Hi all i'm darren. Here is my story. These last few years i have had a problem with betting. I went through a rough perido in my life when i lost my mum and dad over the last few years. I went into deep depression and i have always suffered with anxiety since i was the age of 10-11 years old. Anyway.. I have always loved sport and football and these last few years i have found betting gave me some joy in my life and some escape from my problems. I never been one to go out drinking and having fun and letting my hair down and my favourite thing to do is have a bet. I love betting on football and only football, but i went through a stage of lumping £400 - 500 on online betting and i won at first but then i got greedy and lost it all and i felt so low and i couldn't eat and i just went to bed and slept to get away from the feeling. Anyway... The reason i'm here? Yesterday (27th march) after a long period without betting and feeling good about myself, i received a bit of money after i sadly lost someone in my family. Not a lot of money but a few grand. I never really have much money in general as i don't work because of depression and anxiety and i thought here was an opportunity to bet and make some money and make life a bit easier for the next few months. Anyway i bet on some cricket game and i know nothing about that sport and i just bet on reputation of the teams. I was bored and i wanted to bet because i had a large sum of money to bet with and i thought i will make a quick buck and happy days and it makes a change from being skint. Like i said, i only normally bet on football. I bet £2500 and lost the whole lot! I feel like absolute c**P and now the money has gone i can't help but think what i could of spent that money on. New clothes or a phone that i need, but instead i blew it all on betting. That is the most i've ever lost on a bet and now i feel so low and to top it off i got that money because someone in my family died. How sad am i? I feel like s**m. I never have any money to do stuff or to go out with mates or buy clothes and when i do have some money i blow it on betting. Any money i have it goes on bets. Not big bets of £400-500 but it all adds up and i would say i bet around £10 every other day if im on a losing streak. I say to myself just another tenner and then that's it but it never happens. I spend around £20-£30 a week on betting and that is not loads compared to other people but when i have no money as it is, i'm not helping myself spending 20-30 a week. Another thing for me is virtual money. I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but if you put £100 in real money in notes in my hand i would pocket it no problem and spend it on something for myself as a treat. If i have £100 in my bet account online i find it difficult to bank any of that money. I say to myself i am just a 1 click away from making more money. It really is the devil this online betting, but i can't control the urge. I get a buzz out of betting even if i'm just betting 50p. Betting gives me a buzz. Someone of you are probably reading this and saying well del ete your betting account online then! If i do that i will just open up another one on another website. There are 100s online to sign up with. I won't ever stop betting but i want to stop lumping big money on bets even though i only lump every now and then. This feeling i have now after losing £2500 has made so low and i can't get away from this feeling. I know it's fresh in my head as it only happened yesterday but already i'm saying to myself i want to get that money back BUT i won't be lumping to try and win it back. I will just have to make tiny profits and build up my pot over the next few weeks providing i kep winning my bets. You see what i'm doing here?.. I have come on to a gambling problem website to want to stop my gambling, but like i said, i won't be able to stop all together. I just want to get it under control and enjoy a fun bet every now and then and not spend silly money and blow it all. Sorry if i'm not helping others as you are reading this. I'm just being honest and hopefully you can all give me some advice. I'm scared i will lump silly amounts again and lose it, when i need that money to pay for bills and live in general 🙁 I am not any debts so that is good. I will go weeks and weeks without betting silly money but there will be a next time and that is what i'm scared of. This is a horrible feeling and i don't want to visit this horrible feeling in the furture 🙁 I tell myself remember this horrible feeling now? You don't want to experience this again do you??? THEN STOP LUMPING YOU IDIOT!!! But then i see some football games and think that is easy money to make and then i lump money on a bet and i will either win money but i don't end up banking it anyway and i will put it on another bet and lose the money or i will it and lose the bet in first place. I will always lose in the long run but i won't learn 🙁 I need help..Like i said, if i can limit myself to enjoying a bet without worrying about losing it then that would be great. I don't think i will ever stop betting but if i could set myself £5 a week that i can afford and if i lose that money it's not going to make me lose sleep and worry for the next few weeks. It's this stupid lumping that i need to stop!! I just want to have a fun bet and not bet and make me worry about losing it. Anyway sorry to go on. Hope we can all help eachother 🙂 I have been 100% honest and like i said, i don't think i will be able to give up betting totally.
sorry to hear about your recent lapse-i have recently lapse too and could do with some support too-try not to worry about the money when all said and done its gone and you must concentrate on feeling better and you will again -get them blocks back in place and avoid temptation-take each day as it comes
Hello Darren
Welcome to the forum.
