hi all I'm new to the site and am just starting out on the long road to recovery with the help of my partner if he can hold on to what we got xx I am 46 years old divorced with a daughter 28 and a granddaughter of 5. I have been with my wounderfull partner for 10 years and can say after meeting him my life changed. When married we got in to financial difficulty I was duped by my X husband to sign a loan with him to help save the house he told me it was 5k I trusted him like a fool and it was a remortgage for 30k I should of read it but didn't so now I'm responsible for a loan I didn't see a penny of. (Idiot I know) I then met my new man who has helped me learn how to deal with my finances properly and put me on a road to a great credit score!! Ty babe xx
Now as a kid my parents worked hard for us 2 brothers and me we never went without a holiday each year to the east coast ingolmells Skegness. Had some wounderfull memories however what as a kid do you down Skegvegas as I have heard it called. Yep you got it gambling!!! We stopped going on holidays when I became 15 so from the age of dad picking me up to put a penny in a slot machine to 15 I played. I always looked older than I am (luckily as I am older I look younger) lol so I was able to visit grown up arcades on my doorstep with no bother of id etc. It became a social thing to be fair I found new friends although we shared the gambling it was nice I loved it the thrill of winning having money good times yes I lost but as a youngster I didn't need money to the degree you need it when your a adult. Me and my best mate both fell pregnant around the same time we had a our baby's and saw each other nearly everyday. She was my gambling partner back before we was pregnant we both was mothers and had no time for gambling until our kids became older and we was earning a good wage I think we was both in unhappy relationships and used to meet after work for a hour at our local arcade where we new everyone and was very close to the manageress there we had some laughs I can tell you. Probably started loosing small amounts to start with we would go halves so 20 quid of hers and 20 quid of myn lost in 4 hrs was ok for us we was together having a laugh and probably not being around our husbands our kids was well looked after so what was the harm? Fruit machines then became more money to play we played the 10p a press to start, they then became 25p a press and then went to 30p a press with a jackpot of £25 lol sorry it just made me laugh at £25 jackpot so we carried on playing obviously our £20 each turned in to £30 each then we would loose it all. We would get the manager to save the machine we lost on till the next day to try and win our money back and sometimes we did but we stupidly go to anouther machine and loose again, I remeber once we had a machine saved for us everyday for a week id imagine we put a few hundred in that to try and win £25 Jeeezzzz. Anyway my friend moved away in fact so far I only ever saw her once in the 10 years she left, but I kept on gambling I loved it the thrill of people watching when you won a jackpot the excitement of putting a £1 in a fruity and winning a jackpot not often though was brilliant. So that's where I was from the penny machines to the 30p a go.. I lost hundreds probably thousands but could afford to so it wasn't a massive issue. Then along come the £1 to play computer type machines with a £500 jackpot wow I remeber I played the 1st ever one in my local arcade and walked out loosing £2000 that day chuffing hell from a couple of penny's years before to £2000. I said to myself never again but I went back few days later and boom hit the jackpot only after about £50 happy days? Nope that all went back in a different machine as you do. Anyways by the time I met my current partner my mirage was over not because of gambling but because I fell out of love I still had some personal debts he helped me sort them out my parents died I was left some money so I paid them off using that and had a little left over to start my new life with him. He knew about my gambling and I promised I would stop and I did for about 8 years. We had our ups n downs he changed jobs which meant I had a weekend in 2 free to do as I please I don't know why but I decided to go and have a try on a fruity which I did but someone on there told me about online slots ooooo how exciting was that lol. I came home searched and found not 1 site but 100sss all offering joining bonuses etc you all know the story. So 2 years ago to last Sunday May 7th 2017 I gambled 12k not debt money I had but money that was for me and my partner to retire with plus obviously more to save over the years. As you all know as a gambler you get very good at hiding bank statements and stuff. We went out sat night had a fantastic time then Sunday morning I heard bang bang upstairs my partner woke me up and asked me if i was in debt Ohhh shitttt I thought I hadn't hid the letter from the bank asking to up my overdraft .why u upping your overdraft he said. I lied and said my daughter need to borrow some money so I increased it to give her, he didn't believe me so he buffered of out for a drive to clear his head . I had 2choicws weather to carry on the lie when he got back or come clean, I wrote him a letter and came clean, we have both crewed everyday since the full extent of my stupidness is probably 15k but I don't owe anyone that money luckily but I do have to pay it back, I have given all my finances to him he will give me a laoowance each week to shop with bus fares etc. I will be visvisitng ga meetings soon and hopefully found a more one 2 one meeting for us both as he wants to save this relationship and needs to understand some things. I'm gimknowmthis a long post but Ty for reading it's a start to the new me
I live in Nottingham if anyone knows of one to councilling sessions I'd appreciate it. Ty red xx
A great first and honest post there Red. I loved it when I read that you came clean with your partner, that's a fantastic start and a great springboard
You can find a local councillor through gamcare, not sure how but I'm sure someone will drop by and advise. It's superb to hear that you've admitted to yourself quickly that you have a problem early and is going to attend GA.
