A year wasted.

Your last post brought a smile to my face. I think I would prefer putting a bucket on my head and whacking it until the gambling urge has gone. Haha we could be onto something there Katiecoo.

Congratulations on your continued good progress. You are doing really well. I look forward to being with you and all our GamCare friends for a calender year free from gambling.

It really makes me feel focussed to think I can go right through 2018 without having a bet. I will concentrate on one day at a time but days just seem to pass me by so quickly. I don't wish to waste any more.

Take care. Wishing you happy days, peace and contentment.

How I am enjoying re watching game of thrones back onto series 3.... binds up my free evening time ..perfect 🙂

How I long to gamble today...unsure why urges are so strong. Broken triangle, I can't gamble I have no access to funds after caping of my credit availability..The urges will pass, thank goodness I cannot get in debt, best decision I made was to pay off and lower as today I could would have buckled. I have started to save small random amounts in savings but will not access as I will gamble it if I know how much I have saved. I need to class this money as forgotten funds, or miss that I just round up to an even number in my bank account.

Hi Katiecoo. Just read through some of your diary. You are in that period now where christams has gone so in the back of your mind you think a little gamble wouldnt hurt as you might not have much outlay for a while. It tricks us into thinking we can control it and just have a quick go. WE CANNOT. Last year i managed 136 free of fobt machines. They are my weakness. 4-500 sessions on occasion. Felt terrible afterwards and whilst gambling, but couldnt seem to walk out the door. Before i enter a bookies and after i have come out i am sensible with money but whilst in these horrid places i have no self control. i won 3-400 just before christmas then lost 34 quid on december 29th, that was last time i went in. im on day 8 of no gambling and as its new year i dont want to blot 2018 with a gamble of any kind. Last year when i got to day 136 i thought i would be ok but i wasnt. i see that you suffer from anxiety, i am the same and i was taking citolopram for over 10 years until recently and used to play fobts to take my mind off anxiety and money worries. I am the same with thinking about money constantly. I try to imagine all these bookies having no one in them and closing because us suckers have stopped using them in person or online. Thankfully i dont use online sites as always liked the buzz of winning cash and having it straight away. Last year i had more money when i quit and because i have done better last year i am not to bad at the moment. It was my year of training i could say towards an entire year of not gambling. I tell you what i do when i feel the urge, i watch a boxset. Something that helped me and still helps me is a series called LOST. Ive got all six seasons and it really is worth getting the collection from shops as it is pure escapism, all these characters with different traits and problems on an island. You may have seen it and not watched much but please try again and absorb yuorself into it by watching a few on the trot. It was like medicine to me. Anyway let me know if you do and how your getting on.

My nerves are terrible. Did I do the right thing cancelling all my credit facility. Feeling very vulnerable, what if I need it?. I have always had credit available to me, now none..frightening to live within means? I know I can't be trusted the only way I feel is to save an emergency fund? New territory for me?

I was in the same boat as you. I used a credit card to fall back on for car repairs etc if I didn't have the money in bank, therefore I always felt like I could get money if I needed it. Granted it wasn't my money but it was there nevertheless. Only problem was I also used it to gamble with.
I now have no credit cards or overdraft facility and I won't tell a lie it's tricky.
I'm fortunate, if I'm really struggling I know I could borrow off parents but that's not what I want to do.
All I will say is that after years of my debts building up, because receiving the credit was so easy, I now know my debts will only go down - slowly that's true but it's good to know they'll never go up. It's well worth it for that reason alone.
You can do this Katiecoo, be kind to yourself. Try to stop worrying so much. If you have enough to pay bills and generally live on then you will manage. It's great you've broken the triangle - well done! Here's to each new gambling free day leading us to feeling happier.
All good wishes x

You are doing really well Katiecoo. Getting through Christmas and New Year was a big milestone in itself. You are now 77 days gamble free which shows you have the courage to say no to the addiction.

I think it's part of our make-up to worry about our finances because we have left ourselves short in the past.

I always endeavour to have money on an Asda gift card. It's reassuring to know I can get my shopping in, even if the worse comes to the worse.

Take care and be kind to yourself. In time the fog will lift and we can maybe see things more clearly.

Wishing you peace, contentment and happiness.....stephen

Trying to address and face my underlying issues, anxiety being the first and the most problematic. I have been prescribed anxiety meds. I have always in the past turned to gambling to de-stress? To relax?, to escape?, now I need another way. My father is dying, it's on my mind daily. Got very bad in that lately I am imagining half my family dead not just my father and filled with fear and dread for the future.How should I come alone? I thought to myself today irrationally..blimey smoking distressed me as did drinking and gambling, what do I turn to now? Gambling for me is an action that masks a mental health problem.

Nearly bought a packet of cigarettes today and haven't smoked in 8 years, can't allow myself this either as I wouldn't want to risk my health having kids that need me. I smoked for over 20 years. Fffs I really am in a twist and need to learn to start living g again .

Sorry to hear about your father. Much love and strength being sent your way x

How I hate January, lots of out goings no spare cash and my brain is seeking an award. I don't know why I think that my situation should be any different than other people's. #Januaryblues I have long forgotten the dreaded morning after I must remind myself and stay focused.

Thinking of you Katie and sorry you're having a tough time. I guess the basic question if you are tempted is 'will gambling hrlp me in the long term' sorry if this sounds patronising! Stay strong Sx

Hi Katiecoo,

sorry to hear about your father and your general stress and anxiety. It is understandable that particularly in this time of your life you really need comfort, and the old ways of comofort come to mind first. Alcohol, nicotine and gambling.

I would however recommend that you look at some creative hobbies. Anything like adult colouring in books, crocheting, knitting, any forms of arts and crafts, cooking, baking, etc. are all really good way to switch off and shift focus. With the added bonus that you are making something and have something to show for it in the end. So it will help you on two different fronts. I suggest you experiment with hobbies, try a few things, see what you enjoy doing.

Wishing you all the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Hey Katie. ..
Sorry to read you're having a tough time love. ..I'm not around here much lately. ..just pop in when I can for a quick catch up...and to keep me on my toes. .
You're doing so well hun. ..dealing with all those feelings. ...and staying focused...
Keep on fighting love...things do become clearer. ...urges become less and less...as you get stronger and stronger....keep busy. ..x

Hi Katie,

sending you strength of resolve and hugs to get you through a difficult period and month.

Keep your chin up

Wilsy x