Having gambled for 30 years of my life I would hate to see on paper what amount I have actually lost, at the age of 15 i was chucked out the family home due to stealing off my parents to gamble. Back then it was 10p a spin and if you won the jackpot you got ВЈ4.80 in tokens. I left school at 15 and straight in to employment and all my wages went on gambling, I'm 43 now and still all my spare cash goes on gambling. Although I was addicted to gambling I still managed to buy a property, this was before the property boom so i was able to get a flat extremely cheap compared to today's market. During the time I had a mortgage I had my gambling under control as it was either gambling or homeless, I still had a small bet on the horses but nothing out of control what I couldn't afford. After a few years the property boom came in to play and I also met someone I loved, after 2 years seeing her I decided to sell up and move to a new city to be with her, I made a ВЈ36,000 profit on my flat and needless to say this was when I found online gambling and ВЈ1-2 per spin machines in arcades. I got through that ВЈ36,000 in 10 months and I've been heavily hooked to online gambling since. I'm at a point now where Ive had enough, I built up the courage to look at what I've spent this month alone on gambling and it was a scary ВЈ2000, this is by no means usually as high as that but more in the region if £300-500 per month but even so that over the year is a disgusting amount of cash with nothing to show for it. As I said I'm at the point where I truly believe I'm done with it and hopefully with the support of everyone on here and reading what everyone else is going through I can beat this horrible infliction. To those who have had a problem for only a few years. get it sorted now and don't become what I have and thats an addict for 30 years of an addiction that will take everything and give nothing back.
Ok, you've had a pretty long gambling "career". But you're 43 not 93 and you have choices. If you don't gamble today, if you break the triangle effectively and close all loopholes, if you go to GA today, then you'll become a gambler in recovery. ODAAT, you can do something for a few hours that would appal you if you had to keep it up for a lifetime.
CW
We split up last year mate and she now lives a 3 hour drive away and taken my son. I'm now still in the city where I moved to to be with her while all my family live else where. Im in this on my own so hopefully being on here will be the support I need and i do feel even writing in these forums is a weight off my shoulders.
Cynical wife wrote:
Ok, you've had a pretty long gambling "career". But you're 43 not 93 and you have choices. If you don't gamble today, if you break the triangle effectively and close all loopholes, if you go to GA today, then you'll become a gambler in recovery. ODAAT, you can do something for a few hours that would appal you if you had to keep it up for a lifetime.
CW
what about Gamblers Anonymous that CW mentioned? given it any thought?
I don't know if I could tbh, I have thought about counselling or even hypnotherapy but the thought of being in a room full of ppl scares the #### out of me
Counselling is good. Gamcare can provide 12 sessions free. Perhaps during counselling GA can also be considered.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain
Nothing to to be fearful by going to GA, everyone in that room has been where now at one point or another. its a room full of likeminded people who will pass no judgement just offer support. when you said it scared me it remined me of this,
FEAR
f *** Everything And Run. or
face Everything And Recover
The choice Is yours
I'd echo the sentiments above about GA. Give it a go, nothing gained nothing ventured. I'm pretty confident you'll feel better after your first meeting.
In relation to living 3 hours away from your son, that must be really difficult. I have a young son myself (and split from my partner) but he lives close by and we see eachother regularly (although not as much as I'd like). I can only imagine having that distance between us so I can sympathise in that respect.
Make the change for you and your son. Get all the help and support you can to aid in your recovery.
All the best
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