And here comes another bore.........

Hi buddy

I like your attitude bud. You clearly have 'what it takes' as you have only had one bet (allbeit a good one!) in 8 months.

I think that's pretty dam good - considering you blew thousands in the preceding years.

Onwards and upwards mate.

We're here for you.

Matt

Day 16

One day at a time, one day at a time. Never cured, just not betting today.

Gambling in my opinion is a drug.

And thousands of us are hooked.

Money is our addiction.

And here I am 18 months or so on from my original post and still no better off.

Well I say that but my thing these days is to repeat the pattern in my original post, I stop for a month or two and then it attacks and I keep returning. Don't get me wrong I'm better off because in the time I'm not gambling I'm getting some money put away.

For example I had £500 in a share account with Hargreaves Lannsdown, not a fortune but for a man that's never saved anything and simply blown hundreds of thousands of pounds over the last 25 years it felt good.

Then I'm sat here Saturday afternoon, and I felt an urge to have a bet, tied to ignore it but it kept nagging at me, you know what happened next, £20 on, just a small bet and it loses so another £20 and that lost, the I'm annoyed so it's £80 on the next and that lost which was followed by a £100 and £150 which both lost.

I mean you could pick a complete novice off the street and he/she couldn't pick 5 losing favourites on the trot the way I can.

I'm in two minds here becaue on one hand I've covered the shortfall by withdrawing my money from my share account which makes me feel good that I was able to do that but I can't ignore the recklessness with which I threw it away.

I know I'm preaching to the converted but its mad isn't it? It's like you're possessed for that hour or so, in the cold light of day it's quite ridiculous to just keep throwing your hard earned on random favs but its like an out of body experience for me, when it's all over I sit there thinking 'what happened?' 'why did I do that?' but for that time I am just not with it.

I'm not even going to annoy myself by saying "Thats it, I've had enough" etc etc been there hundreds of times, I'll almost certainly go there again but I think I'd took my eye off the ball, hadn't logged on here for ages, not been to a meeting for ages.

Sometimes just getting this rubbish off ones chest helps I suppose. The progress I could make if I could come back in 18 months and say I hadn't had a bet would be incredible, I'm that used to living on buttons that I could save thousands if I could knock it on the head.

Ok me, I'll speak to you in a few months, please stop being an idiot, it's not doing you or me any good.

Think I'm losing it 🙂

Write yourself a letter and send it to yourself into the future. I did one when I'm going to be 64 (10 years into the future) asking myself “did I enjoy your last 10 years without gambling as opposed to the previous 30 years with gambling?”

http://www.futureme.org/

It's free and can be used as a tool to help yourself as you can do one for next day/week/month etc. Set yourself goals.

Hey NH

I've been exactly the same as you. I've had long periods over the past few years where I don't gamble and think I am cured so I can have a gamble and I can do it as a one off.

I now realise that when I have a bet it sets of a chemical reaction in my brain and I become someone completely different.

Keep posting on here even if you go 6 mths gamble free, keep updating cos it will help.

Regards

CBH

Can't believe it's been 2 years since I started this. Makes me a bit sad really because had I quit at that point I'd be so much better off now, instead I am no better off at all.

Had a particularly bad December which led to me having to take various finance options to deal with Christmas and boy do they get their moneys worth.

It swallowed up Janruarys pay and I get paid tomorrow and they'll be having a good go at that too. It will be April before I pay off Decembers excess's actually, sickening isn't it? Lost £100 I didn't hve yesterday as well on a complete throw away bet, some 3/1 nag I'd never heard of, absolute madness.

Point is that it's a new year and apart from yesterday my current issues are all 2012's and so I can stop this here and now. I am thinking ahead to Jan 2014 and what my options are. Another year of heartbrake and another few grand down the drain or I can look back and finally see some progress.

We'll see, I'm feeling quite good about the whole thing, not sure where yesterday came from but I'm feeling positive that aside.

As always I'm not going to be silly enough to say "thats it" because I've been there and done that so many times and it's never been it at all.

Good luck to you all for this year, its a good time to quit I reckon.

One week on and so far so good, been paid in the interim as well which is usually a big trigger for a bet for me.

I haven't previously grasped the idea of this diary as can be illustrated by the fact I have gone months without going anywhere near it which makes it just the occasional ramblings of another loser, I'm going to give it some respect now though and check in on a weekly basis.

I fancied a bet the other day actually and I thought to myself "but I was going to update my diary with a successful week on Thursday" so that just goes to show that this can in fact help me.

Little by little is my new motto, I'm getting fit and losing weight at the same time, no daft fad diets and no over training, little by little in life all round should eventually add up to a much happier me.

Anyway I'm feeling good and positive but I've been here before so I'm just keeping my head down and looking forward to next thursday and hopefully it will be two weeks bet free.

