Angel From Montgomery

Hey Chicago that's some fishin buddy! whoa!!

Hi Diary,

I'm beat. Long drive home and it got up to 75 degrees today. It goes from winter to summer! What's up with that?? Anyway am I complaining? No. Just really tired. I have been worrying for the last few days about not having work over the summer and today I was asked to squeeze in another 3 day class this month. Be careful for what you wish for -- you might get it. lol. Anyway, today is Day 47 and I am looking forward to my next goal of 8 weeks and 4 paychecks. All is well otherwise. Hope everyone has a great night. -joanxxxxx

So, I'm sitting here not knowing what to do with myself tonight. Typical me on a Thursday night. I have all of next week off and this is the start of a weekend. I have been trying to watch what I eat and was pretty good all day and them wham!! I get slapped in the face with some real difficult gambling urges. This is such bul l sh it. Why can't I just f u ck ing relax like the rest of the free world? There are soooo many people struggling with real problems and my problem is what??? No problems??!! It's nights like these that I miss the AA meetings I used to go to in Chicago. Very hard core. lol! When I'm like this the last thing I need is a pity party. I need some as s ho le across the room shouting "get off the cross Mary we need the wood!" I miss those people!! 😀 Anyway, I have no intention of going to the casino. I will hang out and breathe... I feel like punching the wall... breathe... lol... I'll get there. Just having somewhere to go to write this crapola off of my mind is helpful. I apologize for the cursing folks... Looks like I might need to get myself to a bag of potato chips before I start destroying property. Oh well. One addiction at a time. It's obvious that I have ALOT more work to do.. sigh... -joanxxxx

Yo,

Hun do not think the urges every go away completely .

But you are stronger now , so can see them for what they are . Urges nothing more , they only become more if we act on them . You my lovely have not , so bog off urges it takes more than that to break Judy's resolve .

Today Hun, you just put up another few bricks in that wall between you and having a bet .

High five to you !

Shiny xxxxxxxxx((((((((J))))))xxxxx

Good Morning Diary!

Yes, I made it through a difficult night without gambling or overeating. I pushed passed some pretty bad urges. Was there an antecedent? Yes, but, after my purge on here, about my childhood I have decided to keep my most personal thoughts to myself. The point is, I made it through a personal storm and I am stronger for it. Did I wake up today broke, shattered, guilty and filled with dread? No. I made a choice to push through the gambling urges. The plan for today is to scrape, sand, and paint our old picnic table. That should keep me busy for most of the day today. Tomorrow we will go to the lake to meet up with some friends and family. Oh, and did I run for the bag of chips? Nope. I settled for a bowl of fresh strawberries instead. Recovery takes work and commitment. I can do this!! -joanxxxxxx

Good Morning Diary:

I'm working toward my goal of 8 weeks and 4 paychecks and have about a week to go. I'm steaming ahead today. Calm seas and a clear blue sky. P and I will be meeting up with some friends at the lake for a birthday bbq. Adirondak chairs came and needed to be assembled. One of them was broken on delivery so, we have to send it back. P was upset b/c these chairs were her gift to me. I don't think she realizes that she is the real gift so I will have to work on getting that communicated better. The chairs are small potatoes. On the other hand it does suck that you can spend alot of money these days and not always get a value for a value. Personally I think I am behind the times in that I do not always get how much the value of a dollar bill has shrunk over the years. My paycheck does not seem to grow with the trend. lol. Oh well. I have the choice about where to place my focus so today it will be on the joy. Day 1 or Day 1000 it does not really matter does it? Today belongs to us. Let's make the best of it. Gamble free. Who needs that sh it anyway. So many good things in this life are absolutely free! I used to get soo mad at the gambling establishment and now I know that the best revenge on those greedy bas tar ds is to keep my money. I WIN!! Nah nah nah nah nah Ha ha ha. Keep strong everybody. -joanxxxxxxx

Hope you have a lovely day with your friends. As you say it is all about priorities. Who needs chairs when you can sit together on the grass.

xxx

Joan.

My dear friend you truly have gifted yourself something amazing, a gift all folk should work toward, whichever side of the fence they sit, that gift. Self respect. With that comes all the things you deserve for the efforts you give. With that your dollars also gain there true value. No more cashing in the paycheck for gambling tokens. Brilliant news.

Enjoy your day. Because your worth it.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks folks!

Hi Diary,

Lazy morning so far. Had a fantastic day yesterday at the lake. Lots of sunshine and hotdogs cooked on the grill. ANOTHER birthday cake lol. This one from my little niece. She and I spent the afternoon fishing. P and I bought her a little pink Barbie fishing rod and she catches fish with it!! She screams with delight every time she reels one in. Of course I get no fishing done because she is a handful but, I can't even describe the joy I feel in my heart watching this kid. Things that I do without even thinking about she thinks are so new. Anyway, I am rambling here. No thoughts about gambling today. Why the hell would I choose to waste my time and money gambling when I now realize I have way too much to lose? Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow will take care of itself for now, so, today is all I have. I'm gonna get to it then. Have a great day everybody!! -joanxxxxxxx

Hey Joan,

That's awesome, love your last post, been fishing all weekend myself, wonderful to be united with nature again. I caught 5 largemouth bass at a forest preserve today. Beautiful day out, great to be enjoying it. Take care.

Chicagoguy

Thanks Chicago!

Hi Diary,

Day 51.

😀 -joanxxxxxx

Hi Judy, thanks for the post. You're doing really well, 51 days without gambling is a real achievement, keep it going and well done.

Think picnics are one of my most favourite things and I def need to get a barbie fishing rod now. My grandaughter is such a mixture, she is a pink loving tomboy which is quite a combination to see her climbing trees in pink dress and tiara, just hoping she doesn't inherit too many of my weird traits.

So good to hear things sound balanced for you at the moment and you are building resiliance to whop the sneaky b*****d should it reapear.

xxx

Thanks Rainbows and Steve!

Hi Diary,

Feeling a little under the weather today. Not sure what's up but have been laying pretty low. No thoughts about gambling today. It was a beautiful day but, I pretty much spent it on the couch looking at the tv nursing a belly ache. Still better than draining my bank account. At least I can say I saved my money for needful things and wasted my time taking care of myself and not numbing out in some smelly casino. So, even when I feel like a ss I WIN. lol!!!! Stay strong everybody and I will too. -joanxxxx

Hi Joan,

Thank you for your kind supportive post on my diary. I was starting to think I was talking to myself there for a bit!!

Hope you enjoyed your veggie out day yesterday, at least you saved your money by laying low. As we both know that idle time can be destructive to us.

Keep that feeling of inner strength and bottle it girl!! ;0)

Hope the belly ache goes! lol

Ade x

Joan fabulous to see you go through the 50 gamble free days, 50 days enjoying the 100% payrise you gifted yourself through abstinence.

Any day beats a day gifting the casino your hard earnt dollars.

Keep making the right choice.

Just for today NO bet.

Duncs stepping forward never back.