A year wasted.

Hi Katie, good plan moving your money...I still keep very littlevin my current account. Although others have won a) they probably have ploughed alot in b)will probsbly blow their winnings. The only winners are the owners of these companies.Stay strong abd enjoy the festive season, take care S:)

More money lifted today. As my finances are sorting themselves I still absolutely do not trust myself to have money in my bank. Funny as well, for the first time in years I am meeting friends for lunch and catching g up with old colleagues. Never a priority when gambling takes a hold.

Cant stop tap tap calculating money even though I have my bill money, really really not a healthy focus!

Keep pushing Katie..
You're doing great...
I'm sure the friends will never admit what theve spent/lost. .
X

Hi Katie, just dropping by to see how things are? Your name is always one of the first that springs to mind on here as we started our recoveries at pretty much the same time.

Hope you’re doing ok.

Moorey

Hi Moorey. I am still here checking in. I was put down for a ridiculous amount of overtime.. not my choice ! However beneficial in staying busy. Can't believe we are on 50 days..need to push for new year as I am very soon to have time on my hands...always a dangerous time...How are you finding things?

Katiecoo wrote: Hi Moorey. I am still here checking in. I was put down for a ridiculous amount of overtime.. not my choice ! However beneficial in staying busy. Can't believe we are on 50 days..need to push for new year as I am very soon to have time on my hands...always a dangerous time...How are you finding things?

Glad to hear you’re still gamble free 🙂

Keeping busy is most certainly a good thing! I’ve been off work the last couple of days and I’ve had to make sure that I’ve kept as busy as possible.

I’m finding things fine most of the time, it’s Saturdays where the urges really come to the front. They’re not desperately huge urges, and neither do I get tempted. They’re more ‘wishful thinking’ urges. I know I have to remain gamble free though. That’s what keeps me going. Christmas and New Year was always my initial goal which is not too far away now.

We’re doing well Katie, keep up the good work x

So for last two months I have kept my wage and paid of my credit card. Great feeling but because I do not trust myself and never will I am lowering my limit from over 5K down to 500 just for an emergency and card will be locked away. I cannot allow myself debt because I obsess with calculating bills over and over and over again. I can't live like that no more. The available credit can no longer be available to me !! Onwards and upwards

Today I feel vulnerable, I feel scared , confused and unsettled. I won't gamble as to be honest the thought now scares me. I just loose all control and I will not allow for Xmas to be spoilt or to make myself anymore jittery than what I am already feeling. It's not a financial worry as my finances are starting to sort...I just can't put my finger on what is driving my fears...likely my mental health!

Hi Katie,

Reading through your diary and it seems your doing so well and your so focused on getting yourself sorted financially, please don't feel scared or worried as it seems your fighting this well, it's likely your tired and stressed from working and over thinking maybe.

Going for a walk to free your mind I find is good.

I relapsed about a week ago after going another 3 months gamble free and I feel awful again, but I will start again.
I tend to forget what gambling puts me through, but I like you actually don't really enjoy it or like the thought of it but tend to turn to it when I'm bored or feeling lonely /down.

Think good thoughts and remember Christmas is nearly here where you can spend valuable time with family.

Hi Katie sorry your feeling on edge, be kind to yourself and take odaat, feel proud your finances are shaping up too! Indeed feels weird not to have the panic or worries of too many Christmases....Take care S:)

Woke up before my clock went off this morning having a panic attack in my sleep, cause unknown? Bills are all paid and Xmas is in order so really unsure what triggered it other than bad nerves. Because I am no longer worried re money I am finding other things to worry about? A regular pattern I guess for an ex gambler? What a way to find another adrenaline fix !

Hi Katie, yes I can relate to your feelings of worrying about other things, now that the worry of money has eased slightly. It’s almost like we’re programmed to be worrying about something in our lives. You’ve clocked up 2 months now which is fantastic. It couldn’t have come at a better time too, just before Christmas.

Try and allow yourself to enjoy this Christmas. You totally deserve it.

It’s not been an easy ride, but you’re finishing 2017 off strongly.

Stay strong girl,

Moorey

Very strong urges for over 30 minutes,even went as far as searching casino sites. Rode it out urges have passed and a bucket put on instead. I have so much more to do with my money !

Boxset not bucket