1st steps

I am pleased we have come so far but still acutely aware that we are only as good as the present day. I will never again be so relaxed about this evil problem and I feel it has taken its toll on us all. I hope with all my heart that it is now in control - but I am not assuming it is, I will remain vigilant and worried! The biggest eye opener is reading everyone else's stories. What heartache is found in those pages. I am blessed as I do not have that sort of compulsive personality and I thank God every day that I don't. It makes it harder to undertand what drives someone there but I know I am much more tolerant having experienced the aftermath. However, I still believe the push and commitment has to come from the gambler and remain with them - you can only guide and support. In the end they have to make the choice, and keep on making the choice.

Week number 5... What an achievement. Feel so proud of myself and good in myself. My whole life has changed. Even down to my opions and views as they were always tarnished by another part of my life. Onwards and upwards is the only way once you stop. So thankfull for comments support and this site. Everyone keep going and stay strong and for today I wont gamble !

Hi PSOWM.

Thanks for posting on my diary and well done on your 5 week milestone. Each day the knowledge that you have got through another day gamble free gives you a great feeling. I had a couple of bad days this week where I had the urge, but am back on track and feeling so much better I know I can beat this.

Here's to another gamble free day.

Keep smiling 🙂

Karen.

Just read over the whole of my diary from page 1 to the last comment. I didnt realise how far my journey has come. Amzing. re-living the moments of madness rerading the heart warming messages but more importantly realising even more so the heartache that I have caused over the last 10 yrs. This alone makes me even more determined to not turn back to gambling. Have a good weekend all stay strong and for today I will not gamble.

Hi PSOWM

Thank you for your kind words in my diary.

I am glad you are working at your recovery and have your Mum for support. It is always easier if you have people around you who support you.

5 weeks, eh? Well Done.

I dont count days any more, I think I counted up to 90 days, because my G.A. group said to give them 90 days. After that I just looked from one day to the next. I'm still no good at making long term plans. The furthest plan I have made is for the end of September, when my whole family (all 7 of us) are going on holiday together for the first time. We are all looking forward to our dates with MickyMouse and CO.

I have had a few struggles, gambling related, over the past few days, but coming here and sharing my thoughts and feelings, help me to not go back there. Keep reading and writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings with your loved ones and yourfriends here, work through the pain and you will find peace and happiness.

Wishing you all the best

God Bless

Charly

Hey friend

Great news - 5 weeks!!!

Reading your diary back def gives strong reminders eh - and oh how we need them.

It is so easy to forget the heartache and sorrow but who wants to talk about that - this is a happy day!

Hope you and ur mum have a fab weekend.

Eyes X

Well done - early days but well done just about sums up progress so far.

Hi Everyone

Thanks for helping me to support my son. He came for a celebration dinner yesterday and that was nice. it is good to know that he is getting his demons under control and starting to care about himself again - that seemed to be neglected during those lost years. As a mother, I want to wrap him in cotton wool and protect him from the evils of the world but I know that is unrealistic. All I can do is what I am doing, helping him to control his own life and fill the gaps that gambling has left. You are all helping in that too.

Thank you. xxx

Well we move on , and now we are counting in weeks not days. Soon it will be months then years. I am so pleased you are doing so well but I am more impressed that you really are mindful of the damage that one simple slip can cause. It is so so easy to fallback and any slip can really effect your mind and well being. That said , I am acutely aware that you know this and work on it daily. Stay safe.

Am sure I will sonn be counting months and then years but small steps are good and feel big for now. Glad I have support of people that matter and my life is really shpaingup and taking on a new and good direction. Without gambling I feel much more humble and complete. I am still finding the time to fill where I would normally have gambled but it is much more interesting finding time for something to enjoy than to pass the time with something I loathe. Once again today I won't gamble and good luck to everyone who today will say NO !

Using todays post as a rant as I am mad busy at work. So have come here for some air. People never do what they say and it frustrates me no end. I get asked why don't you go about it a different way. My response I have emailed and asked them to do it they should just do it.?? Anyway what I am realising is even though I have asked, they themselves have to want to do it. Similair to gambling people can post on here, support you, but if you dont want to give up then you won't. It has to come from yourself. It makes it easier with people there but not gambling each and everyday no matter how cr** of a day Im having keeps a smile on my face. So be strong put relevant precautions in place self excluding blocking software etc and give up gambling...

ps, great to meet you in chat today, keep smiling!! you want it and i know you will get it.. keep it up

cashed

I enjoyed your rant!

Correct - the first twice I NEEDED to stop gambling - I knew that but I didnt WANT to so I failed. Now I want to for the peace of mind and because I see that life goes on and the world keeps turning even though my world has changed.

Keep up the great analogies - we are learning every day!

Eyes X

In work nice and early ready for a challenging day. Not to much on mind not really had gambling thoughts recently. I think mainly because I dont want to lose this lovely life that is developing in front of me and also because I have put great barriers up to stop me and have great support. Im not getting complacent just making myself more determined. Amazing how I come on here even before updating my FB status these days 🙂 And for today I wont gamble.

Hi PSOWM,

On Monday you wrote 'Without gambling I feel much more humble and complete'.

Me too , my understanding of what humility means has probably been the best thing I have ever learned since escaping a gambling compulsion. The arrogance and self immersion I felt when gambling was criminal. If you start to understand the feelings and emotional side/damage of what this addiction can do then you are well on the road to putting it too bed.