You highlight a lot of reasons why you gamble - depression, anxiety, escapism, the buzz, boredom and an unhelpful passion for betting. All very common, it's a good start knowing why you bet - you know what you need to work on.
I respect your desire to want to continue gambling; I share it, but don't think it's the best way to go about things.
In your own words: "I will go weeks and weeks without betting silly money but there will be a next time...", "I will always lose in the long run...".
All you will end up doing is putting off the inevitable. You might stretch it out for months instead of weeks, but the big bet will come. If you're willing to bet £2500 on something you know nothing about, then you don't need me to tell you that you have a serious problem.
It requires serious action.
If your aim is to just reduce the stakes to a manageable level then your best course of action would be to hand over complete control of your finances to someone who will be strict and limit you to £5 a week.
You probably don't want to read it or believe it, but if you accept and work on the underlying reasons why you gamble, then in time - difficult as it will be - your future can be unimaginably different.
Either way you have to make changes or you will end up doing the same thing.
Look forward to following your progress.
Best wishes
Glint
Sorry but I think you are beyond the "£5 fun bet" stage forever. Can't you live without it? You did once before. While you are still gambling then the taste for it will never go away and inevitably the big bets will happen again because you don't have the self-control to say no. That isn't a weakness, just the reality of the situation.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
I note part of your diary title as "and I need help".
The help i would advise is to take steps to stop gambling completely. Now i could reel off many ways for this to happen but you still want a punt because you are addicted to the buzz gambling gives.
Have a read through some diarys on here. Abstain and maintain, triangles recovery, life begins again and my life with addiction.
The authors of these have been here for a long time and these diarys can provide you with great guidance.
Please dont kid yourself that you can manage with a few small bets. 99.999999% of us know that wont work.
I wish you well
I feel for you mate but the truth is, its all or nothing for a compulsive gambler that is why we are compulsive gamblers, you can't and wont win because you can't stop, simple as that
Ask yourself do you want to carry on doing what you are doing or take control of your life and change it ? if you do, then its a case of not gambling at all mate, get to a GA meeting ASAP or nothing will change and as low as you are now..there is always lower to go..don't go there
Get help..proper help
Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback. I have read all of your comments and i will take it all on board. I will read your comments over and over again and i will make sure i take it all in. Here is my problem. I absolutely love football and it is my life. When i look through the games i think because i know my football i think i can win some money. But hey... I just lost 2500 on a game of poxy cricket so i am contradicting myself already. I just like a bet in general is seems. So here is where i'm at.. I read all of your comments and i think you are right. If i say to myself i will stick to £5 a week, that is all well and for the first few weeks and months, but at some point when i switch off i just know i will end up going silly with my betting. Even if it's just one time in 2-3 months... I don't want to go back to how i am feeling right now after blowing 2500. I need help and i am going to get help. I have spoken to a few friends and they all support me. They tell me straight down the line and they don't mix their words. They tell me how we have these same coversations every few months about me blowing money on gambling and how low i feel and then i just go and do it again and again and again. They get fed up telling me i have a problem and i need help. They tell me i need help all the time but up this this point i have never listend to them. They say to me all the money i have lost on gambling could of been spent on myself and had something to show for it. They tell me how disapointed my parents would be if they were alive today seeing me spend some of their money i got when they passed away and blowing it on gambling. I know this! I feel like s**t i really do! I wish i could just stop it right now!! I have a phone number to ring in the morning that will put me through to speaking to someone who will point me in the right direction. It's the first small step. I know i have a long road ahead but if i had my way right now i would stop betting all together and not want to just spend £5 a week. It really