Last time round I got to 38 days and let my self down. Luckily I didn't lose any money on that occasion. It's now been 37 days since thrn. There's been the odd occasion I've thought about gambling, normally driven by a memory or tv advert. I feel I've done well though not to follow through. Works been busy which has helped, any free time I've tried to occupy.
The one monkey on my back is the fact I haven't still told my wife. I really want to. At the same time I'm in a better place mentally and know it will just cause carnage. On top of that she always has a number of people share their problems with her and struggles with having to deal with it all. It just makes her anxious. We've had a few days of arguing over petty things which for my part is driven by her worrying about other peoples problems and sometimes it's worrying about things that haven't even happened yet. I joked your lucky I haven't got any problems to dump on you. She replied what problems have you got! So, basically where does that leave me. Continuing to carry the shame and guilt alone and doing my best to continue to stay gambling free.
Perhaps I'm just having a bad day. The new year is almost here. Id like to be able to post in a years time, and still be clean.
Hello RBwanttogiveup,
Well done for being GF for over a month and for continuing to count even after your relapse. It shows you are determined and you can take charge of the situation.
However, battling against an addiction is very hard to do relying on will-power only. There are things you need to put in place to strengthen your efforts. You may minimise the temptations by self-excluding for example. Telling your wife could mean that you can ask her to manage your income so you don’t have access to extra money. As a start, you may get in touch with GamCare and talk to an advisor who will go through things with you that could support you I your recovery.
Problem gambling can be very isolating as feelings of embarrassment can stop you from seeking help. Unfortunately, it can affect people from all kinds of backgrounds and the only way to beat it is to be able to share the problem and get as much support you can.
So, the next step would be to contact us for further support and start the new year stronger and more equiped.
Best wishes,
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