What made you start gambling after abstaining

For me its frustration with life, feeling stuck, as if am powerless to make any changes. Its not dealing with the underlying issues that led to the gambling in the first place. I think we lose control when we gamble on our emotions ie if I gamble when am tired, bored, angry or lonely.. whats the motivation to stop the act of gambling because those feelings just return with avengence once I stop.

The hard work of recovery is coming to terms with ones self and ones life situation and being able to cope without taking the edge off with gambling or any other addictive behaviour for that matter. It is not easy and thats why I (for example) can and have gone for a year or two gamble free and then gambled again. Gambling for me is the default escape.

Leroy... ive been suicidal before because of my gambling... in my experience those feelings pass quite quickly as a bit of gamble free time passes. Don't do anything daft... life can stop getting worse.

Regards to all... S.A

Hi Bluebella (all)

Thank you for starting an interesting thread. Lapses and Relapses are very common in recovery, so it's good to see you all sharing your thoughts.

We have also noticed the area of Suicide has come up in the posts. Either through past attempts or thoughts and feelings. If you are feeling Suicidal it's important you get as much help as possible. Please see a couple of links below where help is available:

http://www.samaritans.org/

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx

Leroy, as well as using the links above, you may find it helpful to contact the National Gambling HelpLine 0808 8020 133 or using the NetLine, where you can share with a GamCare Adviser. This can be a good starting point in your recovery.

Best regards

Forum Admin

For me struggling with real life,the fact the kids need money for one thing or another,the wife making plans,which is what life's about,I can't deal with it,my escape and trying to take the easy way out

Have to agree i lost thousands online but would never of went into the bookies and placed those bets....

I agree with all the posts about gambling online. When you are not handing over "real" money or receiving a stack of chips, it feels like a game and the number on the screen almost becomes meaningless. I would like to think I would never be able to hand over hundreds of pounds in a casino or in a bookies, but many a night I deposited hundreds in an online casino using my bank card/credit card. It's far too easy.

I don't even remember when or why I started again. I remember telling all my family and friends that I was addicted to gambling, saying I'd given up, I went for a period of time where I didn't gamble, I honestly can't remember when I started again. I don't remember how long I stopped for.

All I know, is that I can pinpoint moments when I felt absolutely worthless, moments when I had gambled away all my winnings, I can also pinpoint moments of elation when I'd won, but couldn't tell anyone about it. Life as a secret gambler is no life at all, we all know the gamblers that smugly share their winning bets on facebook or gloat about it on a night out. But they never tell you when they've lost a weeks wages in an hour!

Huskydawg wrote:

For me it is a combination of forgetting over time how distraught gambling makes me feel and triggers pushing me off the wagon. Time is a great healer but sometimes it's good to remember how negative and destructive gambling can make you feel.

hi all , been to GA but new to game care , been reading all your comments weith great interst and can relate to most apart from sucicide as life goes on lot people all round the world suffering , leaset we in a good country in relation to welfare and jobs and i suppose the key is making sure rent/mortgage and important bills paid straight away if you worried the demons are close , i gamble more or less all the time , agree with the online comments regarding accessibilty but the real destruction occurs on Fixed odds roulette in bookies , there so so addictive if your loosingf i seem to be able to walk away if i have a half decent win but the chase just to be evens can cost £100s , i lost £140 last night and felt awful all night and day , reciting in my head , all the time why ?? i really need this money as get paid next week why ? and my gf and 8 week baby need milk and nappies w*f is wrong with me , i got a decent job i enjoy really , flat , gf and baby and even though far from rich have money in pocket to do what i want , so why would i want to waste it all and feel horrible ? yh ok i can borrow bits to get by to pay day , but pay day loads of "" wager money surely a little go , but u just can,t stop last month did £450 and luckily on these occasion walked out from last £20 with £400 , felt like a win even though i lost £50 , crazy emotions i can,t control , please help and share

joe

when i go in the bookies,sometimes i think "i'll end up £300 down by the time i walk out of here" the idea of that seems crazy to me and i go in. i then start betting,win some lose some. then i start betting bigger,chasing. then my loses are bigger and over a period of a couple of hours i go to the cashpoint,drawing a hundred a time. then i walk home devastated,muttering to myself. angry with my family for nothing,or should i say for my own failings. i was never like this and i loathe myself.

i'll by reduced stuff in the supermarket like it matters then blow a couple of hundred in the bookies forgetting the value of money.

Yes, forgetting the value of money seems to be very common. A lot of people on here report resisting spending money on themselves, but quite easily throw away hundreds/thousands on betting.

its really crazy aint it , not funny though but so true , im always looking for a bargain in retail or my bills but when comes to betting the money always ready to load , its the chasing of losses that switching the brain i think and tricks it into thinking if its possible it can happen , and then that v quickly turns into desperation which is v expensive

be brave all

I think for me it is a combination of things. I have never stopped gambling completely. I have stopped online games and bookies, but always done the lottery (which is done by Direct Debit so I dont get tempted to put more on) and when I had software on my pc just one bingo site was allowed with a low limit so I could play with my friends. We used to visit bingo halls but I spent so much there that this was a safer option.

Depression usually makes me start again, and the worst thing for me is winning. I can go months having a £5 deposit limit on just one site and be happy with that, then I win, so I increase the limit and before I know it I am back to playing multiple sites and losing more money than I can afford to lose. When I am in 'the zone' I don't see the implications of what I am doing, I justify it anyway I can and then after I have lost I feel extreme guilt and seem to find fault in everything around me.

I just want the self-control to stop chasing the fortune that I am never going to win. The strangest thing is, from the lottery or an accumulator bet you can win large amounts, but the most you can really win from slots is minimal, yet I spend so much more on those. I do enjoy playing them, but once I play one, I am hooked again for how ever long it takes me to realise I need to stop again, come on here and refresh my thoughts with how bad it is.

*sigh*