A dangerous step to recovery

I have been gambling for the best part of 20 years now, and I’ve recognised that I now have a problem with it, and should seek the available help that is out there.

i first called GamCare on the 19/12/2019 and must say that they were fantastic, they made me feel at ease with the situation, made me aware that i am not alone and said that they can offer me ongoing support in my recovery.

i opted to go about the start of my recovery in a different manner, knowing that I wanted to have that one last gamble before I 100% committed, only in hindsight can I now say that this was stupid, irresponsible and extremely selfish of me! If you make the decision to call GamCare then follow it up by putting all bans etc in place, if you don’t it only makes their work and your taking the first step towards your recovery pointless.

so from here on in is the 100% committed start to my recovery from addiction, I am thoroughly looking forward to counselling to see whether this addiction is attributable to anything, or if it’s purely my selfishness that has got me to this point?

i had relatively good control of my gambling until approximately 2 weeks ago, then for reasons still unknown to me I pressed the self destruct button!

as I write this none of my family members are aware of my problem and I hope to be able to cure myself by telling as few of them as possible, but if push comes to shove am prepared to stand up, own up to my mistakes and commit to my recovery.

i now have all relevant bans in place, I will be setting up a group chat with 2 of my most trusted friends, to whom I will be accountable, and have set the wheels in motion for paying back any debts that I’ve gained along the way. 

I will try to write on this diary every day, purely for my own benefit and record keeping.

my story will be true to every word, and I look forward to helping you on your journey as much as I’m sure you will help me on mine.