Angel From Montgomery

Hi Diary,

Full day today. I've got to clean the house because we are having a sleep over with our little niece tonight. I'm looking forward to docking in her world for awhile today as there is soooo much tragedy unfolding in our city this morning. I can't even express how I feel about all of it. I'm still processing it I guess. No knee j**k reactions from me today. Just silent reflection because there are no easy answers to this kind of senseless violence. So, moving into day 34 of complete abstinence and I have got to say that with every day I feel a little bit lighter. Abstinence is key especially in the beginning because I believe like in any addiction there is a painful period of withdrawal. I think I am getting through that part. Doing thoughtful careful debridment of a very old wound. If this were a wound on my leg I would not deliberately rub dirt in it. Add insult to injury. So, gambling for me now, would be just like that. Not just rubbing salt into the wound but dirt. Enough said. I need to get busy around here. -joanxxxxxx

A sad time like you say but know your neice will have brought some joy into your day.

My grandaughter started ballet last week and was showing today me how to pick up the fallen stars off the floor and throw them back into the sky, the first dance move she learnt.

Looking out the window at the stars tonight and hoping for a better world for everyone.

xxx

Hey Joan,

Keep putting that ointment on that wound and take good care of it, it' attached to a very special person who,deserves all the good things coming her way.

Take care, hope the sleep over went well, kids will always replenish our souls.

Blondie xxx

Joan.

As you quite rightly said my dear friend there is enough sh#t in the world so why add to it??

I hope you enjoyed some solice with that niece of yours, a light that children can be through the pain and dark.

As my dear friend blondie said keep applying the ointment.

The lids off the bottle now, and Mr. Gambling you know what Joan threw away the lid!!! f****k you!!

Just for today let there be peace again.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks all!

Hi Diary,

Checking in. Read a couple of very inspiring posts and Blondie, I think something you said this morning really rang true for me as well. That, I really want what you, Flagg, Duncs, and many others have. But, it was not until I had that for want of a better word spiritual awakening or epiphany that I really started to "get it". I managed to kick alcohol and cigarettes years ago but, never made it to steps 11 and 12. I was hanging on for dear life for many many years-- but, it was my anger and resentment that was holding me back. I can now understand how I fell to gambling. For me it was inevitable. Duncs the goggles are off buddy. I can see!! It's not gonna be easy. I know that but, somehow, things seem different now. I believe with all of my heart that Ed is helping me. That's all he wanted to do in his life -- to care for his family. To watch over them like you said Blondie -- like a lion. He can do that now. My mom and I are really communicating. We have had many very difficult conversations but, we are really making progress. I believe that healing can happen. I don't give a rats a ss what words one uses. But, healing can happen in some relationships and it is happening for my mom and me. Anyway, having a great time with the little one this morning. I know it's corny as hell but, she is a ray of sunshine. She really is. lol. No gambling today. Why would I? Gotta make breakfast for the crew but, just wanted to stop in to give proper thanks and to wish everyone a happy, healthy gamble free day. -joanxxxxxxx

Hi Diary,

I had a great day today. Picnic breakfast at the lake with P. Afternoon nap in front of the t.v. followed by a wonderful Sunday dinner of rare roast beef and mashed potatoes! Day 36 and counting. Stacking up the days and the dollars. Life without gambling is paying off nicely. -joanxxxxx

Hi Joan,

Ur last post was gr8 2 read, I'm glad u had a nice day u deserve it 🙂

U r such a strong lady, I am so proud of u 🙂

I'm always here 4 u if u need me 🙂

Have a gr8 week xxxx

Thank you Charlotte!!!

Good Morning World!

Good, good, good, good vibrations... 😀

-the beach boys and -joanxxxxxxxx

joan.

Ah if I had known it was rare beef and mash I woulda popped over!!!! Delicious, great to read you had another good day, the sun is out here today, the shorts are back out lol, and yes I am feeling those good good good vibrations this side oh the pond!!

enjoy your day.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Joan,

Thank you so much for your kind supportive post. You have really helped me see what I need to do to get my mind back where I want it.

Keep positive yourself too girl! x

Take care

Ade x ;0)

Thanks Joan, for me life seems so simple when I am with the children as they don't have a hidden agenda, they take me on face value and tell it like it is. Oh for the rest of life being that easy.

Those good vibrations have been sending ripples across the sea and down the river as feeling quite calm and chilled today, long may it last.

xxx

Hi ya

Thanks ever so much for your encouraging post it does mean a lot. I hope yo read more of your posts when things settle down this end :).

I hope you are well and Im loving your positive couple of post.

Take care

Nicki xx

Hey Joan,

Hope all is well, a big congrats on your 38 days gamble free! Keep at it, the roast beef sounds amazing with the taters, got fish and egg beaters coming out of my ears, another rainy day in Chi-town. Suppose to be a beautiful weekend, so maybe get out and do some hiking. Until then got the treadmill at the local gym, not the same as a good nature walk but it will do. Stay strong, and keep up the great work.

Chicagoguy

Hi Joan,

I sense a change in your posts and if that is eds lion strength that your drawing on or whatever it is its inspiring to see, embrace those good days with both hands. I can relate to your post about ed guiding you so much i feel that also from my dad.

Keep roaringgg Joan...

take care

Blondie xxx

Thanks all.

Hi Diary,

Loooooong day. Just got in. Gonna relax and have some supper with P. I'm happy about where I am at right now. I'm not gambling. I don't have the desire to gamble. And, that's about it for me on this cold rainy evening. joanxxxxx