I am going to use these as a method of recording my thoughts and impulses
I have studied gambling addiction in Psycholgy and so I just feel so disappointed in myself that I let this take control I had a big crash 4 years ago when I lost £250 in one day at 18 that was huge to me and thought it could never be that bad again.
Fast forward 4 years and in the last month I lost over £1000 after a win of about £550 so I am in the red as well as £2000 into my student overdraft I have 18 months to pay that back so it is not a problem as long as I don't waste money on FOBTs which have been my vices.
I plan to update this every couple of days both for my sake and for the sake of anyone who wishes to read it
I have checked out a lot of posts including that one you mention they are warnings about how much worse things can get from my point and I am taking heart from the fact I am choosing to get out now even though I have great sympathy for them all
I tonight put a note in my wallet that reads 'The House will ALWAYS Win, Think About It' and when I put money in my wallet that will be at the front as a reminder for a while until I don't require it even it takes a while.
I haven't gambled in 11 days and I don't have any feeling to
FOBTs were my cruxes but I am abstaining from all bet at the moment I watched a documentry last night Louis Theroux and Gambling in Las Vegas and I wish I had watched it 3 weeks ago when I began my downhill fall because it made me really think there were 4 people focused on.
1 women had lost $4m in 7 years
The 3 others, one guy was 10k up in the first night and ended up 35k in the hole, another lost around 300k although he couldn't say for sure and the last guy we weren't given figures for but what was the most mind boogling was the attitude of both the casino and people. The Casino shift manager said 'we want them to win of course... because then they'll come bqck' and the players would say 'never leave on a hot streak' or 'the cards always turn eventually' it was all about rationailty to keep gambling.
I really wished I had seen it before I lost my money it really would have made me think twice.
Great documentary, when you are watching you think they are mad. Then I look in the mirror and see I'm just the same!
The casinos are specialists in human phycology and exploit addicts, of that there is no doubt. I strongly agree that most online and offline casinos/bookmakers etc know they get a large % of their profits from problem gamblers although I'm sure they will insist the majority comes from those having a cheeky £5 coupon a week...I doubt it.
It was mad to watch especially when the guy is piling money into the slots and I thought 'god that is what I looked like in front of the FOBTs' when I walk by the bookies and see people playing I just see that documentry in my head and I don't feel tempted I feel more freedom in the fact that I'd now rather spend £5 getting lunch and coffee than trying to use it to win in the bookies and then within an hour have spent 20/30.
Into the New Year and it feels good I am actually pretty confident of staying away from the FOBTs I am a rather stubborn git when I put my mind to something. Last year I just decided to stop drinking because why not and I lasted 120 days and that was something I didn't HAVE to stop so in this case where I know I need to stop I am finding it all easy.
I am aware this is not the case for everyone I am not saying anything about those who find it hard I can only write for my expierence.
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