Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Duncan,

i've read through your diary and note that you are now enjoying some simple pleasures away from gambling.

I love my music and football but feel huge guilt,it's almost like i should deny myself as a punishment.

Family life is so important to me,can't believe ive jepordised this with my own stupidity.

Well done going 41 days mate, keep it up.

Andy (wilsy)

day42

six weeks today NO BET

I feel like i have a purpose in life.

I no longing need to spend my day formulating lies to cover up for the thing that destroyed so much time in my life.

I can look in the mirror and not want to tear the throat out of what looks back.

I want to live

I will suceed,continue to fight this addiction and i will win!

duncs today stepping forward not looking back.(still smoke free!!)

42 days,well done!

I'm still having problems with the mirror!!!

Cheers,

Gazza

After the stress of reading about those awful gambling establishments in the last few days, it was SO nice to read your post on my diary.

"The blood returns to my veins"

"The song returns in my voice"

"The stride in my walk"

"Most of all all the face that looks back at me in the mirror is one i can live with again."

Wow! Need I say more?!

GT

Well done on 42 days dunc ur doing great also well done on the f**s how long u been stopped them i also stopped them new years day.

all the best mate keep up the good work

Redmanjim

Hi Duncs

Just wanted to thank you for your support. Glad you have made is so far. One week until the half century. I am sure you will do it. Keep writing. I know it is predominantly for you (as it needs to and should be) but your diary clearly inspires the rest of us.

Mark (one run at a time)

day43

thanks gt,ade and mark I do know with all the help I recieve i will continue to beat this addiction and gt I must have some of my sons writing ability in my veins i do trully write my diary and on others from the very depths of my heart.( note to self Joe i am so proud to be your dad,someone you can through our unending love share this great journey with, well until you start charging for your time!!)our eldest son through his young poet laureate role today was in the bbc radio solent studio and read his latest poem live on the breakfast show.So today a pleasure greater than money could ever buy was something i was able to enjoy as a parent not as the alien to my family i had become.

long may this wonderful journey continue,duncs one more day stepping forward never back.TODAY NO BET.and down to two manky nicotine gum a day!!

day44

GA tonight another part of my ever growing cache of tools to beat back the thing that tried to steal my life! NO BET TODAY.

duncs stepping forward never back.

and just a quick note to MR MESSI thanks for sharing that lesson in real football just breathtaking.

Afternoon D

i've my first GA meeting tonight and am a bit apprehensive but willing to give it a go.

Will get back to you tomorrow on my experience.

Do you have to go every week?

Work/family life might make it difficult for me especially at the moment as i've still to break the awful news to my partner

Gazza

Duncan....

Well done on the change of lifestyle... I havent used GA, but have benefited from 1-2-1 counselling... only 6 sessions in out of 24 and beginning to think I have this cracked! might be a bit soon...

Stick with it fella and keep posting.

day45

Another dose of medication delivered via the medium of GA and the lid will stay off that bottle for a good time to come,a fella about my age had attended a couple of meetings back in november and thought he was cured!! so did not attend again. He returned yesterday due to the fact he has been at it since jan and suprise suprise with the stakes raised again, to end he came because he got caught out at the weekend and saw it as a way to save his marriage more than himself as he said he still hasnt hit his rock bottom!!. I draw from this that whatever the chosen help we use to arrest this filthy habit we surely have to see it through,we have to take the help we can to serve us best in remaining in recovery. And with this we will not return to the lying, decieptfull self centered people we were in our life as a compulsive gambler now i am not religious in any conitation but i tell all this,the one religon i will not be following is the gambling one!! I will continue to be able to look in that mirror and face what looks back by saying TODAY NO BET.lesson learnt a valuable one indeed.

no more lies a life in which i enjoy the ride!

duncs one more step in the road to recovery. ( note to self 3 weeks no smoking so no celbrating with a cigar!!lol maybe a pint of the black stuff tonight)

A pint of the black stuff sounds perfect to me!

GT

Cheers dude. You deserve it

day 46.

morning all today i was bouncing off the walls at silly o'clock this morning fighting an addiction.Smoking!! day 22 and i hope the last vestages of my smoking habit were this morning making there last stand,so i had a delicious gum,at 38 yrs old then did our youngest sons paperound(what a sight lol) then home before anybody else even woke up,cleaned,did ironing and baked for an hour!I am now glad to say in everyones good books even the budgie!!(he got apple and lettuce in an attempt to keep him quiet) I do not want to smoke!! and gambling well for today NO BET!

I can safely say it is for today a thought that could not be further away.

duncs.one day at a time stepping forward.

(note to self you should have stuck to the original plan of the pint of the black stuff maybe it was the goblin in the bottle you had!!lol!!)enjoy your weekend all I intend to gamble free.