From time to time I have blown my wages straight away and so have an enforced week or two or even three week break from gambling so I can't get too excited about a week even though its under my own steam this time.

I really look forward to saying "its been a month" because I very rarely get to say that because I have usually been paid again and the havoc returns in that time span, I'll be uite excited if I am here in 3 weeks saying that.

That's all for now, cheers all.

Good post NH.

Well done on that first week. No need to hope you will still be bet free next week or next month. You are in charge of your own destiny. Keep making the right choices.

It really does help if you update your diary. Peer support is so important and you will get plenty of that the more you contribute.

I was glad I read your diary last week. That tip you werevoffered about writing yourself a letter to be delivered in the future really struck a chord with me. I've written myself one to be delivered in 6 weeks to congratulate myself on getting fitter and healthier and remaining bet-free. It has given me extra motivation for sure!

Keep strong. Don't be giving any more of your hard earned wages to the fat cat bookies.

Didn't really want to log in and update myself this thursday but I'd be a coward if I only came on when the week had gone well.

A very very frustrating week for me, lost £300 and the reason I am so frustrated is because I never at any stage had a compulsion to gamble.

I'm not sure if this is better or worse or if it makes no difference whatsoever.

I'm sat in the house last Sunday and my mate texts me "do you fancy going madrid on wednesday?" I replied "yeah course I do but I can't afford it"

Then the next day I was just thinking all day about how badly I wanted to join the rest of the lads that were going. I stupidly decided to try and gamble my way to Madrid. Honestly it wasn't an excuse to gamble, I wasn't dying for a bet at all, I really didn't want to miss the trip.

I needed discipline and didn't have any, looking back this has been the root cause of a lot of my problems. I've never liked missing any holidays or any trips or not having the best clothes on the best nights out etc.

I honestly believe that had he not sent me that text then I wouldn't have had a bet and I'd be 3 weeks in, instead I've had to take another pay day loan to cover the shortfall and I'm only 5 days without a bet.

It's annoying and weak on my part but for what its worth from a mentality point of view I'm still feeling strong.

Ah well thats all for now.

2 weeks without bet but not really anything I can take any credit or excitement out of seeing as I've been completely skint since the debacle above^^

Payday tomorrow though and there will be spare cash so I will be a happy man if I'm on here next week saying "3 weeks without a bet"

Not that it really means anything but I'm feeling good and strong.

Hey NHL,

I'am a compulsive gambler also, my g.o.c. was slots. You can do it, and have done it before. Stay strong on payday, maybe come on here and do some posting. It always helps me to post on my diary and others, you will gain strength from doin it. Have you ever tried any therapy at all? I enrolled myself into a outpatient addiction center for gambling. It's been a real rock for me along with Gamcare in my soberity. I posted some interesting facts in the intros forum under "chart of compulsive gambler and recovery" I wish you the best in your recovery, your doing great.

Chicagoguy

Thanks for that chicago, the only therapy I've ever tried is G.A and it didn't really do it for me though I kind of enjoyed it in a weird way just because of the range of characters in attendance. I remember one night that one of the members was particularly irritable and eventually blurted out that he'd done an armed robbery that day and lost the lot on the horses!

Anyway moving on, as I said in my last post I got paid last Friday and as of yet I haven't had a bet. I've found this week hard though, been checking gambling websites and came close to having a bet but I didn't and I am pleased with myself.

I'm worried about Chelthenham next week though, the last thing I need in these early stages of getting better. I don't know about every gambler but I actually love racing, I mean the actual sport, I love watching it and I get annoyed that I can't just be like everyone else and have a normal bet and watch the racing but I know I can't but I'll find it hard to not have an interest next week, just being honest here, I'm not giving in, I'm going to meet this challenge head on and if I'm on here next week saying I still haven't had a bet then what a boost that will give me.

Cheers NH

Hey NHL,

Great job on remaining gamble free. Sounds like you got things under control. Stay strong during Chelthenham, if you can get through that, it will be a huge boost in your confidence going forward. I wish you the best, keep on keeping on.

Chicagoguy

Hi NH

I feel the same way about Cheltenham as the racing is the very best. I think it will be very difficult for me personally as I am in the early stages of abstinence (only 6 days without a bet).

Cheltenham 2010 was my biggest ever win picking 4 winners out of 5 and taking over 2k on *******. But it was a total fluke. I realise that now and the 3 years I've spent since trying to recreate that kind of bet has been completely stressful. Like you I have wasted wages and had to take out payday loans to meet bills etc. It is better for me to forgo this past love as it was crippling me and ruining my life.

I wish you all the best in your recovery and I will hopefully be posting on my thread immediately after the Champion Hurdle!

Regards, Myles