Aegretudo Egretudo !

Bad news, hit the wall badly on Saturday, drank to many beers and booooom ! what a nightmare, at least I know my weakness now !

Day 2 today, need to get back on track otherwise I wont have a family let alone money to buy a beer ! Dark Place

Hi DP

I admire your determination to keep on going and not letting this destructive addiction beat you

Keep staying positive and strong

Suzanne x

Hi DP! You were gamble free for such a long time previously. Was it COMPLACENCY that broke your resolve? Maybe you thought you were free of the addiction or at the very least could control it? That's the killer I think. One day at a time - you did it before - you can do it again. Don't give up! Early days for me but I hope my determination sees me through and the enormous help and encouragement of this site. Take care and be strong! X

Dp

fella to repeat the same thing over and over and expect the outcome to be different is true madness,it will never change,it will get progressively worse,the 'oh well f**k it' attitude will prevail and you will risk more with each episode of gambling.

At which point you raise the stakes and lose your family only you know.

I cannot gift you abstinence,bottom line is the only person who can is you.

My question is was the gambling you did on saturday a sole act,one you did alone or was it an episode with friends involved,what some folk would call social gambling.

I would be interested to know which,because they both have different solutions.

Glad your back on the bike,f**k it has taken a good few tumbles but even with those buckled wheels and bent up bars you still return to get on it and re join the recovery road.

One day you will remain on it of that I am sure.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

My good friend Duncanmac, i know the weakness and regrettably it is drinking beers ! when i have had 5 or 6 stellas i become a different person and its almost like the demons swim to the surface and appear, then the rest is history. I am now putting measures in place to counter this problem, horrible feelings at the moment but all my own making. Day 1 and i will beat this eventually, without doubt the most difficult challenge in my life ever. Thank you for being here to support me with others, Dark Place

Dp

fella I am so glad to read you are looking at the reasons behind your gambling.

Without doubt alcohol can make you lose you inhabitions,your rational thinking goes out the window and quickly gets replaced by the 'f**k it' attitude.

I know I am a different person when I drink,at first I become happy,that warm feeling gifted,then I want to share that feeling,then I either get depressed or do something irrational,stupid something I will regret the next day,So if I drink I only drink a couple of beers,something else recovery has taught me.

To be in control of my rational self,to have the ability to 'think straight' is another gift of abstinence.

Recovery does not come easy my dear friend,f**k it took twenty years of being a complete a#r#se to bring me to this place,in those twenty years I broke myself,gambling broke me not just financially but more importantly emotionally.

Recovery is free,it's an awesome gift,you know that,you experience it,continue to do so.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks Duncan for your wise words.

Day 2 and some progress, went out last night and had copious amounts of stella artoi but had no thoughts of punting, if i had wanted to i could not have anyhow for the measures i now have in place.

Have a great day all, Dark Place

Day 3 and progressing again nicely, no desire to punt, dark place

Nice evening last night, few early drinks with friends and my wife/son then back home by 8pm for something to eat

Day 4 starts in earnest, big gambling day of course so i have to be on my guard and remain focused. Dont want those terrible feelings of anguish and despair anymore. Have a great weekend all, Dark Place

Hi DP

Good positive post

Have a great weekend gambling free ofcourse by keeping your guard up staying focused and strong

Suzanne x

Good morning Diary

Well a great day yesterday, firstly my beloved west ham won 3-1 🙂 then had friends around for few drinks and dinner, lovely home made indian lamb madras. All of this without the slightest inkling of a desire to place a bet ! when you can stop betting it is amazing how the values in your life suddenly change ! the benefits are almost immediate, long and forever may it continue. Have a great Sunday everyone, carry on enjoying life without the sickening curse of gambling.

I made a choice and i am winning now every day, tomorrow number 6 and soon one week again. Dark Place

Hi DP

Thanks for your supportive words

Keep making that choice and win every day

Well done

Keep positive and stay safe

Suzanne x

Day 6 and nearly one week chalked up, will be a long journey but one i feel equipped for. I have had more slip ups than a clown in a banana factory but my mood and mind set i can feel is different now.

Rain and wind outside, miserable weather for a bank holiday but i suppose thats british weather for you. Soon to get out of bed and full english breakfast to start the day, hmmm i can smell the bacon already. Have a great day everyone, i made the choice and i am winning gloriously every day !

Dark Place

Hi DP

Well done for keep making the right choice

Going forwards and not backwards and winning

Have a great day

Take care

Suzanne x

Day 7. working week begins. At least it is a short week and i am very pleased to have realised one week and everything in place if i start gettingbthose urges. Wishing everyone a great week.

Dark Place