Why oh why

Really stressful day in work. No intention of gambling to stress relieve.

Hi

Try to ease that stress and work on making you feel calmer. Does work stress you too much and if so bring that up in counselling with a doctor. Sometimes our lives are just too stressed and I know that stress and depression was a major trigger for me

Its deep within your soul that needs healing. Its working on things that might be bringing you down in life Healthy living and positive goals. Saving for a nice relaxing holiday and things like this.

I know you can do it, This forum is good for you.

Best wishes

Thanks Joy. It really helps to have your support.

I still haven't recovered from the relapse. Still very angry with myself and very despondent about the future.

I have my telephone counselling assessment on Wednesday. Hopefully it will be able to help me.

I hope things are ok with you Imuzbmad and things work out on Wednesday, I try to forget about the money I've lost its in the past and we have to let that go and try to move on.

I know it's easier said than done.

I'm currently counting down the days to a holiday nothing amazing but it gives me something to look forward to good advice from Joy above. I feel such a fraud trying to give advice after my years of failed attempts to quit but I think taking it one step and one day at a time really is the best way.

You're in my thoughts.

Daz

Imuzbmad - how you doing this weekend? Keep strong it will be worth it in the long run

Thanks Daz and Chips.

I'm trying to let the loss go but having a hard time doing so.

Our bathroom sink pipe work has broken and need a plumber to fix it. If I hadn't have thrown away £1000 it would be manageable but now it is a struggle to find the money. I'm still waking up in a panic and with the first thoughts being "w*f was I thinking and what the hell is wrong with me".

I have the week off work and am not sure what I will do but maybe will get out on my bike if the weather's nice.

After all these years of battling this addiction and despite the fact that I know that I am a cg, I find it very hard to accept it and that I will have to fight this addiction for the rest of my life.

On a positive note; I am going to see Josh Groban tonight with my daughter. Really looking forward to it.

Perhaps it's about learning a new and improved way of life? Sounds better than a daily fight.

CW

Regrets, regrets.

Totted up my finances for the month and the full realisation has hit me of the damage I have done, again.

I will use the self disgust to keep me gamble free but, if I'm honest, I don't feel that I am able to control this addiction in the long term, which saddens and depresses me. I've failed too many times over all these years. Sorry to be so negative but it is how I feel right now.

Waiting to start my telephone counselling, hopeful that it will help.

Felt strong enough so I have just spent the last hour opening and self excluding from all sites I could find.

Boy that tested my resolve and I will admit I almost caved a few times but didn't. A bit risky, I know, but it's done now.

Hello again, well done on self excluding I know how difficult it can be having self excluded from dozens of sites over the years. That was a real problem for me as there were always more opening up and I always had the option to join another until my wifi fix. I just wanted to wish you luck with the counselling and I really hope you stay strong, I'm a much happier person when I'm not spending entire days watching silly flashing symbols on my iPad....seems crazy to those that don't understand but it really is like a drug. I know I mentioned it before and how tough it is but you have to forget the loses and start again, I'm guessing but I've probably lost over 50k in the last 3 years and that's hard to take but I'm slowly getting things sorted and I'm sure you can as well.

All the best Daz

Thank you so much Daz, I really appreciate your support and to know that someone really understands how it is tolive with this dreadful addiction. Best wishes. X

Feeling stronger today and a bit more hopeful.

Was due to meet 3 friends from Uni for lunch today. I didn't go, saying that I was unwell. Couldn't face them. My self esteem is so low. Too fat , living In a horrible house, a cg with no money. I know that people only tell you what they want you to hear but I always feel terrible when I've been with them. Don't need that right now.

I'm hopeless at this. Had an email from a slot site that I hadn't excluded from (it's impossible to find them all). Managed some control in that I put a deposit limit on straight away but did deposit and, of course lose, £10. To self exclude from the site you have to email them and this would take time to be put in place. I think all sites should have a link to self exclude immediately.

Not feeling very hopeful of me beating this addiction.