with a pathway of solutions in place, can actually make it empowering.

Just a thought, and Rhoda, you have empowered yourself to do something about this.

Hi Rhoda

How about transferring any excess into a notice savings account so you can't get your hands on it immediately? I have read that this can be an effective strategy for those who have to handle their own finances.

7 days gambling free! Not missing the overwhelming sickly presence of gambling in my life. Hope everyone else doing good 🙂 keep it up everyone!

Wcaww

I'm in the early days after a relapse and I personally don't want, need nor deserve an arm around me.

I appreciate the support, but I'm far beyond the softly softly approach!

I have binges. It's been going on years. Less and less frequently so in the past 4/5 years. I wouldn't say that I crave gambling at all any more. Haven't for a long time, but suddenly, seemingly out of the blue I'll get that little itch, and voice in my head telling me it'll be okay, it's a good idea and might be fun. And if I've consumed a bit too much booze and I'm feeling low or even just bored, I can allow my guard down and I succumb to it.

So far on recovery I managed almost two years, then just a couple of months and most recently I was almost looking to that year mark again before I messed up.

All the encouragement I get early on, although greatly appreciated can feel like a bit of a slap in the face. It reminds me of what achievements I threw away. All for one night of online bingo. That I actually enjoyed for the first hour or so. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did really enjoy it to begin with. Until reality of what I was doing set in.

Saying that, in my early days of deciding to attempt recovery, and I had some very distraught days back then, all the support and love and encouragement was invaluable.

We should be as supporting and as kind as we can be, at least until we know a bit more about one another's personal situations.

Now you know a bit about mine, feel free to be a tad more harsh with me please 😉

Keep chatting to me to keep me here and be there to celebrate those milestones together xxx