brings me down and runs my life on a day to day basis. I need to find something to replace the buzz i get from betting. I go for 1 hour jogs 4-5 times a week and i love it. It clears my mind and it helps me a lot but i need more than that. Thing is.. Some people enjoy spending their money on going to pubs and clubs and drinking and some people like smoking f**s or both, i like to spend my money on betting. I am determined to stop betting but i just don't know the way to go about it... It's not a simple as just stop and delete all of my betting accounts and don't walk in to a bookies shop. Or is it that simple? Anyway... Like i said.. I'm speaking to someone tomorrow to get me started and i am determined to do this. I know it won't be easy and i will probably have a few relapses on the way i guess... But if i fall off my bike i will just get back on it and if i fall off again i just get back on it and so on. Just like when i was a kid learning to ride a bike. Never give up and you will get the nack on it eventually with a bit of patience and determination. I really hope i don't let myself down. I am confident can do this over time but writing on a forum is easier than actually doing it for real. I am under no illusions. I know this will be hard but i have to stick to the advice i am given. Thank you again for all of your feedback.
None of us want to stop betting, but I feel like we have to so that we can have a better life, and if we do manage to go down to small bets the big bets will creep back for sure. It's a horrible addiction and I'm trying to beat it myself, I'm on day 1 of my diary so we could do it togeather? Don't try beat yourself up, lifes not about money, the moneys gone and you cant do anything about it unfourtunately.
hi, I recently took the descision to self exclude and stop gambling all together. I have had a gambling problem for close to 5 years and for the last two years tried and failed to addresss the problem alone. I've come to the realisation that i need professional help as I refuse to allow gambling to wreck my life.
Does anyone know of blocking softwares I can download on my android tablet as well as home PC.
Thanks for your help and support.
I use parental controls on my broadband....works very well for me...bt has a gambling one...so doesn't interfere with any thing else
Just to give you an example of how insidious and much of a force this gambling addiction is
Last year I got my one year pin at GA for making it 12 months without a bet and attending regular meetings, the first few weeks of that year free were tough, the last few were tougher still as I really craved a bet, but I wanted to get to my year mark..the day after I got to a year and got my pin, I thought right just a £5er on the football, a little cheeky four fold ..I was back to my old chasing gambling in days...less even a few bets probably, within perhaps 2 weeks maybe less I had blown all the money I had saved in that year gamble free, and contiued for the next year pi$$ing away every penny I could get my hands on, I've done that twice now, once after a year and half.
This last year has been a nightmare, my mental health has suffered..everything has ..all because I wanted a fiver on the footy weeekend acca
Not worth it mate, it really isn't, get to a GA meeting
wishing you well pal
PD
.
I have read your diary and can totally relate to what you're saying. We all immensely enjoy gambling and we all like to convince ourselves we can stay in control. I've tried managing my gambling hundreds of times ... Placing limits on spending and telling myself I can make money from gambling if I do it sensibly. Part of us believes this illogical theory and that's why we keep going back to it. Sadly though, as compulsive gamblers we must forfeit the idea that we can ever gamble in moderation or for pleasure. At some point there always comes a time where we spend way more than we should, obtaining money through lending or borrowing, extending overdrafts or simply wasting hard earned savings. I'm talking from experience. We cannot win at gambling as we cannot stop. The only way to win is to stop completely and find other ways to spend time and find enjoyment in life. I'm on day 2 and finding it tough going but I do understand a lot about this addiction from personal experience. I managed most of last year gamble free but this past two months I've been gambling again which I massively regret. The only way to change our futures is to STOP gambling altogether and remember nobody ever wins from gambling. It is not a way to make money, it's a sad and lonely way to lose a fortune as well as making us miserable and depressed. Paint yourself a happier future and accept you can never be in control of this addiction unless you accept you must stop, completely.
Hope this helps 🙂
Boxingdayfresh x
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