Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

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DMac,

Thanks for your kind words on my diary. I am glad to see you back on the straight and narrow giving it your all. From a purely selfish point of view I am in the best of company with you and Wilsy being back at the start rebuilding non gambling days and this time I promise that I fully intend on walking the walk with you side by side.

No matter your recent slip you are still the shining light for me and many others on here. Take care of yourself and you will get to where you want to be. No doubt about that.

Tomso.

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Hi Duncan,

Sorry to hear about the pain in your joints with the gout...hope the medication is getting to do its work. I've also heard what others have mentioned in terms of treatment, although so far I've never had to use it myself.

Always stepping forward...never mind those joints, just make sure you keep taking those steps forward in yourself too. It's tough, but as we all know, we can't change the past.

All the best mate,

Ryan

Whoops..that'll serve me right for trying to post on a train with dodgy signal ...time to delete a boat load of posts ..

Lol xxxx

Afternoon diary,

Thanks for the advice ladies regarding the gout, I got some decent reading material today of why's to erradicate the onset, to which I will be giving my fullest attention.

Looks like the guiness days are over!!!!

With honesty I have not drunk much in the past couple of months, half a dozen pints in total, medication stopping it in the most part.

I had my assessment today with the counseller to see what sort of programme would suit me best, after getting the 'good will hunting' attitude out of my head I think I will put the wekly sessions to good use, the one thing I did emphisise today is my want to better my understanding of the triggers that make my gambling mind overide my rational one.

I do not wish to use counselling as a way to provide myself with a blame stick, what I mean in that is I dont wish to be able to blame anyone for my actions. I take full responsability for the actions of my gambling and the destruction that my addiction waged upon my life and many others, I want to pursue a gamble free life and will use any tool to help me in my quest.

To find out the reasons why I gamble will gift me the ability to deal with them in my life, to erradicate the actions which lead me down the gambling alley.

for me the gambling alley has an entrance, I see it every day when I wake up, there's a fella holding a bill board down it, beckoning me to the streets paved with gold and where knowone losses!!

Oh f**k that's those adverts replaying in my mind again,I would still like to see an advert for the black and white version, the other outcome of gambling, maybe a fella losing his home, or being sent to prison for the addiction that made him steal, his kids crying, 3 minutes of a compulsive gambler playing a fobt, a ton a spin, not looking at the screen, turning his back, silent, withdrawn, looking sucicidal feeding twenties into the machine, the staff pretending not to notice as his wages dissapate into half a dozen spins.

it could end with the walk of shame.

They do it for drink driving, offer a warning, why not gambling.

I just laughed at that statement I typed, in the library, I am the youngest by twenty years, time to leave lol!! on that note.

My name is duncan Mcquilken I am a compulsive gambler I choose life today, through an educated judgement.

No bet today.

Sent them off with cake today, sausage rolls tomorrow.

Stepping forward never back.

Hey Duncs,

What a spirit!!! Never ending encouraging posts! Thank you so much for everything. You are a strong fighter and with each day you can only get stronger.

For it be proud!!!:-)

DAY at a time

Sandra x

Hi Duncanmac. It's your old mate here. Long time. Just read your recent posts. If you wanna drop me a line on email or ring for a chat. Happy to listen. I could do with a good chat myself. So pleased that you havent rejoined the cycle. Well done. Take care my friend. Ian x

Shoot, there was one more thing I wanted to suggest for you.... a little and fairly easy exercise which strengthens the muscles which support the knees... do not do if it hurts... try to do 5-10 every day upon waking

- it's a modified squat (not a deep one). All you do is squat as though you're about to sit on a low chair (or a toilet) BUT your knee MUST stay over your ankles and not move forward over your toes.... so think of your upper body moving forward and your b**t sticks out behind (but keep the knees over ankles)

Hope it helps and no need to reply as I know you're a busy fella!

Hi Duncs

Sorry to hear you too had a moment of madness and gambled. We dust ourselves down and get straight back to where we were I guess. I don't want to gamble and just remain frustrated at my actions. To have given the gambling gods what they wanted angers me. Ok so they won this month but I am back on my road to recovery, back on this site as a regular and back to strengthen my resolve.

Supporting you always.

G

Morning Diary.

Great to hear from you Mr.B cant help thinking there is a certain fairy out there who may have sent a message?? maybe wrong, done that many times lol.

Still good to have you on board agian, sent you a rather long email this morning, good for therapy, thankyou.

Mr.I B led me to think more broadly about my recovery last time he was here, the shame is I kind of missed the boat on alot of what he said, gifted me in stuff he forwarded to me I did not look at the reasons for doing the things asked, today I understand a great deal more.

I lost the fear factor, I was scared of having a bet, a healthy scared as in you know what happens if you plug yourself in then stand in a paddling pool. The outcome is a shock!!

I let that feeling go, with that I lost respect for what I set out to do each day, live it gamble free, solely because it will better my day, my mindset wont be f****d, I wont f**k up the lives of all those folk around me either.

I know that gambling, my acts of gambling affect others in a detrimental way, the outcome can never bring happiness.

The act of abstinence can, again today I find myself smiling at that, today I again fear the punt, I respect it's intensions, f**k I am an addict, the temptations will forever be there for me.

Today I understand the potential outcome, the losses greater than any win, the odds are stacked so far against my chance of gaining that again I can laugh at the propect of gambling.

Gambling has again become a very real part of my life, it has to be party to the general conversations, the actions I take to face up to addiction again square in the face.

Today I know it is a leveller, we today again stand equal.

In harmony with each other, hey there goes that fairy again.

I shared my tv advert idea at the dining table last night, we decided to cast the hyena's from the lion king to play the compulsive gambler role,for many reasons.

They are bottom of the food chain, one would be eating his own leg!! the other saying 'Do it again!!! do it again!!!'

Instead of Scar we would just have an fobt!!!

Raised a smile at the table and helped this fella's resolve.

My name is duncan I am a compulsive gambler No bet today.

Stepping forward never back.