almost 40 years addicted

Cheers Al.

And how cool is this ?

I logged in just now and its was only my profile that made me realise that its 500 days.

A long way from just getting though an afternoon or evening was an achievement.

A milestone sure, but in the grand scheme of things fairly meaningless. I can leave work in 5 minutes and know that I haven't given gambling a thought today.

Still - I'll wake up at 6:45am tomorrow and the first thing that I think will be "Just for today, I will not gamble".

My names Ken and I'm a compulsive gambler (and always will be) - but the future much looks brighter than the past.

Posted by: KS2

Cheers Al.

And how cool is this ?

I logged in just now and its was only my profile that made me realise that its 500 days.

A long way from just getting though an afternoon or evening was an achievement.

A milestone sure, but in the grand scheme of things fairly meaningless. I can leave work in 5 minutes and know that I haven't given gambling a thought today.

Still - I'll wake up at 6:45am tomorrow and the first thing that I think will be "Just for today, I will not gamble".

My names Ken and I'm a compulsive gambler (and always will be) - but the future much looks brighter than the past.

This is very cool! Thank you for sharing. It gives me hope x

Hi Ken,

An amazing achievement by an amazing fella. Always time for others despite your own struggles. Your example is a beacon of hope for those fighting addiction & beginning their journey. Be proud & be kind to yourself as you have been to so many of us. 500 days is fantastic.

Well Done & Best Wishes

AL

2 years to the day since I first logged on to this site (slightly different user id). No idea what triggered me to search out my original posts.

Had been fixated on gambling since I was 13 or 14. 

I'm 53.

Made about 80 days before relapse in April 2018.

Another crack and relapsed on the August bank holiday 2018 losing just over £1k in a bookies.

Nothing massively unusual but that couple of hours seared into my brain for ever. Thought I was about £35k in debt, but adding it all up it was a touch over £40k.

Another attempt and so far so good.

The difference for me ? - self exclusion with GAMSTOP, without a shadow of a doubt.

The moral. If at first you don't succeed, try again, its never too late.

The other difference ?

I have had some wonderful support on here.

508 days clean, but I know I will always be a recovering compulsive gambler.

Just for today I will not gamble.

Well done you!!

so nice to read, I too have adopted the attitude that I will forever be an addict in recovery, it’s working for me so far

kram

Hi Ken,

Thanks for posting on my diary and I do appreciate your words, I think you may have another diary other than this one, as I am sure you I read you were up to 500 days, so many congratulations my friend.

There are many similarities between the situation you have been in and things you are going through which I can totally relate to. 

I will follow your progress and wish you all the best my friend on this Journey and when times are hard I think the best thing for us to do is just focus on the day, and never forget where we came from and where we want to be,

Cheers

Harry 

540 days.

Very sobering read of a long time posters diary who relapsed after a long period of abstinence.

A reminder to myself (and anyone else) ...

We are never cured.

Abstinence is not the same as recovery.

Never forget, never stop working it.

Hi Ken,

You're right we are never cured. Which just goes to show what a marvellous achievement it is for an addict to go 540 days without placing a single bet. There isn't any methadone or substitute for compulsive gamblers, it's all cold turkey. So well done, you should be extremely proud of yourself.

Best Wishes

AL

18 months.

Will wake up tomorrow and before I do anything I will commit to not having a bet.

Talked the talk, but didn't walk the walk.

The usual mixture of self loathing, shame & embarrassment.

Couldn't even tell you when I fell off the wagon this time, but I can tell for sure that if I don't try again that I will spiral right out of control.

Start again.

Hi Ken,

It wasn't all bad, yes you talked the talk & I listened intently. One of the many reasons why I've some how stayed away from gambling for over 3 years. I looked up to & respected you then just as I do today. Welcome back I've no doubt many in the future will benefit from your experience just as many of us did in the past.

Welcome Back

Al

Posted by: slowlearner

Hi Ken,

It wasn't all bad, yes you talked the talk & I listened intently. One of the many reasons why I've some how stayed away from gambling for over 3 years. I looked up to & respected you then just as I do today. Welcome back I've no doubt many in the future will benefit from your experience just as many of us did in the past.

Welcome Back

Al

Lovely to hear from you Al,

Been a slow spiral of gambling until going full on out of control this last week.

Did drive home yesterday with a smile on my face after seeing that your still here and still walking the straight path.

Ken

Hi Ken, 

No need for self - loathing, shame or embarrassment. I've learned a lot the last 3 years. I've learned from those who've stopped for longer than me & I've learned in equal measures from those who've had a relapse. I still have similar thoughts to those who've fallen off the wagon like 1 win & Christmas will be a little better, or put the new clutch in my car it needs. Typical CG thoughts of the quick fix.

Telling your story one day when you're ready could not only benefit yourself but others too by reminding us we're never cured & vulnerable to trigger points. The fact you've returned proves that you want to change things before they get totally out of control. Talking about successes and failures can benefit all those in recovery, which can bring a sense of pride rather than shame & embarrassment. Remember the best gamekeepers in this world are ex poachers.

Al

Day 7

Stopping for a short time never really been the problem.

Another couple of days tick by.

Just spending a bit of time re-reading my old posts (and other trusted posters) and reflecting.