2010

Jasmine, 5 1/2 months ago i called you mother teresa lol (remember) just to thank you big time for helping me reach 6 months and beyond ....great to see you enjoying life to the full.,:-)

Hi Jas I remember when i came back here and your messages of support. Always always appreciated!! What a step to have made even if casinos were not your think to go in enjoy and not gamble. Just shows you hey! Really hope it continues good for you. And soon you wont be so skint and certainly as you say never as skint as when gambling. Good thoughts to you Blocked.

Hi Jas,

Married life is lovely thanks! its strange because I feel like a bit of a newlywed fraud. Im sure Im supposed to be walking around on clouds etc. But we have been together for years now, and realistically - its the same but with a more secure feeling, and a pretty certificate!

Glad you enjoyed your celebrations at the weekend if not the footie 😉

I think it is natural to spend less time on here, it just means that life is moving forward for you. Im trying to strike the right balance, as I think I still need to post but maybe not every day.

Im glad that you managed to enjoy the casino without a bet. I sometimes do mystery shopping, and did one at a bookies the other week. I thought this would be safe, as I had to make a football bet, and couldn't care less about football. However, if Im honest I think it did trigger me somehow. I guess you are a little further down the road (not that its a competition, lol)

Anyway, good to read a positive strong post from you.

Take care,

f x

Morning,

I guess it's a good sign to see my diary falling off the pages!?

I read quite a few diaries on here and I am sad to see the pattern of slips. I am a compulsive gambler...although I can't remember the last time I gambled I am fully aware that the fire could be easily reignited. When I read of slip ups sometimes this worries me, in that I wonder...when will this happen to me...is it inevitable that this is part of the recovery course. I don't know why I am thinking so deeply about this right now...perhaps subconsciously I am fancying a little gamble...I just don't know. Ramble, ramble lol. Oh, yeah...forgot....did dream of a mega win on a scratchard and so that may have got me thinking...stupid I know but it's crazy how my mind works.

Lovely and sunny here today...always a good motivator. Going to sort through a massive pile of paperwork.

All my blocks are in place to protect me.....betfilter and zero available funds so little or no chance of gambling...and as for scratchcards...the only local place that sells them has a nosey owner and so I would never dream of buying a scratchard in there...weirdo Jas ha ha ha.

Bye for now....enjoy the day. Jas xx

Hi Jas,

Maybe you are just having a day where you don't feel as strong as usual. Im like a see-saw, one day I can feel tough and resilient, the next weak and feeble.

You sound really happy and are doing great, don't let a stupid scratchcard get in the way of that! 🙂

Stay strong missus! you have come too far.

Take care, f x

Jas - is all ok ? you were very quiet tonight?

I'm not too bad thanks C 🙂

Everyone seemed to be in full flow when i joined chat and it was hard getting a word in edge ways 😉

There has been a lot going on for me here....family stuff.....when you become a parent you lose your identity...well that's how it seems. One of my girls is at Glastonbury and I suppose I wish I had had those opportunities when I was young. Hey Ho......must only look to the future for me now.

I have been craving gambling over the past few weeks.....just a little go, bit of fun, escapism etc... etc.... but it's not that easy becasue if i start I just won't stop and so I will just ride the urges.....probs be a bit miserable but it will pass I'm sure of it.

Over the past few weeks there has been loads going on here...and it has created a sort of "high" on life feeling......parties, holidays, world cup footie etc..... and I guess I may be addicted to the adrenaline rushes I've been having...now all is calmng down a little I know I am searching for another "high". Thank goodness I never dabbled in drugs! So, I guess that may be why I am thinking of the excitement of gambling and not thinking about all the S***e that went with it.

Things will level. When you haven't gambled for as long as I have there are sure to be withdrawal symptoms and that's just how it feels for me at this moment in time.

Not every day is ha ha hee hee.

