Hello everyone - after 7 years of problem gambling I've finally built up the courage to log onto the GamCare website to see what help and support there is and what I can do to break down the vicious circle. I've been reading some of your recovery diaries and it's been really inspiring and for the first time in 7 years i've not felt as if I'm the only person in the world this has happened to...
So, my story... I started gambling at 18 whilst at University and loved the buzz it created and got carried away. For about a year I didn't gamble after moving back home and never really thought about it at all. As a relationship began to fail I started to look at ways to take my mind off it and soon rekindled my obsession with gambling and pretty much haven't stopped since. I'm in around 10k worth of debt but have a well paid job yet sometimes I'm unable to pay for fuel, or food because of my silly mistakes.
I'd always convinced myself that I didn't have a problem because I didn't wake up with the urge of gambling, or I didn't think about gambling 24/7, but the reality is that each month i'd blow 90% of my salary and so couldn't afford to think about gambling. I've only ever gambled a handful of times whilst sober too, it's often after a drink that I slip into it... alcohol may be a trigger for my lack of self control, but I wouldn't say I have an alcohol problem as such - even though cutting down is always good for everyone.
10 days ago I lost most of my salary for this month, leaving me short until my next pay day. Yesterday I built up the courage to confide in someone for the first time in 7 years and i'm feeling much better already. I've got a doctors appointment today and I'm hoping that this will help break the vicious cycle...
I'm going to update this diary as frequently as possible and share my success with anyone that's having or has had a similar problem...
Well done on your positive steps taken yesterday mate! It sounds like you've made a real breakthrough. You've done one of the hardest parts by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. You'll get lots of support on here pal, we'll be with you through every step of your journey. Keep updating your diary regularly, I find that always helps, especially in the early days of your recovery. You're not alone. There's plenty of us here for company, all in the same boat.
Good luck mate!
Moorey
Admitting there is a problem is the only way you can begin to find a way to get the help you need. So pat yourself on the back bud for you have done that most important thing. It is not easy and it is going to be tough with maybe a few slips along the way. But you are here now. You have admitted it and joined a help forum. You are on the road now and I whish you the best of luck. Have you rang the Gamcare helpline, would you consider counselling? If so ring Gamcare, they are great.
Thank you for your words of encouragement - I can't tell you how happier I am after being able to talk honestly and openly about what's been going on. I've visited my GP today and he was great, I managed to tell him everything and he has given me some advice and pointed me in the right direction, he's also asked me to have a monthly appointment with him so I can update him with my progress which I think will definitely help because i'll be keen to go and tell him how well i'm doing.
I've contacted GamCare earlier today to arrange some counselling so i'm just waiting for the call and then i'll arrange to meet them... small steps but I'm positive that I won't let gambling define me any longer.
It's been a few days since I've posted on here... last night was the first time i've drank alcohol since I last gambled, which I know is a key trigger but I'm pleased to say that I wasn't even remotely tempted which is progress in itself.
Which means that this morning I woke up with a hangover, but it wasn't coupled with the stress of finding money for my next meal... ! Best of luck to those still battling...
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