No real advice that I've offered above but just wanted to say hello. Stick round this forum, it can be comfy with other people in the know. A place to both receive and offer support....
I really think you are on the road to ' kerching! '
Hello Redbar
Welcome to the forum you will find lots of support here and people who understand how you feel so do keep reading and posting.
GamCare are able to offer free one to one counselling in some areas and we do have a counselling service in Nottingham which is run by our counselling partner APAS. You can call them directly on 0115 824 0550 or you are very welcome to call our helpline 0808 8020 133 where one of our advisers can facilitate a referral to APAS for you. We are open everyday 8am until midnight.
You can read about our counselling service here http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/free-counselling
Best wishes
Forum Admin.
Just wanted to say I could of gone on for pages and pages that's a small insight in to me lol.. Today is day 7 gamble Free, I've had no urges yet but I'm sure they will appear, big weekend aswell for me my partner is working but I'm copeing so far 🙂 Ty fr advice I'm going to ring apas tommorow to get us some help more partner than me as he's finding it hard to understand how gamblers enjoy loosing money!!!
Thanks for reading red xx
Hello Red, your insight comment of yourself put a smile on my face. I also can be fellow believer in why saying it in a couple of words when we can say it in hundreds. After all it's been said that the average joe has between 15,000 and 20,000 words in our vocabulary, so may as well use them. It's just unfortunate for me that most of mine start with 'f', so I tend to keep quiet..... 😉
On a separate note but your partner must also be a clever man because it's a phenomen of sorts but it's only a fallacy that we gamble to win, it's the losing it appears that cg's are addicted too.
A trap!!
Have a good day and just either read/ post if the thought slyly appears. But, most important for you, be good to yourself and if there's any sun in Robin Hood country, soak up the rays and not the arrows of addiction...
Hi volcano, I to have that vocabulary lol but knew my post would be banned so kept it clean. Thanks for the imaginative pun at the end I like it, I'm not soaking the sun as I have terrible hay fever but I am however sorting and cleaning our house to keep me busy. I don't know much about you but I assume your a me so keep strong and being on here I have found to be quite interesting that all gamblers share the one thing in common we only human and f. Up at times 🙂 red xx
Yep, we're in the same club red, both striving to give up membership. You've also realised early doors that we are mere humans after all. Sheen to the windows which is akin to ' power to the people '
Wolfie
Have you ever been to a ga meeting? I'm thinking of going tonight but I just read it's kinda free for all with no counsellors or anyone there just gamblers? I don't want to turn up and there be me and 3 others I want to be able hide at 1st lol
Give it ago red. Nothing to lose, it's a place to listen, talk or hide regardless of the numbers.... slowly, slowly catchee a monkey they say, so go through the doors with an open mind for your self but also to show intent for your partner. The former is the most important, i.e. Do it for yourself and the rest filters down
ps..... listen to yourself, you've got the inclination regardless of our little chat.
I think I'm going to go 8 till 10 tonight in a church! If I don't do tonight's I will defiantly go on Wednesday as I've promised myself and partner I'd try it.. There all lateish in a church does no one see this important drug needing probably more places to go other than 2 times a week in a church in a deprived area because they couldn't possibly have them in a church on a posh estate no no no.. .. Makes me politically angry when help is out there in vast if your a batterd drug addicted alcohol abused gender. Rant over lol.. Red x
It's good to rant red, I think it's common amongst people who attend ga or the likes the initial reservations with regards to the venue and location but that's by the by and you'll no doubt find others just like you who also had initial doubts but they went and keep on returning. Do it in your own time and because your curious not because you feel pressurised in going. Either way, all the best
Nice to meet you in chat red...
And thank you for sharing your story so honestly. ..massive respect to you for coming clean to your partner so quickly....I put it off for a couple months...but for there in the end...yes it was a yuck time....but not as yucky as I imagined it would be..
I'm early fifties....3 children and 3 grandchildren. ...and like you ...online slots got me hook line and bleedy sinker. ..that was all around 17 months ago.....and boy is life better now....take a look at my journey....it may help...it may not...at the very least it will keep you occupied for a while...x
Welcome redbar ... well done for getting here ... I'm a Nottingham resident and the apas service is brilliant they are all very good there ... can I ask where you found GA as I was under the assumption the closest was in chesterfield?
Yo Red, I've dragged your diary back to the top, so now your spoilt for choice with what diary to use at top of the gamcare tree...Good to see you getting further apart since last mezmerizing spin on the reels .. good on you
Hi nan theres a church in radford they do meetings sunday and,wednesday nights for 2 hrs I havnt been so carnt say for sure, but I found imformation out on here somehow, carnt get any response from apas
Xx
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