1st steps

Hi PSOWM... thats the spirit, its back to basics, ordinary living. For me I wouldnt analyse things to much the important thing is simply not gambling one day at a time. Onwards and upwards.

Hi WM... yes give a gam-anon meeting a try and/or counselling as support and/or the netline one to one. Your son needs to work his recovery but you need to work yours as well.. they are not one and the same.

My mum instinctively knows to keep me at arms length (to a degree) and not to sort out my life problems. This is what she is doing to help me.

She retired a few years ago now and goes on atleast 3 holidays a year.. she enjoys life irrespective of what I may or may not be doing.

WM personally i think you may be being too hard on yourself.....you are right to feel angry and let down but whats done has been done....he has proved he CAN do this so lets start taking some positives and look forward with back to basics one day at a time..you take the cards back even get him to show statements to match cards if need be....i see you posted on the supporting prob page,plenty support there as is gamanon....i also posted muppetys diary yest whilst she may have gone she was very angry with her husband when joining the diaries..some strong stuff in there...what im trying to say is you are not alone many of us fall but come bouncing back by means of these pages as will your son....hes proved it CAN and WILL be done........PSOWM a good positive post there lad....build on it you know the score friend.....we can do this 😉

Hard to stomach some of the stuff that you read on here more so when it is somebody you have hurt personally so much but with no intention of doing so. A few harsh home truths I guess. I will ensure I give it my all and ensure I don't go back on move on from this. I will be taking ODAAT with the relevant support and barriers. Good luck all have a gamble free day and keep smiling. No bonfires for me tomorrow but I am looking forward to my GA meeting. 🙂

PSOWM,

Just a quick note to say that I hope I have not been too much of a pain in the neck for you.

I guess it is a factor of yourself and your mother sharing the same diary, and you both needing support of a different type at this time.

The affect that this gambling addiction has had on my own family has been massive, as it has with you and many others on these boards. I'm sure you feel like s h i t right now but that's only to be expected. You will get through this. You will make amends to all those who you have hurt through your addiction.

Brian

Well it's Fri and I am ready to attend my second GA meeting. I'm actually quite looking forward to it now I know how it is. Can't thank the people enough who treated me so nicely and gave me some great advice. I must make a special mention to my gf for attending also as this made it a lot easier. ODAAT Keep smiling stay strong and don't bet 🙂

Well, just over a week since the news that you were back gambling sent me reeling. It has been a strange time, very low and sad and also hopeful that this is the VERY last time it happens. I don't feel as much euphoria as I did last time because then it was all new to me and I was so sure we could get it beaten between us.

Now I feel deflated and have to summon up both courage and energy to face it all again. I am obviously trying hard to offer support but feel quite a bit of worry and trepidation that we might well end up here again and again - and I honestly do not think I can do it - my health will suffer and that gives me a great dilemma because I REALLY want to be there for you - but not to condone or contribute to your behaviour. I also feel ill equipped to know when to hand over some responsibility back to you. It is obviously not good for you to allow someone else to take responsibility for your money for ever - but when can you be trusted to do it for yourself? I will keep reading the posts on here, try to talk to you every day and hopefully, build up some trust again. I am pleased that you are going to the meeting tonight - that is important, as is counselling and I feel that should be the next step - something that helps you look at yourself and perhaps why you feel the need to keep returning to the same bad place. One thing is certain - I want you to succeed! xx

Afternoon all. Well that was a weekend of gamble free activities and am starting to feel more positive again. Few spanners thrown in the works but nothing I didn't cope with. Not sure if I analyse too much or read too much but who knows. Attended another GA meeting on Fri and enjoyed it although it's a lot to take in and my brain is fried by the end after working all day. Anyway barriers in place things getting sorted slowly but surely again but more importantly me this time is last chance saloon and I want to have faith n trust and be the nice Scott that people loved to have whilst not gambling. ODAAT Keep smiling 🙂

Nice to hear you so positive, especially after the probs you had this weekend with the car etc. It will be a hard road - there is a lot of debt to pay and little money to enjoy at the moment. But you are healthy, you are open and honest again and more importantly you CAN AND WILL beat this. We will al be there to help and push you too! Do not put too much pressure on yourself. No-one expects you to be perfect, or nice all the time. Just be true to yourself and keep the barriers up and working. Love you xxxxxxx

Morning All, Gamble free day ahead to be had by all I have beaten this as I only have to not bet for a day and I can not bet for the rest of my life. I like some of the mantras in the handbook.. V nice indeed and give good reading. Anyway for today I won't gamble ODAAT and most importantly keep smiling 🙂

Well today of all days should put my little battle into perspective. I still have my health and life. Saluting all the real heroes out there fighting for bigger issues and respecting life's lost. Onwards an upwards for me. My battle continues. Much more grounded approach this time. ODAAT and keeping smiling 🙂

Great post! Good to hear you smiling! keep it up and stay strong - each day is a success. x

Good to know that you resisted your urges yesterday - even though you had a stressful day. Well done and be aware of your trigger points so you can stay strong. We are at the beginning of the journey again and it will definitely get harder as we go along - the key is to develop some patience, strengthen your willpower and keep the blocks up - talking is good and being honest is definitely necessary - if the urge to gamble stems from wanting to buy new things, the option to earn more money is always there. The option to blow the little you have spare, on gambling, is not the answer. Keep talking, keep smiling, stay honest and open. xxx

Strange week some ups and downs some hard some not so. Some sadness but hopefully more smiles 🙂 GA tonight for me 3rd week running looking forward to the meeting. Hope all is well with every1 else. Stay strong stay gamble free but most of all keep smiling 🙂 ODAAT . . . . . .:-)

PSOWM,

I had a read of your last couple of posts just now. When I read the entries from yourself and your mother a number of days ago, I really felt your pain and I worried that I could be in your position if I did not make my recovery a lasting one. Those are my selfish reasons for having an interest in your diary. My non-selfish reasons are that we must help each other to overcome this awful addiction and we all want both yourself and your mother to beat this and to progress in your individual recoveries.

I have a difficulty though… Your last post says… “some ups and downs some hard some not so”

And “Some sadness but hopefully more smiles”.

You must be going through the ringer right now and posting on this forum with regular posts from your support must be difficult. What I’m having trouble with is what’s going on beneath the surface because these posts tell us very little or give nothing with which to provide you the help that may be needed.

It’s in this context that I’d wonder what is different this time around ? What changes do you think are required to make your recovery a lasting one ? Perhaps it is too early to ask these questions? You know a lot about recovery (more than me) having been here before, so perhaps it is all a bit too basic in these early days?

I’ll leave you alone now. Apologies for my intrusion. I will wait until you give us something upon which to help you before posting again.

Brian

Hi PSOWM,

Wow what a great diary, I don't mean great is in uplifting but great as in insights for us CG's.

I mean that's a year clean and then bang, I feel I wantto sit you down and quiz you, was it the World Cup that tempted you back?

Worried mum what a great mum you are, most people don't understand gambling and after a month of monitoring they assume the addiction has gone like a dose of the flu.

Since I went to the police station 3 months ago I have spoken to my mum only three times, because of the shame I have brought her. She and you don't derserve this, it's nothing you did wrong.

Your son sounds similar to me, knows right from wrong, but where gambling is concerned we turn into nasty people who don't give a sh@t.

PSO we will never win from gambling and you really are at last chance saloon before you start to lose things alot more precious than money.

Goto counselling it's great, I get to speak to someone who see's me for me not for my addiction or crime.

I admire your honesty to shout from the rooftops what this is doing to you.

This is the biggest fight now, you can do this, you are ready.

All the best,

Smokey