Andy's road to recovery...

Hello all...again

Sorry i havent posted on here for a while. No bet since the 21.10 then today i go and lose £45 at lunch time.

i do not know what made me and now i feel sick. please can people post.

Andy

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Hi All,

As you can see, haven't been on here for a long while now. I come on here again looking for some support after losing around £150 online today.

I have been betting on and off since i last posted, nothing as bad as i was but still betting. During this time i have stopped for periods but always get drawn in by the thought of winning big again. Have been to GA a few times which has helped me but always stop going after a couple of weeks, just because i havent bet in those weeks i think i'm OK. Obviously not.

People around me know of my problem and that i was attending GA, this really helped me when i told them, although difficult im glad i did it.

Having lost today, i have extended my overdraft...again..so that it doesn't show i have lost money. I can't bear to tell people around me that i have lost money again as i will hurt them again which i dont want to do.

I know i always say it but i want this day to be the last of gambling for me. I want to start afresh, take one day at a time and begin to start paying back my overdraft. Luckily i donot have huge debts due to gambling although my overdraft is over £500, i dont owe my family any money due to it.

I would really appreciate some kind peoples words in reply to this as i feel very alone today and wanting to know that this will get better.

Thank you all for reading.

Andy

Hi Andy

It does get better when you get honest. You say that you extended your overdraft so as not to show your losses. By doing this you are covering your tracks and saying to yourself that it wasn't that bad. You need to be accountable for your actions. It is a tough nut to *** but you have to hang in there when it gets tough. Start by self excluding or purchasing a blocking software for your computer. You say that you don't owe money to anyone. I get the feeling that you feel it isn't that bad as yet. Believe me it doesn't take long to fall into the trap door. One day at a time is all we have. Speak with Netline for more practical advice. Stay close to this site and keep posting.

Take care everyone here is on your side.

Steve E

thanks for replying steve.

im going to scotland this month for a week of golf and need the money i have lost for there, otherwise i would not of extended my overdraft and would of punished myself by staying in every weekend. i am determined to pay that back at the end of this month when i get paid.

i have self exluded myself from bookies which i used to go in quite a lot. i will be starting to leave my card at home as well during the week as lunchtimes in london get me a lot too. i am tempted to purchase gamblock but cant afford it at the moment so am going to see how i go.

thanks again for your advice and i will be taking it one day at a time, thats for sure. this is not only a recovery to be gamble free for me, but to also get my finances in order. thanks a lot stevey.

Andy

That's the spirit Andy. I am originally from London but moved to Scotland a few years ago. I took up golf a few weeks ago but don't get time to play. Driving range for an hour. There are some great courses up here.

Get a blocker on computer as soon as you can afford it. In fact extend your overdraft that extra £50 and it will be worth it.

Take care

Steve E

yeah, am really looking forward to it. just wish my finiances were better but as i have read and been told, things can get better if you want them too. i really do want to sort things out and if it means staying in on a weekend and not socialising as much as i want to then so be it. you cant have it all and it is only my own fault that i cant do that.

hopes all well with you Steve E

Andy

1st day back to normality i hope. has been tough this morning. told my mum in the end what had happened online yesterday. again she was supportive and said lots of things that has made me feel better. i am so determined this time not to let it get the better of me and have realised i need people around me's help. so opening up to my mum, i feel, was a good move. although maybe selfish, i had to tell somebody close to me what had happened. really want pay day to come now so i can start paying back some debts. Andy

hi andy,

well done for chatting with your mum. being honest with her and yourself is very good. perhaps she could take control of your money for a while?

i see you have self excluded which i too have done recently... perhaps you might also consider a gambling filter for your pc too?

im not sure about your debts but these are nothing to what they will be in years to come if you allow this illness to continue (pot?... kettle?) and im quite sure in a short time they will be gone!!

i never did anything for years as i never had the money... always gambled away.

all the best with your recovery.

thanks chris.

your right, without gambling i can easily pay these debts off, whereas carrying on i they would only have got worse. i am 19 and have my whole life ahead of me, dont want that stupid roulette table to ruin my life.

hope everythings going good with you.

its day 2 for me and havent felt happier in a long time.

thanks all

doing good here now almost 3 weeks.

hope your ok there and still happy and still chatting with your mum.

thanks chriskawar,

still no bet and havent even thought about it, been busy at work which is good and been leaving the bank card at home. nearly the end of today and no bet, then time to concentrate on tomorrow.

