Angel From Montgomery

Joan..Joan....Joan

What a freekin fabulous post from you........Just look back at your first posts!

You are climbing out of the black hole and approaching daylight..........Wow Womble is being creative today.....lol

Am impressed hun........keep doing what you are doing............very proud of ya!

Hugs Sue nxxxx

Thanks Sue!!

Good Evening Diary: Still Day 17 and I have no desire to gamble..

Just sitting here in my easy chair sipping coffee.. now, that's nice. 🙂 ga night everybody and stay strong!!

hiya Joan...loved your story about the stone and that poem is fantastic....

it seems like your life is really turning around and you are in a space doing a lot of reflecting......a bit like housecleaning and throwing away what you don't want and keeping what feeds your soul....

Your a great writer Joan .,,maybe a new pastime for you if you don't do this already??..i'd love to write childrens books....just dreaming ...

keep posting Joan...sun still shining here in UK...which is amazing ..

hugs

glad your feeling a bit better

Rach and Dotty xx

Hi Joan, thank u 4 ur post on my diary 🙂

U r doing brilliant, I also liked the poem 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd 🙂

Stay strong and keep going x

Hi Joan,

Wow...easy chair...your dangerous time......sounds pretty serene to me!

So chuffed for ya hun....keep doing what you are!

Hugs Sue xx

Hi Diary: Just rounding the corner on Day 18 and no gambling. I just pushed through a pretty strong urge. Those b******s are not getting my money, my self esteem, or my future tonight or any other night. I am through with it!! f**k off gambling! f**k the f**k off!!! That was a close one but, I am stronger for it. Ga night everybody and stay strong!!! 🙂 joan

Good Afternoon Diary: Day 19

Still going strong. Read my last entry and had to laugh out loud. I was really jones-ing last night. The thing is; I got through it! Today, I spent most of the morning cleaning house. I feel less numb these days. Not feeling the dread. I am not a perfect person but, then I dont have to be. Pizza for lunch! All for now. -joan

Judy.

Yes you did get through it!!!!

And for that I give a massive well done from me to you.

Keep making the choice just for today.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hey Joan,

Thank you for your post, I see your realising like me that perfection is an impossible standard that we tend to set ourself, this has been a real biggie for me and i actually didnt know i was such a perfectionist, once i accepted this I am concious of this every day, I am slowly lowering the bar that I set myself which is always out of reach to a more attaimnable level.

Its amazing the pressure this releives from yourself.

Keep going your putting in the effort and fighting through those urges as they come. Well done.

Blondie xx

Hi Joan,

21 Today........congratulations!

Joan...I love reading your posts. Your so honest with how you are feeling....can almost picture you going through your everyday life. We all have a different way of writing our diary. I love yours because it is so different from mine. I attempt to be comical (not always sure tho...lol)

But at the end of the day we are all here for the same reason!

Hope Patrice and your dogs are ok?

Sue x

Thanks to all for your posts and your continued support. It means alot! 🙂

Dear Diary, day 22:

I promised myself that I would keep track of the number of days until at least 90. Then, will decide whether or not to continue counting... Anyway, I am up early and getting ready for work. Normally I would be scrambling around like a chicken with my head cut off. Ready, ready, nip this, tuck that... working up a little sweat trying to make sure that every little thing is in its every little place.. I believe I am beginning to let go.. I suspect that everything will fall into place without me today. I am here. I am calm. I am looking forward to teaching class this week. Traveling light. I will be leaving dread, guilt, shame, and gambling (for today) by the side of the road. A bit of illegal dumping but, I don't care. I have decided to grow my hair out a little. Screw the tidy little do I used to wear. I may even drive with all of the windows down and show up looking a little wind blown. You can take the girl out of the 70s but, you cant take the 70s out of the girl. I do believe I am making a come back! 🙂 To anybody reading my diary; have a great day..stay strong..and tell the urges to "be gone-- they have no power here!" -joan

Hey Joan,

Really lovely to read such a positive post from you today! I think there's a little stretch people have to get through in those early days of not gambling! It seems you are finding your way through that stretch now and starting to really push on! I say it to many people but I like to count the days and I think it's a great idea to do so until 90! Plus you have the 90 day thread so you have some very good and reachable targets!

I hope things continue to improve for you!

Flagg

HI Joan,

What a great post from you today, Fun, thought provoking and one that shows progress in how your thinking and therefore reacting to things.

I think a bit of wind in your hair with the windows down will be a great start to the day, Go for it !!.

Enjoy your day

Blondie xx

Positive posts from anyone on here are wonderful to read!

We certainly are all making a comeback on here by not gambling!

NT

Thanks Flagg, Blondie, and NT for your encouraging posts on my diary! I appreciate your support.

Gmorning Di Day 23:

I am letting go and letting life and things are getting much easier. I have more room to breathe. I feel awake. Urges come but, I don't feel as tortured by them. I am beginning to feel more in charge of myself. I am cautiously optimistic though. Blocks are all up. I have self excluded from all of our favorite haunts. I have a long long ways to go but, as folks say on this forum -- it's onwards and upwards for me from now on one day at a time. Today I will not bet. Today I will continue to let go and let Life because I am finding that Life with a capital L is much wiser than I am. Knowing that I dont have to be in charge of every d**n thing is such a comfort to me. God, looking back I cannot believe how arrogant I had become. Oh well, as they say it is the journey right? To anyone reading my diary have a wonderful day, stay strong, and be well!! joan