Angel From Montgomery

Living a boring and mundane life is far, far better than living a gambling life.

Far less stressful!

NT

Thanks NT and all who take time out to post on my diary. It means alot!!

Dear Diary er, day 27 I believe:

It is Sunday and I woke up to the tune of " I still have f******g money in my bank account today" !!!! I cannot remember a Sunday after payday when I still had money left in my account. Little things like this really add to the momentum and give me the greatest boost in my confidence. We have a busy day planned for today. I am finding that keeping busy is helpful as well. Today, I am sipping coffee, reading posts, still a little sleepy, looking forward to the day ahead. I am not buzzing, frantic, sick to my stomach, broke, broken, sad, depressed, self loathing... Now, I am going to get a refill of joe, and go sit in the yard and soak in some sunshine. I am not going to gamble today. Anybody reading my diary have a wonderful day and stay strong. joanxxxxx

G'morning Diary, Day 28

Got past a payday weekend without gambling. For us that was quite an accomplishment! I cannot wait for the autunm months to come. It's my favorite time of the year. Country fairs, carnivals, farmstands, pumpkins, hayrides, lots of apple cider! Look at me looking forward. lol. Mondays used to be all about guilt, shame and reqret.. I still get very strong urges from time to time. I am getting much better at slapping them back and to be honest what folks say on these diaries about them becoming less powerful is very true. I guess because with every day gamble free I am getting stronger. The real test for me will be during times of turmoil or stress. I'm no fool. It's easy to be a little monk sitting on the mountain top but, I must always be ready for the angry bird missiles --always seem to come out of nowhere to blow up my little plans..so, I must stay vigillant, humble, and in the moment. At this moment I am calm and hopeful ( but, clutching a little baseball bat behind my back 🙂 just in case you know... lol. ) Anybody out there reading my diary -- please be kind to yourself today. Easy does it, and with lots of peace and love coming your way. joan

hiya Joan..

Thank you so much for posting ,understanding and being there...

Also counting days too but only 5 to go ...

Another payday under your belt and a calm and hopeful you to boot ! ...hope you are smiling on the inside and outside hun.

Spring and Autumn my favourites too and in the north a hefty dollop of rain but kind of used to it now...we just layer and wear wellies.....

Keep slapping those thoughts away as they come and like you say....soon they will loose their power as your life will be filled up with all the good stuff..

Peace to you Joan...

hugs

Rach and Doo xx

Joan,

I am so Lovin' your posts lately!

You are sounding so positive and enthusiastic!

What a difference eh?

Am picturing you...carnivals, farm stands and pumpkin pie.....Love it!

You go girlie....Glad I was in on your journey from the start!

Sue ....Your friend from across the pond!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

hi joan

carl

Judy.

I raise my Somerset flagon to you!!!!

A massive well done from me to you!!!

lets keep those gamble free paydays coming.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo,

I really do not think those angry birds want to be messing with a certain lady clutching a baseball bat .

Stress , worry and problems , will come that's life .

But without the added stress worry or problems our gambling caused we are in a much better place mentally to cope with them

Like you said each day you get stronger , I am loving the humour in your posts , ....

Keep un coming my lovely

Shinyxxxxxx

thanks 4 your kind words joan xx stay strong girl hugs x

Many thanks to all who posted on my diary. Your words of support mean the world to me. Really.

G'morning Di, Day 29:

Day off today so, am thinking about diving head first into a book. Sounds simple enough, but, for me a very difficult thing to do. It has always been hard for me to sit still and stay focused. My mind wanders continuously. I envy folks who can sit and read. The book I have been meaning to read for the last 30 odd years now, is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanence. Not entirely sure why, just always wanted to read it. Okay, so, let's see, book, water, reading glasses, flip flops on.. good to go. To anyone reading my diary be kind to yourself today. Stay very strong. We are all together in this mess-- we can do it, one day at a time. joan

Hiya Joan...

thanks again for popping in ..always appreciated and even though my diary days are coming to an end I am still like Linus with his blanket.

Understand that book situation!!..reading the same line over and over and then having to go back to page one and start again...

I have also the same problem with any form of meditation.

Zen eh?...Minnesota to Calafornia?....have had that book in my hand a few times in the shop but never bought it... WOW...heady stuff....would like to read it myself one day.

Chuckling at your list of pre reading props and thinking if that were me I would go outside..sit down..open the book and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Let us know if you have any OMMM lightbulb moments Joan...

unconditional

hugs

R and D xxx

Hi Joan,

Well done on the 29 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant 🙂

I hope u enjoyed ur book 🙂

Have a gr8 day x

Thanks Rach and Charlotte!

G'morning Diary Day 30:

I have decided that the title of my Diary will remain Day 1 as a humbling reminder that day 1 or day 101 I am one button, one scratch, away from where I was when I started. I will never be a perfect person and in learning that I have become less controlling of everyone and everything around me. Stephen Stills once wrote these words: "Shadows on the ceiling hard but not real like the bars that cage me within myself". Discovering that the choice has always been mine, and practicing letting go has opened up a whole new world to me. One where I can breathe

and experience new things. Today, I am here inside of my skin and calm enough to read a blessed book! I have hopes and dreams for tomorrow. To anyone reading my diary -- have a wonderful day, and stay strong. We do this one day at a time.. joan

Day 30....Go you hun!

Not only are the days mounting up Joan BUT you are changing your whole way of thinking.

Reading books again....great isn't it to be able to absorb information again..........Dunno bout your choice of books tho.....shades of grey for me.....LOL

Keep on doing what you are doing Joan my friend!

Hugs from across the calm seas Sue xxxxxxxxxxxx

...hey hun.

No tongue biting...you go for it girl...

I love your honesty Joan...its refreshing and rather like my own...

I always need some words of wisdom so I am relying on you to guide me outta this funk too....lol...no pressure!!

keep on keeping on .....you are on the right route...forget Route66...this is "Route to infinite possibilities".. ...'Rest In Perseverance"

Progress not Perfection...xxx

R and D xx