andy

hello all,

how are we?

well, its sunday again and here i am writing on this thread just as i was this time last week. i had gone all week without a problem until last night in the pub, after a days worth of drinking and drowning my sorrows after crystal palace's abysmal display, i stuck £4 in the fruit machine, whilst my friends were having a f*g as i dont smoke and as they know i am trying to recover they would not of let me.

i know its not a huge amount but it was still a gamble, i regret it and am going to take this and use it to help me through another day and week. i feel so much happier that the thoughts of gambling arent playing on my mind and i am much happier to be around too.

thats all from me at the moment.

Andy

hi all,

here i am, yet again.

had been doing really well since my last post with only a couple of slips however this month has been really hard. started on pay day where i lost a quite substantial sum of my wages and then the last week or so where ive lost another big sum. this is money which i really cant afford to lose with xmas coming up and i think that has something to do with it, the thought of being able to buy lots of nice things for people and also to not worry about money when going out over xmas.

when i get paid (30th november) my brother has agreed to look after my cash card so i cannot get access to any instant cash. i feel this will help me as i dont use the online sites anymore anyway. im forever in my overdraft, which always seems to get bigger as i try and hide the fact ive lost big, and i really want to get his back down to a smaller amount.

im so bored at work and have been unsuccesful in a lot of recent job applications which i don't think is helping. im turning to the bookies for comfort.

ive just joined a gym which i hope will give me another thing to do.

ive turned to this blog again as it really was helping me before, alhough i struggle to keep it updated i will do my upmost this time as i really do need to stop all of this.

sorry for going on!! hope everyones ok and thanks for reading.

Andy

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Jesus - just reading this thread back now. Not alots changed eh'

Back again.... 5 or so years on and the gambling still playing up in my life. Can go months without doing anything and then bang, hundreds gone within days' or weeks.

Ive thought a lot about why i started this all those years ago and can see that inwas unhappy in a boring job, overweight and lacking in self confidence and the idea of winning lots of money would make me happy was the cause for gambling.

Times are different now and im in a job that i enjoy a lot, have lost a lot of weight and have a beautiful girlfriend. So why do i keep doing it? Well, the thought of having more money is a big one. Especially around occasions like holidays and christmas' when money is a bit tighter. You believe you can win to make things comfortable but end up chasing and losing more.

Then also recently i came out of hospital after an operation on my back and while recovering at homeC bored, and not being able to go out or do anything i thought betting on the horses would give me a little bit of excitement. Of course you never win. Chasing that loss yesterday in the bookies i lost pretty much all my february money.

So, there it is. My update after 5 or so years of originally posting. Can go months without doing anything but something still grabs me.

Im 24 now and with a lovely lady who i told yesterday that i lost a lot of money (she knew already i have gambled in the past). But id never lost money since being with her. She is worried obviously and wants me to get help as we want to live together but she has concerns over bills etc which i understand completely. That is enough motovation for me to try and kick this habit again.

Hope ive not wasted one to many lives on this forum with not coming back etc and people who have helped in the past i feel ive probably let down. Hopefully i can get on here regularly and post how i am doing.

Thanks all, Andy

Hey mate,

Really similar story to mines mate and read your full thread. Chasing my losses has always been a problem of mine. If i lose £20, i need to get that back, then because of chasing ive lost £50, then £100 and now i sit at wanting to get £270 back this month already - And i see myself saying all i want to get back is the amount i have put in - Only the £270... I don't even want to win any extra, i just want whats mine and id be so happy with that.

So if i didn't even do it in the first place, id still have the £270 that belongs to me.

Gambling is a crazy horrible addiction, it just becomes you and i think about it more than the good things in my life.

Like you i have a amazing girl in my life and have great friends and everything in my life is set up to have a really happy one, but this evil evil habit just nibbles away at me and takes over.

I'm seriously determined to never gamble ever again, no lottery, no grand national, no world cup betting, absolute Tee Total - Nothing.

I'll support you through it mate,

Your clearly a good guy, but this addiction doesn't care who you are, it takes your identity and turns you into a different person day by day.

The time to stop is now bud, im defo going to do it, its going to be very hard (This Saturday at 3pm with Jeff and the boys being step one) but its doable.

Take it easy man and remember, better days are out there to be had gamble free bro.

Drew