Jas xx

I've been mulling over my gambling urges and to be honest even after a year they were still as strong as ever. Thing is, I didn't gamble...yeah, to be honest I wanted to but I had to work really hard at analysing what that action would have meant to my recovery.

I know if i wanted to gamble I could get my hands on some cash and i could return to my sneaky ways but I'm so much better than that now.

The need for my recovery diary over the past year has come in swings and roundabouts. Sometimes I am on here a lot and sometimes not at all. One thing remains, in that my diary has been unbelievably helpful to my recovery and has actually helped me probably more than I know over the past few weeks when I really did fancy a gamble.

I'm good at so many things in my life but rubbish at gambling lol.

I feel today is going to be a good day and tomorrow is going to be even better when we whip the arses or those germs ha ha

Keep going everyone.

Jas x

Hi Jas

That is what your diary is all about.When you get them urges come on here and write it down.I feel as time goes by we actually run out of things to say and instead read more and reply to other peoples diaries.Sometimes i actually think what a boring diary im writing at the moment just repeating im still gamblefree.Nevertheless jas we are in the lucky few who are managing to get the better of our addiction (so far).So yippeee to boring diaries lol.All the best Jeff.

Hi Jas,

glad to hear you coming out the other side of the urges. I think they come and go for all of us. I am coming up to a hoilday and had a few thoughts- maybe I could dabble a little to bump up my spending money etc

Didnt act on them but in the past have blown everything as a result of that particular trigger!

jeff's right I am posting on other peoples diairies right now cos I dont really have any news or problems to let off steam about.

Thats whats so great its OR diary to use when we need it.

Sending hugs to you and P have a great weekend

love

W xxx

Hi Jasmine,

It is really strange how the urge to gamble can re-surface in us,even after a year or more and long periods of not even thinking about it at all!!!.....,i guess that is something we all have to learn to live with for the rest of our lives.You have mentioned that you have been trying to analyse the reasons for these urges....,it seems to me though that the craving can emerge when we are very happy ,or very sad, or just plain bored!!!.

The most important thing is that you haven't given in to them,and you have got your feelings down in words on here.Stay strong Jas.

Seano.

Hi Jasmine,

It no longer surprises me when urges to gamble come along... I think its a very small percentage of people who dont get them. I think the bottom line is simply managing feelings day to day. When i do this thoughts of gambling become less when i don't thoughts of gambling grow in intensity. I think its why my diary is so long.. as it helps me to manage my feelings. All the best in recovery.. S.A

Hey my girl. I'm back. Have posted on my diary. Just read your last 2 posts. Am sending you strength. You already know the answer. It is your choice. If you really wanted to gamble you would have found a way. But.... You don't really want to. Be proud of your achievements. I have urges to gamble every now and then. Usually when I don't deal with my emotions very well. I then revert back to my old way of hiding them or keep myself too busy to think about them and then.... Hey presto... gambling thoughts pop up in my head. Then I know I have to talk to someone about how I feel and work through the real issues. Gambling is just an excuse to escape from living real life and all that comes with it.

God Bless my friend. Together we will stay strong. Charly/ Sabine. xx

((((jasmine))))) thanks for your post on my diary, very sweet of you!

I agree with Charly be proud of your achievements, dont give in to those urges, its realy not worth it!

Thanks again Jasmine for the past 12 months in chat and on my diary, you have been great....There are some special genuine people on this forum and you are certainly one of them.

Take care and lots of love to you and your family, ands xx

Glad you fought the urges missus!

Ive had loads of urges this weekend too, and its not easy when they are in your lug hole telling you its what you need to do!

Hope you get some peace from them soon, I dont know if this will be of any help as a tip - but it really helped me to go and put a fiver in a charity tin when I had them yesterday. just reconnected my noggin with the value and power that money can have. I still got a bit of a buzz - but it went with a warm feeling, instead of a sinking one, lol.

Have a great day, and enjoy the sunshine ;-D

f x